Boosh, Baby
by Katsumi Senju
Summary: A new employee enters the Zooniverse, catching the eyes of her employers and employees alike. The story follows the T.V. series as best as I could. Disclaimer: I do not own "The Mighty Boosh" Or any of its propperties. I only own the OC's.
1. Chapter 1: Killeroo

**Chapter One:**

 **Killeroo**

"So, you're here to do odd jobs as well as assist Mrs. Giddion?" Fossil said as the new help sat across the desk from him. The young woman nodded as she watched his eyes trace out her form. A shiver crept up her spine in disgust as she politely smiled back at him.

His eyes traveled around her petite frame taking mental notes about the woman sitting before him. She was wearing dark washed skinny jeans, with a vertically striped halter top of neon green and black. The top showing the silken ivory skin of the valley of her well endowed breasts.

His eyes traveled up a bit more to notice her swan like neck and smooth sholders. Then her face, a rounded shape, button nose, full bow shaped lips and high cheek bones. A dark spot under her left eye drew his attention closer to her almond shaped eyes. Her eyes were a light jade green color with swirls of white, and two rings around her pupils one being a light brown, the other being yellow, which all faded out into a darkened blue rim near the whites of her eyes, lined with black, thick lashes with very little make up on.

He had to say that she was quite easy on the eyes, her form wasn't twig thin nor was it too chubby, she was right in the middle. Her hair was parted on the right, creating a fringe that caressed her face just above her eye brows, a longer piece of hair hung in front of her double pierced ears on both sides of her face, framing it like fine art. The rest of her hair was pulled back into a bun at the back of her head with the ends sticking out in a spiked halo. It looked like soft red satin, he had wanted to touch it, but restrained himself.

" I think you will be a great asset to the zoo, you start today, Ms. Sterling." He said smiling at her. She smiled showing her straight white teeth.

"Thank you Mr. Fossil, I promise you won't regret it." She said happily. She stood up and turned to leave.

"Please, call me Bob." He said as he watched her heart shaped bottom as she walked towards the door in her neon green ballet flats. She turned the knob and left the office.

She walked out onto the paved path and started her way to the reptile house where her new co-worker awaited her.

"Mrs. Giddion?" She said softly, trying to locate the other woman.

"Over here." Mrs. Giddion called to her from her right. The younger woman turned and greeted her with a soft smile.

"You must be Ms. Sterling. I've heard you're quite the animal expert." Mrs. Giddion said smiling back at her.

"Well, I wouldn't say expert, and please call me Salem." She said with a smile, extending her hand in greeting. Mrs. Giddion shook her hand and smiled as the younger womans attention turned to one of the pythons in its habbitat.

"She's beautiful." Salem said, examining the large snake through the glass.

"That she is." Mrs. Giddion said smiling at the girls enthusiasm.

" But we can't doddle right now. First you need a tour of the zoo." Mrs. Giddion said. They began the tour of the zoo and what jobs would need to be done as well as doing a few things that needed immidiate attention.

"That should cover your job here, Salem." Mrs. Giddion said, concluding the tour and run down of the job. Salem smiled and looked around at all the animals around her and walked with Mrs. Giddion back into the reptile house.

* * *

Howard watched as Mrs. Giddion walked about the zoo with what appeared to be a new employee. Although he was helplessly in love with Mrs. Giddion, he couldn't help himself but to let his eyes wonder over the new employee's figure. At that moment, Vince just happened to walk up to him and saw him checking out the younger woman.

"So, spying on Giddion again or have you already fallen for the new girl?" Vince teased, startling Howard out of his wondering eyed stupor. Shaking his head, Howard turned to Vince.

"I'm not falling for the new girl, I've told you I love Mrs. Giddion, I want an equal intellectual woman. Some one who can stimulate my mind. Some one ..." Howard began rambling, while Vince began to check out the new girl.

His heart started thumping harder than ususal as she turned to one of the small monkeys in an exhibit and began having a conversation with it. A soft smile crossed her face as the monkey said something he couldn't catch from the distance he was standing. Mrs. Giddion smiled at him and nodded as the younger girls conversation ended and they continued on the rest of the tour.

"Are you even listening anymore?" Howards voice broke through the trance he was in. Vince shook his head.

"Not one bit." He said chuckling slightly and walked away, leaving Howard to stare after him.

* * *

Salem was talking to the snakes when Howard approached Mrs. Giddion. She tried to mind her own business when something about a Killeroo was brought up. Mrs. Giddion had been very strong on where she stood on the animal fighting that happened in the underground. Salem didn't like the idea of animals fighting for humam pleasure and gain either. She thought it was barbaric.

Salem was looking at a beautiful bright green viper, when the snake struck up a conversation.

"My name is Stella." It hissed at her. Salem smiles and hissed back her name.

" You seem disgusted by the other human's conversation, care to translate it to me?" Stella hissed, with that request Salem began explaining what Howard and Giddion had been discussing. Stella shook her head.

"Most humans are cruel by nature." Stella stated all Salem did was nod in agreement.

"But I have a feeling, Stella, that he was forced into it somehow." Salem stated, glancing at the small eyed, nervous man. Stella nodded her head in agreement.

* * *

Vince walked around the zoo doing his various odd jobs. His thoughts wandering off to many places as he fed the animals and cleaned the cages. His thoughts became focused more when the thought of Howard potentially getting killed came to mind. He knew he had to find a way to help his friend, but how? He had already signed Howard up for boxing lessons, but they didn't look promising with the results.

With a shrug, he let his mind wander some more. A flash of red interupted his thoughts as he turned his head towards the red head standing to his left, cooing at a lemur. He smiled and started debating with himself on how to start a conversation. He normally wasn't shy when it came to women, but this new girl had him sweating and nervous without so much as looking at him.

As Salem continued to talk with the lemur, whose name she found to be Tallee, her eyes caught a glimpse of a strange almost feminin man. Tallee noticed this and gave a slight chuckle.

"That's Vince Noir. He works doing odd jobs around here too." Tallee said, grabbing himself some of the banana slices Salem had been holding out for him during their conversation.

"That's lovely to know Tallee." She said, turning her attention to the lemur gorging himself on the sweet treats she had brought. He gave a chuckle.

"He talks to all of us animals too. He's a bit of an odd one though." Tallee said beginning to chomp on some more fruit. Salem nodded, glancing over at the feminine male. She shrugged her sholders and continued on her way to treat some more of the animals.

Vince walked up to Tallee with a curious look about his face. Tallee traced the young mans line of sight to the red head and gave a small chuckle.

"You fancy the new girl, yes?" Tallee said, startling Vince in the process.

"No, of course not, just a bit curious about her is all." Vince defended. Tallee rolled his eyes at the young man already smelling the pharamones that he was letting off.

"Her name is Salem. She's a nice girl to us animals." Tallee said, watching as Vince nodded and followed the red heads figure. Tallee sighed and climbed away from the infatuated boy.

* * *

Fossil approached Salem slowly, doing some sort of weird strut. Salem restained herself from laughing at the ridiculous sight infront of her. Fossil eyed her figure up and down. She internally grimaced at his wondering eyes.

"So, Ms. Sterling, got any plans for tonight?" He said, trying to be smooth. Salem held back the gag she felt coming on from where she knew this conversation would lead.

"I planned to go home and read a good book tonight, Mr. Fossil." She said, trying to be polite and let him down easily. Fossil shook his head and scoffed.

"Please, reading is so boring. Why don't you come with me tonight?" He said, pushing the subject on her. She tried to form a plan to escape him, but he trapped her against a near by wall with his arms.

"Mr. Fossil, please, I-" She began.

"I won't take 'No' for an answer Ms. Sterling. I'll pick you up tonight." He said and let her go. She shivered with disgust and began her way to the zoos boarding houses.

* * *

Fossil had picked her up as promised, though she had tried to refuse again, he insisted and in turn forced her to go. The journey there had been awkward, with Fossils pick up lines and constant flirting. Salem had kept her distance from the man as he led her to an underground arena. She felt her stomach churn at the thought of what this place was.

"Mr. Fossil, what is all this?" She asked nervously.

"Why it's a fighting arena for the jumping furry man with the pouch." Fossil said with a smirk on his face. Salem grimaced and started looking for an exit, but people kept pouring in behind them, blocking all exits. Fossil grabbed her wrist and began to drag her along behind him.

"Mr. Fossil, this is too much. I don't approve of this sort of thing! Please, just let me leave." She begged, trying to free herself from his grasp as he drug her to the ring side and made her sit.

"Now you just sit here and wait, I'll be right back." Fossil said. She cringed and squirmed in the seat, looking around to find a way out. That's when her eyes landed on Vince and Howard. Howard looked pale and nervous. She could tell he didn't want to do this, and that's when she watched as Fossil approached them.

It clicked in her mind that Fossil had been orchastrating the whole ordeal she was being forced to witness. Rage filled her body, making her stomach churn worse than ever.

The match started. Salem watched in horror as Howard started getting beaten, and flinched a couple of times. It made her sick to watch, Howard eventually won by grabbing the Killeroos balls and escaped with his life and the Killeroo pretty much unharmed, which she was thankful for both, she stood up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Fossil said grabbing her arm once again. She tore away from him and began walking, only to be grabbed again. She blew some of her fringe out of her eyes and looked at the sickening man. She turned around.

"I'm going home, Mr. Fossil." She said, trying in vain to get her arm released from his grip. Fossil stared at her with a pervish smile. Salem realized what he was thinking and quickly grabbed her pepper spray and shot it in his eyes. He backed away in pain, but his grip remained. She pulled back her fist and punched him in the nose with all her might. Finally her arm was released and she ran out of the building and back to her apartment.

* * *

Vince and Howard watched as the girl kept trying to escape the man. The crowd preventing them from helping, keeping them spectators to the scene before them. Both enraged by Fossil's behavior. They watched her run, and tried to catch up to her to check and make sure she was alright.

They saw her run into the boarding houses in the zoo and knocked on her door. Salem turned at the knocking sound.

"Good bye, Mr. Fossil!" She yelled through the door.

"It's not Mr. Fossil, It's Howard and Vince." Howard said through the door. Salem slowly approached the door and cracked it open. She examined the two men in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a timid tone, trying not to offend the gentlemen at her door.

"We saw what Fossil was trying to pull with you and wanted to make sure-" Howard started.

"-That you were alright." Vince finished in a slightly out of breath voice. Salem smiled and opened the door more.

"I'm alright. Would you like some tea, gentlemen?" She smile, gesturing for them to come in and sit a while. They nodded and entered the bright apartment.

"I believe an introduction is in order here. I am Salem Sterling. It's a pleasure to meet you." Salem said formally, remembering her propper manners.

"Howard Moon." Howard introduced shaking her hand.

"Vince Noir." Vince said, copying Howards actions.

"It was kind of you to check in on me, gentlemen." Salem stated, gesturing for them to have a seat on the couch and handing them some tea. She sat across from them in an over-stuffed chair.

"Well, when we couldn't get to you when Fossil was pushing his advances on you..." Vince trailed off. Howard cleared his throat.

"We had to make sure you were alright. How's your hand?" Howard asked, keeping the conversation going.

"It's fine, it's not everyday you punch a concrete block though." Salem said with a small giggle. The men smiled and let out a laugh as well.

Salems cell phone began to ring, the 8 bit tone of "Mamma Mia" by Abba began to play.

"Excuse me, gentlemen. Please make yourselves at home." She said, getting up and leaving the room to answer the call.

The men nodded and watched as she left. Howard looked around and noticed a wall filled with shelves full of books. Vince noted the light color of the walls and the art supplies scattered about in a corner of the room. The men looked at extensive collection of music and instruments along the farthes wall of the room and stood to go take a look. A collection of everything from jazz, to rock, to electronic and dance. It appeared she loved all kinds of music.

Salem walked back into the room and smiled at the men staring at the music.

"It's quite the big collection, isn't it?" She asked in a dreamy voice, staring at her own collection. They nodded as they combed through the mixture of CD's, cassette tapes and vinyl records. With a sigh each, the men looked towards the woman.

"Well, It's getting a bit late. We best be on our way. We are glad you're alright." Howard said.

"Yes and thank you." Salem said, looking over at the Neon purple clock on the wall.

"We will see you tomorrow." Vince said, though it sounded like more of a question. Salem smiled and nodded as she escorted them to the door.

"Good night." The men said.

"Good night, gentlemen." She stated and closed the door.

* * *

The next morning Salem went to work as usual. Fossil had passed by her and quickly hid his face in embarrassment. She giggled and continued her day.


	2. Chapter 2: Mutants

**Chapter Two:**

 **Mutants**

A week had gone by without any incidents. Vince and Howard had visited Salem a few times during the week, mainly to explore her vast collection of music.

Salem was talking to a gorilla named Bollo when Mrs. Giddion called for her assistance in the reptile house. Salem bid Bollo a good day and began walking to the reptile house, passing by a strange mustached man along the way. She felt his eyes on her as she moved by him with a shiver of discontent.

"Yes, Mrs. Giddion?" She said approaching the woman. Mrs. Giddion looked upset and worried. She turned to the younger girl.

"Yes, something is wrong with the snakes." She began.

"It seems as if something has spooked the poor creatures. They are refusing to eat or even allow me to take them from their habitats. And too make it worse, one of my snakes has gone missing." Mrs. Giddion went on. Salem looked at the scaled creatures with concern.

Salem was deep in thought as the intercom came on saying something about an employee going missing or presumed dead and to exercise caution. She looked over to the snakes and knew the disappearance of the employee had to be connected to their strange behavior.

"Mrs. Giddion, could the snakes be upset over the employee's disappearance?" Salem asked. Mrs. Giddion shook her head.

"No, he was never around my reptiles that I can recall." Mrs. Giddion stated. Salem nodded and walked around the various habitats. One of the cobras seemed a bit more on edge than the others, and quickly hid in one of the coves of his exhibit.

* * *

Salem sat on a bench and ate her lunch, thinking about the snakes behavior. Mrs. Giddion couldn't be consoled in her worried state of mind. She spotted Howard trying to help Mrs. Giddion with her problems and Vince come over and start talking with the cobra.

Salem sighed as she threw her trash away in the bin and took a walk about the zoo, looking for anything that needed tending to. That's when she noticed the strange mustached man from earlier acting suspicious near the shaman's booth. The door he went through was labeled "Lab".

"I could have sworn that wasn't there yesterday." she thought, but shrugged it off and continued to be aware of what was happening. She walked on, her mind working on what could be going on.

* * *

Salem had formed a plan to get to the bottom of the mystery she found herself thrown into. She quickly and quietly made her way to the missing snake's exhibit and began searching for anything that could help her. She looked down.

"Two sets of foot prints?" She thought as she looked closer and also found a trail that looked as if one of the people and a large snake had been drug out of the exhibits door. She followed the trail to to pavement where it seemed to end.

"That's odd." She said quietly to herself as she continued walking along the paved path. She stopped when she saw the lab door again. Taking a deep breath, she gathered her courage and approached the door.

She raised her hand to the door knob, when something hard hit the back of her head, and her world went black.

* * *

Howard had told Vince about the plan he had formed to uncover the mystery behind the snake's disappearance, and in turn winning over Mrs. Giddion. Vince had shrugged him off and continued his painting of Howard.

Howard had just begun to start his investigation when he was hit by something and blacked out.

Upon awakening, Howard looked around at the off white color of the room. He tried to move, but found he was restrained on what looked to be a hospital bed. Taking in more of his surroundings, he saw Salem still unconscious tied down to a bed as well. She slowly began to stir. Her eyes blinked open as her eyes adjusted to the lighting of the room.

Howard felt a small sense of relief when he saw she was fine. Salem examined her restraints and the area around her. Sighing, she let her head fall back down against the hard bed.

"This is what I get for being curious, I guess." She murmured to herself.

"That makes two of us." Howard interjected. Salem looked over to the man a foot or two away from her. At that moment the strange mustache man walked into the room. He began monologuing on what he was doing involving animal and human experiments and mutating several of the employees and animals. Salem began to ignore him and think of a way out, catching bits of useful information such as the name "Bainbridge", which appeared to be the mustached man's name.

She glanced around and noticed a scalpel not to far away and began relaxing her body to be able to bend and escape the restraints.

* * *

Vince stood outside, painting a picture of Naboo and the shaman's stand and surrounding area. He began to wander where Howard had disappeared, and where Salem had gone to. He hadn't seen either of his friends all night and was starting to worry. Vince began talking to Naboo about his problem.

"The answer is in your painting." Naboo said. Vince, being just a bit thick in the head, took a minute to figure out what Naboo was trying to say. Finally it dawned on him that they were in the lab.

* * *

Salem had just about escaped her restraints when a man appeared through the door, he was dressed in complete scrubs. While Howard begged and pleaded for his life, she pulled on her restraints one more time, releasing one of her hands. She discreetly reached for the scalpel and sliced the rest of the restraints just in time to see Vince pull down the sterile mask of his out fit and free Howard.

Vince stared at Salem for a moment and smiled. She gently smiled back at him and looked towards the door. While Howard and Vince began talking about Bainbridge's experiments.

"How do we escape from here?" Salem asked. Vince smiled.

"We just walk out, down the hallway and we're back at the zoo." He said. Salem nodded and followed the two men out of the door. They stopped in front of what looked like a prison cell and listened to the human and animal mutants talk about what they have endured. The trio released them and continued on their way to safety.

* * *

Salem walked with the men back to the boarding part of the zoo.

"So, do things like this happen often?" She asked the men. Howard looked at her like she was crazy while Vince just smiled and nodded. She sighed and continued walking until they came to the cross roads.

"Well, good night, gentlemen. It was an adventure." Salem said going on her way to her apartment.

"Good night, Salem." They said in unison and walked off to the house they lived in.


	3. Chapter 3: Bollo

**Chapter Three:**

 **Bollo**

Salem tended to Bollo, the gorilla, as he lay in his exhibit sick and possibly dying. She carried in various medicines and herbs to try and save the kind ape. Sighing she shut the door to the enclosure and sat beside the gorilla.

"Salem, you take such good care of me." He said, in his gruff voice. Salem smiled and propped him up some more.

"It's my job Bollo, but thank you." She said. She began mixing the different herbs together and feeding them to her sick friend.

Vince and Howard watched as Bollo continued to spiral downwards in health, and Salem try and keep him alive and reverse the illness that had afflicted him. The worry showed on her face when she was out of the enclosure, but never in front of their friend.

"It may be my time to go soon, Salem." Bollo said, looking at the woman still mixing the medicines. Salem faltered and began to mix faster.

"Don't talk like that Bollo. You're going to be fine." She said, letting her stubborn streak show. Bollo chuckled at the girls determination.

Vince watched how hard she tried to save the ape in adoration. He wished he could help her, but knew nothing about medicines for animals, nor did he want to mess it up or be in her way. While Howard rambled on about death in an overly poetic sense. Howard soon walked out of the cage and ran into Fossil.

" Ah, Moon, walk with me." Fossil said, as he started rambling on about the gorilla sponsor and some crazy plan of having him dress as a gorilla.

* * *

Vince was talking to Bollo, sharing some heartfelt memories, and moved him into the small building for very sick animals. Watching over him while Salem was gone on break that she reluctantly took.

Howard entered the enclosure shortly afterwords, when the grim reaper appeared through the bars, coming to collect Bollo's soul.

Salem entered the building just as Bollo popped up saying he felt better. Salem smiled.

"That's great news Bollo." She said happily, as she escorted him back to his enclosure. Vince followed her and their gorilla friend smiling, letting his eyes travel over his new female friend.

"Where's Howard?" She asked, looking back at Vince in his enchanted state.

* * *

The small funeral was held, Salem had to hold back her laughter as everyone else started to chuckle. She walked away from the group and went back to work with the other animals. Salem had a feeling that there was something odd about Howard's death.

After work, she decided to do some research of her own. Having read something about limbo and different animal beliefs,she found the book on monkey hell and how, if there was a mistake, the reaped soul would be taken into limbo. She looked into one of her magic books and found the way to limbo through a small spell using enchanted chalk and drawing a door.

"Vince? What are you doing here?" She asked.

"Me? What about you Salem? Do you know how dangerous this is?" Vince said, in a panic.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" One of the reapers said. Salem spaced out while Vince talked to the reapers, still not pleased over her appearance in limbo. Soon they were in monkey hell where Howard was tied up and being told of his punishment of being burned to death. While Vince smarted off and ended up getting the trio tied up and ready to be burned.

"Really? Isn't this a a bit uncalled for?" Salem said, struggling against the ropes. The King started to ramble on while she continued her struggling and Vince began to talk to the Ape of death about his hair and fixing it. Salem broke free while Vince worked on the Ape of deaths hair, and began to untie Howard.

The king released them all and began singing. Feeling the beat, Salem started dancing to the song.

"Okay, you rock." She said, bowing to the king as they were sent back to the zoo.

* * *

"What were you thinking Salem? What if things wouldn't have worked out the way they did? What would you have done then? You could have been killed!" Vince and Howard went on and on about her little exploit once they were back. She sighed, looking at the two of them.

"I would have been fine." She replied calmly, trying not to go into too much detail about how she had gotten there or any of the supplies she had needed to get there and back, as they walked to their apartments.

"How did you even get there anyway?" Howard asked, calming slightly. She hung her head and looked at the ground.

"Well?" Vince questioned her. She sighed and threw her head back in exhaustion.

"Let's go to my place and I'll explain, alright?" She said, not wanting to get into these kind of things, but knowing she had to if she was going to keep being around the troublesome pair. Vince trying to hide his concern for her with an aloof attitude and pose. Howard was just curious as to how she had managed to do something so extraordinary.

Upon reaching the apartment Salem turned to the pair as she unlocked the door and led them in.

"I used a gateway spell. Using magic chalk, a flat surface and an incantation. There, happy now?" She said, rushed and embarrassed as she showed them the door and how it worked, before erasing it from the floor, ending the spell and cutting off the portal. The men just stared at her in awe.

"You didn't tell us you were a shaman." Howard said, while Vince stared at the floor curiously.

"That's because I'm not." Salem started.

"Then how do you explain your using magic?" Vince asked, trying to hide the desperation in his voice, hoping that what she said wasn't true.

"Anyone can use magic, it's just a little tricky sometimes, and you have to exercise caution." Salem said. Her explanation didn't sit quite right with them. The Trio looked at one another as Vince and Howard grabbed one of Salems wrists each and began to drag her to Naboo's.

"You know, If you would have asked I would go willingly with you!" Salem said, struggling against their grips. They men looked at one another and released her, it was silent as the trio walked to Naboo's stand and entered through the door.

"Naboo." Vince said, poking his head through the beaded curtain. Naboo turned away from his desk and looked at the approaching trio.

"Yes, what is it?" He asked, examining the new girl with indifference. The men explained what had happened in limbo and monkey hell, as well as what she had confessed to them just moments before hand.

"Well, she is right. Anyone can use magic, they don't have to be a shaman to do so, but-" Naboo paused and stared at the girl, taking her hand gently and examining it.

"She has more magic in her blood than normal human beings do." He finished, releasing her. Salem looked at her hand and at Naboo.

"Really?" She asked. The other two men in the room looked at her accusingly.

"How come you didn't say anything to us? After all we've been friends for a few weeks now." They began to question her. She backed away slowly.

"I didn't know! I'm just as shocked as you guys are!" She said, her heart rate increased as she backed away from the men still sorting out what they were feeling towards the girl. She looked at Naboo helplessly.

"She's telling the truth. She's got an honest face, and if you'd look closely, you'd see you're scaring the poor girl." Naboo said calmly. The other two men looked at Salem, and saw how scared she was of the events that had just occurred. Vince looked away, a storm of various emotions running through his body, glancing up at Naboo. Howard looked at her closely and backed away to give her some space.

Salem calmed her nerves and excused herself. As she walked down the paved path back to her home she heard footsteps following her. Vince and Howard quickly caught up with her.

"We're sorry, Salem. We should have known you'd tell us something as important as that." The duo said, slightly ashamed of their behavior. Salem sighed, turning to look at the two men before her. She opened her arms and put one around each of the mens' necks in a hug.

"It's alright you twits, now, let's go home, shall we?" She said with a small smile on her face as they walked back to their apartments for the night.


	4. Chapter 4: Tundra

**Chapter Four:**

 **Tundra**

More time past fairly uneventful, as Vince watched Salem converse with several of the animals. Thinking how for the longest time, he was the only one able to communicate with them on such a level of understanding. Howard watched Mrs. Giddion work with her reptiles, stealing the occasional glance at Salem from a distance.

Salem was in the middle of a conversation with Jack, the fox, when Fossil came across the intercom calling for everyone to gather at the gates for an important meeting.

Fossil went on and on, picking on several of the others about grooming or shoes, and about the owner of the zoo Mr. Bainbridge. Salem rolled her eyes, the meeting was a total waste of time, until Bainbridge walked through the gates of the zoo, kneeing Fossil in the balls before telling everyone to get back to work, and letting his eyes roll over Salems figure.

Salem went on feeding the animals and cleaning some cages, afterwords working in the reptile house, documenting all the feedings, which snakes ate, any changes in behaviors, ect. Until night time came, and yet another meeting was called.

Bainbridge went on bragging about his travels and things he did while gone. Vinces' phone went off with the 8 bit tone of "Cars" by Gary Numan, Salem repressed her giggle as he silenced the call. Then Howard started going on about how he could do all the things Bainbridge did. Salem had to agree with him, the adventures were nothing compared to what the trio had been through.

"Then why don't you do it Howard?" She said, glancing back at the man. He looked deep in thought when they were called out by Fossil and Bainbridge, comments about Howards mustache came up at some point, but Salem didn't care about the petty insults between the men.

* * *

The next morning Salem found a note from her friends taped to her door. Reading the note several times over, Salem felt left behind as the men had gone to the tundra to find some really big sapphire. She hung her head and decided to go out shopping on her day off.

* * *

Her friends had been gone for days, she couldn't understand why they would leave her behind. Searching for answers in her mind, she went to Naboo to help pass her time.

"Hey Naboo." She greeted the shaman with respect. Naboo smiled and motioned for her to come in and visit for a while.

"What is it Salem? You seem troubled." Naboo asked, taking a puff from his hookah pipe. She sighed.

"Howard and Vince have been gone a while now, and I just don't understand why they would leave me behind." She confessed as Naboo blew out a streak of smoke.

"They might have thought it was too dangerous for you." Naboo said, knowing that it was exactly why they had left her behind.

"Dangerous? I've always been able to get myself out of situations when they got dangerous! Hell, I could have even managed to save those two twits if they weren't so lucky." She said, starting to rant on about her escaping Fossil, Bainbridge and the Monkey king. Naboo sat in silence and nodded at her rant, thinking about how cute it was to see her temper flare like the sun, and he started to see why the men had left her behind. She was adorable and a treasure to them.

Naboo thought back to when they had found out about her magic abilities, Howard had calmed and respected her space while Vince had freaked out and broken his normally cool fascade. The men treasured their new friend deeply and anyone with eyes could tell that she felt the same way at the moment.

Salem calmed herself down, and curled up in the cushions of Naboos couch. Naboo smiled at her, and knew the men wouldn't survive the trip without her.

"Salem, why don't you just go up there yourself? You know, using some of the magic you dabble in?" Naboo suggested. Salem perked up at the idea and scolded herself for not thinking of it first.

"Thank you Naboo. I think I will." She said, bidding him a good day and sprinting to her personal library to begin her search for a way to the tundra.

* * *

Howard searched for Vince in the icy winds of the tundra, documenting every few hours about his journey. Hugging a chunk of ice he was confronted by a man in a parka. Though Howard tried to resist the man and keep on his search for Vince, he eventually gave in and was taken to the tribes gathering place.

* * *

Vince sat with a polar bear, staring at the stars and the moon.

"I've only known this girl for a few weeks, and I just can't get a vibe off of her you know? It's like I can't read her at all." Vince confessed to the bear. The bear nodded in understanding.

"I just have no clue what to do, should I just go for it, should I play it cool, should I try and make her jealous?" Vince went on. The polar bear grunted in amusement.

"Why not just go with the flow? And if it happens, it happens, If not they it wasn't meant to be." The bear said, staring out into the night sky. Vince nodded and stared out, before excusing himself to go look for Howard.

* * *

Salem had the spell at hand, and items needed gathered. She read the ritual one more time to make sure she didn't mess anything up. She drew a small circle at her feet with chalk containing sea salts, lit an Ice berry scented candle, put on her new tight white snow suit jumper with Bright purple, knee high boots and a neon green, shimmery and soft winter coat. She took a deep breath as she stood in the middle of the circle and began muttering the incantation she had written on a piece of paper.

* * *

Vince and Howard sat, tied to a pole in the icy cave of the Black frost. Knowing it was their final moments they began looking back on their memories with each other. Bainbridge walked in and took the giant sapphire from on top of the pole, and being the corrupt man he was, left them there to die.

Salem appeared from behind the pole, knife in hand as she began to cut the ropes that restrained her friends.

" Salem? What on earth are you doing here?" Howard asked, eying the girl with the knife in her hand. Salem smiled while still working on the many ropes. Vince didn't say a word to her as she worked on the ropes at a faster pace.

The Black frost entered the cavern, eying his pray. He turned to Bainbridge and flash froze him with a spout protruding from his crotch piece. Bainbridge stood there frozen solid as the Black frost turned and was making his way towards the trio.

"I don't mean to rush you Salem, but is there any way you could cut these ropes just a bit faster?" Howard asked, in a panic. Salem cut through the last rope as a polar bear entered the cave and started to attack the Black frost.

The trio stood up and watched in awe as the bear beat the Black frost into dust. Salem gawked at the sight, not believing the luck the pair of men had. She hung her head.

"These two should play the lottery." She thought, staring blankly at the ground, while Howard and Vince grabbed their treasure.

* * *

The plane ride home was awkward to say the least. Vince refused to acknowledge Salem at all, Howard kept rambling on about how famous he was going to be. Salem didn't know what to do, or what she had even done to deserve the silent treatment she was receiving.

"Vince?" She said softly, taking the seat next to him. He held up his magazine closer to his face, blocking out the girl. She sighed and swallowed her pride.

"Vince, listen. I'm sorry. Alright?" She said, catching his attention, but his pride stopping him from acknowledging her yet. Sighing she stood from the seat and walked back into the bathroom portion of the plane, sitting down on the floor as tears escaped her eyes out of frustration.

"All I did was care about them and this is what I get in return?" She thought as more tears escaped her eyes.

Howard and Vince heard the quiet sobbing of the girl through the walls. Howard looked around nervously, trying to figure out how to make it better. Vince dug his face deeper into the magazine to try and hide his breaking fascade. Howard walked back and knocked on the door, hearing the sniffling girl.

"Salem? Are you alright?" He asked, leaning his ear against the door to hear her.

"I'll bee alright Howard, just give me a moment." She said, blowing her nose and washing her hands. She wiped her tears away and walked into Howards arms. He hugged her tightly.

"Thank you for coming after us." He said, truly grateful for her brave act. Even if luck was on their side in the situation. She nodded and gave a weak smile up to him. Releasing his hold on her, they walked back to the common room and sat down with cups of hot earl grey tea.

"Why did you come after us?" Vince asked from across the room. Salem took the acknowledgment as a good sign and sighed.

"You two had been gone for weeks, I was getting worried about you." She said point blankly. The men hung their heads. She was their friend and all they did was leave her a note. Guilt started to sink into their beings as the small silence continued.

"You could have been killed, or flash frozen." Vince blurted out. The build up of emotions he had felt when he noticed her arrival began to show. The panic in his heart, the relief, and the anger of her endangering herself for their lives.

"At least I would have died or been frozen with my two best friends." Salem muttered, taking a sip of her tea.

"That's not the point Salem! The fact is we left you at the zoo so you would be safe from the dangers of the tundra. Not so you could come and rescue us!" Vince shouted, feeling his temper boiling his blood. Salem sat in silence, waiting for more outbursts from Vince. Howard sat there awkwardly, listening to the conversation taking place between his two friends.

"But I did, you had me worried sick you know! No word from you, and all for that freaking sapphire and fame! You have friends that care about you, you know that? And if my head hadn't cleared when it did, you two could have died!" Salem said after the long pause between them.

Vince shrunk back into his seat, thoughts racing through his head as her words sank into his brain. Salem drank her tea calmly as she stared out the window. Howard gave Vince a look of 'Well, say something.' Vince looked back dumbfounded and sighed.

"Thank you for coming. You're right. If it wasn't for dumb luck, we would be frozen solid right now." Vince said, swallowing his pride. Salem nodded and gave a radiant smile to him. Vince felt his heart stop then start again, and gave a smile back. She turned her attention back to the window, as Vince checked out her outfit.

"Bright colors and soft fabrics..." He thought smiling to himself, and went back to reading his magazine.

* * *

When they arrived back, the paparazzi went crazy, taking pictures as they unloaded from the plane. Vince and Howard trying to shield Salem from the flashing lights of the cameras. The papers and tabloids having a field day with the 'Mysterious Woman' they were trying to shield. Later on, with the gem being discovered to be a fake one, and Bainbridge finding the real one.

"Don't be too disappointed guys. At least you tried to do something you wanted to do." Salem said with a smile.

"Oh, stuff a sock in it Salem." They said in unison as they crashed down on the couch.


	5. Chapter 5: Jungle

**Chapter Five:**

 **Jungle**

Bainbridge stared out the office window at the young woman tending to the various animals of the zoo with interest. He stroked his mustache in contemplation before Fossil walked up to him and began staring at the girl as well.

"She's quite a looker, ain't she Mr. Bainbridge?" Fossil said with a breathy laugh as the other man turned away from the window.

"She is easy on the eyes." He stated and began signing more forms to sell the zoo.

* * *

Salem chirped to an owl, deep in a conversation over human behavior. The owl was wise, like most owls are.

"You're very perceptive for a human, Salem." The owl said.

"And you are the perfect example of a barred owl, filled with wisdom as always, Xavior." She complimented the owl, who nuzzled into her cheek.

"You're too kind, my dear, but I believe it is time for me to retire to my nest for the rest of the morning. Good day, lovely." The owl hooted and flew up into its nest. Salem left the enclosure, softly closing the door behind her.

"You certainly have a way with the animals." A deep voice said from behind her. Salem turned and locked her gaze with Bainbridge.

"Thank you Mr. Bainbridge, I must admit, I find myself at a type of kinship with them." She said, trying to maintain her manners. Bainbridge extended his arm to her.

"Walk with me, I find myself a bit lonely this afternoon." Bainbridge said, wiggling his eyebrows. Salem tried to be polite and decline only to have her arm seized by Bainbridge before a word could escape her mouth.

"You know, I own this zoo, captured a fair amount of the animals myself..." Bainbridge said, continuing on about his travels and how rich and famous he is. Salem rolled her eyes and looked for a way to escape. They walked by the office when Fossil came out to finish the plans with Bainbridge.

"Ah it seems I must take my leave m'lady. Until we meet again." Bainbridge said with a bow, taking her hand and kissing it a bit longer than what was deemed proper. Salem grimaced internally as Bainbridge walked away. She grabbed the bottle of hand sanitizer and dumped more than needed onto her hands and began rubbing it in vigorously.

"Gah, that man creeps me right out." She said to herself.

* * *

Fossils voice came across the intercom, announcing that the employees would all be out of a job. Salem looked in horror as the other employees shrugged it off and continued their work.

Howard couldn't believe that the zoo was going to be closed. His mentor still legally had ownership as no one had found his body. He had confronted Fossil about it, but all Fossil had to offer was how the zoo was left to Bainbridge to do with as he pleased after 10 years, at that moment, Howard had made up his mind to go into the jungle room and find Tommy.

Salem was wondering around looking for other jobs to do having completed her work at the reptile house and trying successfully to avoid Bainbridge. Giving a big sigh of relief, she began her walk to her apartment, only to be stopped by Bainbridge.

"Ah, there you are Ms. Sterling. I've been looking for you all day, where have you been hiding darling?" Bainbridge asked with a smile that could make a baby cry. Salem shrank back.

"I've been doing my job, Mr. Bainbridge." She said, trying not to let her distaste for the man show. Bainbridge eyed her for a moment before taking her arm in his forcefully. Salem inwardly sighed, as he drug her around the zoo once again.

"Excuse me, Mr. Bainbridge, but I have some matters at home to take care of." She said, slipping her arm away from him trying to escape another outing with the self absorbed man. She turned away from him, only to be grabbed back and drug by his side once more.

"Now, Ms. Sterling, you wouldn't be trying to escape me would you?" Bainbridge asked. Salem shrunk back.

"I'm afraid, Ms. Sterling, that my patience for your antics has run out." He said. Salem took in her surroundings and noticed they were next to the jungle room. She had heard rumors about the old owner going into the room and never dying or in the case of what Howard had told her, he was hiding from the world as his head had turned into cheese. She looked up at Bainbridge in horror as he threw open the door and shoved her in the room, chaining it shut after she hit the floor.

Salem looked around the jungle, the green of the leaves, and the soft earth beneath her feet made her feel at home. She took a deep breath and began her search through the strange but familiar room.

* * *

Vince and Howard were beginning to worry when they didn't see their friend walking home or around the zoo. Howard was sure she would want to go along with them to find Tommy in the jungle room. Vince had a bad feeling when she didn't pick up her phone after the 10th call.

"Somethings had to have happened to her Howard, we need to find her." Vince said, barely able to hide his panic. Howard nodded and began their journey to the jungle room. Howard cut the chain on the door and entered quietly with Vince trailing behind, rambling on about how he was the 'Mod King' and the latest fashions. While shortly after they entered, Fossil locked the door.

* * *

Salem wandered through the jungle, seeing a small light and deciding to investigate it further. As she came closer and closer the smell of fire and smoke filled her nose. She peeked through the leaves to see a rather short figure sitting next to the fire, dressed in a deep brown cloak.

"Come and sit, child, warm yourself by the fire." The figure called out to her. She obeyed cautiously.

"You seem at ease here in the jungle. Why, may I ask, is that?" The voice asked, sounding like a man. Salem smiled at the figure.

"Well, I was raised by animals most of my life, in places very similar to this. I suppose, I feel more at home here than most other places." She answered, with a far off dreamy look in her eyes. The figure giggled at the girls love of nature.

"That must have been an interesting place to grow up." The figure stated.

"Oh, yes it was. The wolves took me in first. They said I was found under a willow tree, curled up with nothing but a thin blanket around me. They took pity on me and decided to raise me, as well as some other creatures. The wolves were my family for the longest time." Salem said, staring into the fire with a content smile on her face.

"You say were as if they are gone." The figure spoke. Salem nodded and looked out into the trees.

"That's because someone found me one day, I was about seven when it happened. The people accused the wolves of stealing me and a huge fight broke out. Most of the wolves were killed during this fight, and as I tried to fight back and leave, the people captured me, and took me far away from both my family and the friends I had made." She spoke sadly. The figure shook his head in sorrow for the girls loss.

"What happened next? If you don't mind me asking." The figure said. Salem nodded and took a breath.

" After I was captured, the people began teaching me how to be 'normal', but I could never be normal. I would talk to their pets, and to random animals that strayed into the town. I would often sneak off to try and find my old friends but they had gone off in fear of the humans. Shortly after discovering they had gone, I ran away from home, that's when someone else took me in and embraced my odd way of life, but also taught me how to survive with the rest of the human race." Salem said with a soft smile across her lips.

"What was her name child?" The figure asked, listening intently to the girls story.

"Her name was Fae. She was a good mother figure for me to have. She explained everything to me, and raised me as her own child. I never knew what happened to her. One day she was there and the next she was gone, at least she didn't leave with me unable to care for myself." The girl explained. The figure chuckled.

"It would seem child, that you are the perfect example of the phrase ' it takes a village to raise a child'." The figure said with a hint of laughter in his voice. She smiled and gave a small giggle with the figure.

"It's just too bad that I won't get to see my new friends again. I actually made human friends recently. I hope they aren't to worried about me." She said with a small sigh.

"They might be closer than you think child." The figure said.

* * *

Howard stood in the brush, listening to the girls story. While Vince had come up on the other side, listening intently to the story of the girls life. He found her story telling ability to be wonderful, and he would have listened to more if the pair hadn't been interrupted by Howard walking into the circle and joining them.

Howard began to tell his own tale, of his lost mentor. Vince rolled his eyes, watching as it played out. Soon, the figure removed his hood, and exposed his cheese like head. Vince took this moment to make his appearance.

They began to bat back and forth like most natural enemies. Salem stood up and listened as they talked about the zoo, and how it was to be closed down if Tommy didn't come back with them. Tommy had agreed to, and they began their long walk back to the doors of the jungle room.

Tommy began to feel tired, and out of breath about half way through the journey. He huffed and tried to catch his breath. Salem knew where this was going and decided to stay out of it.

"Howard, you must do what needs to be done." Tommy said, Howard argued with him for a few good minutes, before taking the cheese grater from him. Salem turned her head away as Howard used the grater on Tonys head. Unable to watch as he performed what could have been one of the hardest things a person would ever have to do.

Howard held the bag of shredded Tommy cheese, and nodded to go forward. Salem didn't argue with the scheme Tommy had come up with, nor the scheme Howard had come up with about feeding Bainbridge the cheese in hopes it would alter his mind during the contract signing the next day.

As the trio headed towards the doors, the sound of wolves was heard, coming closer and closer to them. A magazine had appeared in the small clearing they had reached. Salem looked at it in confusion.

"Their mod wolves." Howard said seeing the wolves all dressed in blue suits and hair done almost exactly like Vinces'. Salem felt her jaw hang at the sight.

"Don't worry, I'm king of the mods." Vince said as they all started dancing. Salem felt her feet begin to move and soon found herself dancing with the wolves herself, with a dazzling smile and a laugh that could cheer up the saddest of people. The wolves left them after that and they reached the door.

"It's locked." Salem said, trying to pull and push on the doors.

"No problem. One sec." Vince said, taking out a small pipe and began to play a few notes. A locksmith appeared out of no where and unlocked the door. Vince gave the locksmith the pipe as payment and the trio left the jungle room.

* * *

Salem walked home after a hard day of work, and almost vomiting from watching Bainbridge eat the cheese. It ultimately saved the zoo and her job, but it was still disgusting to watch, but the results of his mind being altered was worth the watch. As Vince and Howard came out of the office they glanced at her paling face.

"You watched, didn't you?" Howard asked, she nodded in confirmation.

"Vince, take her to walk it off will you? I'm going to go bury the rest of Tommy." Howard asked, Vince nodded and escorted Salem around the zoo to ease her stomach.

"So, how DID you end up in the jungle room?" Vince asked taking her shaky hand and leading her to a bench to sit down.

"Bainbridge threw me in there, for basically ignoring him and his advances on me." Salem said truthfully and smiled. Vince smiled back at her, enjoying the warm feeling he as starting to get from the simple gesture.

"Well, I'm done for the day, I think I'm going to go lay down, to get my mind off of the cheese." Salem said standing up and stretching her limbs. Vince nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Vince asked.

"Don't you always? Good evening Vince." Salem said with a smile.

"Good evening, Salem." Vince said with a bright smile on his face.


	6. Chapter 6: Charlie

**Chapter Six:**

 **Charlie**

Salem sat on a bench reading a story she had found photocopied and placed a box in the supermarket she had just been at. Enjoying the randomness but still connected story she giggled. The character of Charlie reminded her of a friend she had once had while running with the animals, he was a very nice giant wad of gum with a great sense of humor. She smiled as she finished the short story and placed the copy in her black polyester-cotton blend, drawstring bag. The bag had a cherry blossom pattern on it, with beige branches cascading down from the top, multiple neon colored blooms adorning them with neon green leaves scattered around. She pulled the black strings closing the bag shrugged them onto her shoulder before heading back to work.

Seeing Vince, wearing a poncho and Howard babbling on about being a writer, she shrugged and continued on her way. Vince watched as she walked around the zoo, checking on the animals and running about the reptile room. Feeling a pair of eyes on her, she turned and smiled at him before continuing on her with her duties. Howard sat down for a break, spying on Giddion through holes in a book. Fossil popped through the window, catching Howards attention.

While Fossil ramble on about trying to get the pandas to kiss and make baby pandas, with Howard debating back and forth with him. Vince went to feed more of the animals.

Salem finished documenting the feedings, skin sheddings and other things of the reptilian nature and was off to feed and care for more of the animals.

Vince saw Salem reading to one of the tigers, giggling with the tiger roaring with laughter. He smiled and made his way closer to the pair.

"... Eric decided to refreeze Charlie, but in his reptilian haste he accidentally froze him into the shape of a hoover..." He heard Salem read out loud with a chuckle and a smile. The tiger gave a grunt in amusement.

"I see you found one of my stories." Vince said, taking a seat on the outside of the enclosure next to Salem.

"Yes, I find it adorably funny, Vince. You never told me you wrote novelettes." She said still giggling. The tiger, deciding to leave the pair alone, got up and went back into its cave. Vince nodded and took the copy of his story from Salem.

"Do you have a pen?" Vince asked, Salem nodded and dug a pen out from her bag, handing it to him.

'To my dear friend Salem. Love Vince Noir.' He wrote on the back of the last page. Handing the stack of paper and pen back to her. She smiled at him and read the message. A small bit of heat filled her cheeks, but she quickly shook it off.

"Thank you Vince, but I must ask, Is Charlie based on a real person?" She asked. Vince nodded.

"I thought he might be. I know Charlie as well." She said smiling, placing the items back into her bag.

"Oh really?" Vince asked. She nodded in reply.

"Yes, great guy. Sometimes he sneaks into Howards room and watches him as he sleeps." She said giggling. Vince smiled nodding.

"Yea, that's him." He said chuckling.

"Well, I must go tend to more of the animals. The poor things need someone to feed them and talk with them." Salem said, standing up and making her way to the next exhibit. Vince watched as she left.

"Hey Vince." He heard Howard calling him.

* * *

Vince was dressed as a panda, while Howard tried to explain the plan to get the pandas to mate.

"But I don't look anything like a panda." Vince said, as they walked to the females cage.

"Pandas are very short sighted, you'll be fine." Howard explained. Salem walked by at that moment and connected the dots as to what was going on. She giggled at the ridiculous plan as Vince entered the enclosure. Howard began spying on Giddion again. Shaking her head, she walked away, leaving the pair of men to their own devices.

* * *

Salem sighed as Vince rambled on about having chemistry with the female panda. Howard rolled his eyes.

"... He's a brute, he doesn't understand what she needs. There's no way those two are gettin' it on." Vince ended his defense. Salem face palmed herself mentally and continued to walk.

* * *

Howard sat at the table, typewriter in front of him. The sound of the wind distracting him from his writing. He stood, and shut the door, silencing the noise for a moment. The sound of the wind came again, Howard checked the door, finding it closed he searched the table, finding the radio on and quickly shutting it off.

Howard sat back down and began typing, until he heard the sound of wind once again. Giving an exhausted sigh, he stood and began searching for the noise yet again. Finally, he walked over to Vince and pulled the magazine away from his face, discovering that it was him making the noise.

"You have to admit, it was pretty good." Vince said smiling.

"Yea, can you do fog." Howard replied annoyed. Vince stayed silent.

"Ah, here. Tell me what you think." Howard said pulling out the piece of paper. Vince walked over to him and took the paper.

"Well, what do you think?" Howard asked.

"I think you're just trying to do this bit to impress Giddion." Vince said teasingly. Howard sighed.

"No, deep down I'm a writer. I have very deep thoughts..." Howard began to ramble as Vince started to laugh.

"...And when Giddion and I do get together, and we will. It will be amazing." Howard concluded, noticing Vinces muffled laughter.

"What?" Howard asked, Vince just shook his head.

"You're mad." Vince laughed.

"How am I mad? I want and equal, someone who can stimulate my mind and have intelligent conversations with. Don't you want an equal?" Howard said, annoyed by his friends persistent chuckling.

"Well, yea, I want an equal. I've told you. I want a girl who loves bright colors and soft fabrics, and dancing." Vince said, Howard rolled his eyes.

"Just tell me what you think." Howard said, directing their conversation back to his novel.

"It's just a sentence." Vine said glancing at it.

"Just read it." Howard said.

"I'm not in the mood." Vince tried dodging. Howard began trying to convince him to read it. Vince told him that he didn't want to because he couldn't take criticism. Howard tried to hold it in, but the moment Vince began to make a suggestion, he started throwing things.

* * *

Salem sat in her comfy chair, sketching out the tiger from earlier with her pencil. Having just taken a bath and letting beauty products absorb into her hair, she held her pencil and sketch pad on her lap, sketching out the tiger she had conversed with earlier in the day.

A knock startled her out of her calm. She got up to answer it, peeking through a crack in the door, she saw Vince.

"Vince? What are you doing here at this time of night?" She asked opening the door for the man. He stepped in, feeling the chill of the night begin to leave his bones.

"Have a seat, would you care for some tea?" She asked, motioning to the couch for him to sit. He nodded and settled himself down.

"So, what brings you to my door this evening Vince?" She asked, handing him a fresh cup of tea and seating herself back down in the chair.

"Howard can't take criticism, and began throwing things about. So, I left until he cools it for a while." Vince said. Salem smiled and pictured Howards tantrum.

"Well, that's too bad. You're more than welcome to stay for a while. I was just sketching out the tiger from earlier while this serum sets in my hair." She said, looking back at the sketch she had started. Vince looked over at the concentrating girl in the chair across from him. Her eyes were focused on the sketch on her lap while her right hand worked on the details of the tigers form. He smiled at the small scene playing out before him.

Salem looked up from the sketch and smiled, blowing off the extra pencil dust and handed the picture over to him. He took it and began examining it.

"This is amazing, Salem. You really have a talent." He said, admiring the drawing. She smiled, a small blush taking her cheeks.

"I wouldn't say amazing, but it is one of the better ones I've done." She said modestly. Vince shook his head with a chuckle.

"I mean it. You have a gift for art." He complimented further. She smiled.

"Thank you, Vince." She said, picking out a folder from one of the shelves and placing the picture in it. She was about to put the folder away when the folder slipped out of her hand and scattered the many sketches across the floor.

"Oh, I'm such a klutz." She said, kneeling down to begin picking them up. Vince stood and knelt beside her, helping to clean up the mess. He found sketches of many of the employees and animals. Vince admired them as he gathered them together. They mess was almost cleaned, until one sketch caught his eye. He picked it up carefully, and began examining it. It was a sketch of him talking with a cobra. It was very well done, and looked as if it could be a black and white photograph.

Salem blushed lightly as he examined the sketch of the scene. She had admired the way he spoke to the animal and conversed. She had never known of anyone other than herself that could do such things. Vince smiled and placed the sketches he had collected back in the folder, Salem mimicking his actions and placing the folder away.

"So, Salem. What other secret talents do you have?" Vince said smiling. She smiled back and motioned for him to follow her. The pair walked down the small hallway and into a bright green room, filled with stack, upon stacks of material. In the corner sat a shelf filled with various colors of thread and a sewing machine. Another shelf to the other side of the machine held various types of jewelry making materials. Vince smiled at the bright colors and strange patterns, running his hand across the soft and some silky fabric stacks.

"I love to sew and create my own fashion pieces!" She said with a hint of excitement as she roamed about the room finding several of her unfinished projects. Vince looked around in awe at the sketches that were taped to the walls of her various designs. Some he had seen her wear on occasion. His mind blanked as she explained some of her more detailed pieces.

"Vince? Are you alright?" She asked worriedly, waving her hand in front of his eyes. He nodded, still too stunned for words.

"Here, let's go back to the sitting room and let your mind catch up." She said softly, guiding him to back to the sitting room and setting him down on the couch. His mind began clearing as he sat and began to sip his tea.

"It's getting late." Vince said, finally looking up to find Salem sketching away once again. She nodded in agreement.

"I should be going, Howard has probably simmered down by now." He said, she smiled.

"Of course. Let me show you out then." She said, standing and leading him to the door.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow then?" Vince asked smiling.

"Don't you always, Mr. Noir?" She replied giggling at his consistent farewell, nodding he left her apartment.

* * *

The next day, Salem was busy tending to a rather large python who had tied herself into a knot, when an excited voice rang through the reptile house. The echo off the walls startled her, causing her to fall backwards into the large pool of water in the enclosure.

Vince watched as the girl emerged from the water, patting the snake gently, and going back to work on the knot.

"Salem! You'll never guess what just happened!" Vince said excitedly. Salem smiled as she began her work on the snakes body, encouraging it to relax and let her manipulate it.

"Really Vince. What's going on?" She said calmly, maneuvering the snake into a better position. Vince smiled.

"Hamilton Cork came to the apartment saying he wanted to publish my Charlie story." Vince replied. Salem smiled and moved the snakes body, finally untying the poor thing. She left the enclosure, and made her way to the excited man.

"That's great news Vince! I'm so happy for you!" She said, sharing the excitement. Vince looked at the now drenched girl, her clothes hugged tightly to her body, her hair had gone flat and was matted to her face and neck. He watched as a bead of water rolled down her face and across her light rose tinted lips. She smiled, breaking him out of the trance he had found himself trapped in and smiled back.

"Yes, there's going to be a party for writers tonight. Howard is going as my caddy. Perhaps you would like to go as well?" Vince said. Salem smiled.

"I wasn't planning on doing anything tonight, so I don't see the harm in going with you and Howard." She said, flashing him a bright smile.

"Right. Well, I've got to get to the Panda enclosure, so, I'll see you then?" Vince said, trying to hide his love affair with the female panda. Salem giggled and rolled her eyes.

"Of course Vince." She answered watching the man leave. A small sigh left her lips. New feelings started to emerge from within her stomach and it made her queasy. Shrugging it off she checked the time, seeing it was time to quit for the day, she headed towards her apartment to begin getting ready.

* * *

Salem started with a bath to take the chill out of her bones from the fall in the pythons pool. Wrapping a soft, fluffy towel around her, she began on her hair. She applied the serums and conditioners to it, while waiting for them to absorb she painted her nails with a clear coat for shine. She blew her hair dry and brushed it out, leaving most of it down and pulling the sides back with a hair tie with a bright purple and pink rose clipped to the tie.

She applied some nude eye shadow, and rimmed her eyes with black liner and mascara. The last step was applying some cherry chap stick to her lips. She walked to her closet and searched for an outfit.

She dug through the closet and finally decided on some light grey, tattered, skinny jeans. A shimmering, deep green, spaghetti strapped tank top and a bright purple jacket, cropped and frayed just below her bust and a matching green set of undergarments.

She found a purple studded belt, a set of small silver hoops for her top piercings, and a pair silver chain dangling rings for her bottom ones. A simple silver chain hung around her neck with a bright pink rose pendant dangling from it. She found some silver bangles to adorn her wrists, and a pair of bright purple, open toed heals. Nodding at the outfit she had before her, she began to get dressed.

* * *

Salem checked herself in the mirror for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. Checking the time and deciding to start on her way to meet her two friends.

While walking along the path, she spotted Howard dressed in a checkered suit, with Vince in his poncho with the added accessory of a white cowboy hat. Salem smiled at the pair.

"Vince! Howard!" She called out to them. The duo turned and stopped at the sight of the woman. Vince let his eyes roam over her figure, which was brought out more with her clothing style. The normally five foot two girl was slightly taller thanks to her shoes.

They stopped and waited as the girl gracefully made her way over to them. Vince watched her body move like a tigress on the prowl, graceful and dangerous. The men offered her their arms, she smiled and linked an arm with each of them as they made there way to the party.

Once they had arrived, the party was already in swing, with Bainbridge entering and mistaking Naboo for Vince. Salem sighed internally as Hamilton Cork and Vince discussed the story, with Howard handing his one sentence to Cork. Cork thought it was brilliant, until Howard was escorted out of the party for punching Giddion in the nose for even trying to criticize his work.

Salem shook her head at the scene, and pinched the bridge of her nose. That's when she heard Vince giving some sort of warning about Charlie being real, and how he was going to come after Cork and Bainbridge. Sighing Salem went and sat with Naboo.

As the two horrid men laughed at Vince, the wind picked up. Two creatures dressed in bright pink entered through the gates. The music began to play as Charlie entered the zoo. Salem smiled upon seeing her old friend again and didn't panic like the other guests did.

* * *

The next morning Salem helped Giddion tape up her nose, and went to tend to the other animals as normal. Salem walked by Vince and Howard catching something about Giddion hooking up with the male panda, and how Howard had punched her in the face. She smiled and walked up behind Howard, throwing her arms around his neck in a hug.

" It's alright Howard. 'Tis better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all.' " Salem said, releasing Howard and turning to Vince. She threw her arms around his neck in a hug. He felt the back of his head push against her breast, heart thumping wildly as the girl spoke.

"Right Vince?" She asked, trying to cheer her friend up. Vince nodded, taking in a silent breath as she released him.


	7. Chapter 7: Electro

**Chapter Seven:**

 **Electro**

Salem was giving tours at the zoo, teaching the visitors about each of the animals, and keeping some children at a safe distance with gentle guidance. Vince watched as she handled the most current group of children on a trip. Each child staring wide eyed at her stories, completely enraptured by the tales of the animals and her experiences with them.

The children followed her like ducklings, patiently waiting for the next story she would tell. Vince chuckled at the site and set off to find Howard.

Howard was stuck in a jazz trance, moving sporadically to the musical beat. Vince tried calmly to get his attention, but ended up slapping him across the face. This action broke Howards trance and almost caused him to have a heart attack.

"Don't do that again. I was in a jazz trance, you could have given me a heart attack." Howard scolded him. Vince just laughed it off.

"You call that music? Try this." Vince said, popping a cassette tape into the stereo. Electro music began playing as Howard scrunched up his face. That's when the music debate started. Salem had just finished the tour with the children, when two women walked in wearing some brightly colored outfits.

"Excuse me ladies?" Salem said with a smile. The two women looked in her direction, but didn't smile. Salem didn't falter.

"I love your outfits! The colors are amazing!" She said with a small squeal of excitement. The girls looked at her as if she were crazy and struck an odd pose. Salem was a bit put off by their strange behavior, but continued to smile. The girls scoffed in annoyance.

"Why don't you go stuff a sock in it, useless wannabe." One of the girls scoffed at her. Salem backed away a bit.

"I'm sorry, I meant no offense-" She tried to apologize.

"Then why are you still here? You waste of space." The other girl said, smirking as Salem backed away more. Salem was about to turn away when she backed into Vince and Howards arms, each of the men put an arm around her protectively and Salem shrank back.

Salem managed to shrink back behind the men as they distracted the girls from her. She started towards the reptile house, knowing there was sure to be some documentation that needed to be done.

* * *

Vince sat on a bench, in awe that the girls had asked him to join there band as a front man. Howard came by looking for the girls.

"You just missed them." Vince said.

"Well what did they want? What did they say?" Howard rushed.

"They asked me to join their band." Vince said, his ego starting to inflate, and the fight between the two started.

* * *

Salem knocked on the door of Howard and Vinces apartment, a bag of freshly baked banana muffins in her hand. She heard Howard telling a story from his past. It was about selling his soul to some supernatural entity, so he would be able to be a jazz star. Salem sighed as she heard them arguing, and walked in.

"Vince? Howard?" She called. She followed the sounds of the fight to a the side room.

"What about the animals, Vince?" Howard asked. Vince scoffed.

"What about Salem then, hmm?" Howard continued trying to make Vince see reason, but it wasn't happening.

"F*** the zoo, F*** the animals and F*** Salem. They're all a bunch of W***s." Vince said, unaware of her presence. Howard had noticed her coming into the room. Both men watched her with cautious eyes.

"Salem?" Howard asked, standing to greet the girl. Salem stared at him, eyes blank and unusually calm.

"Salem, I-" Vince started, but she held up her free hand to stop him. Calmly she sat the bag of treats down on the table and began walking out of the apartment calmly, slamming the door shut as she left the dwelling. Vince stood there in shock, not knowing what to do.

Howard ran after her to do damage control on the situation. Finally catching up to her as she was at her apartment door. He reached out to her, patting her shoulder as she stared up at him, her eyes were red and puffed from holding back her tears.

"Salem." Howard said, compassion clearly written on his face.

"He's and idiot!" Salem said, sniffing and leaning against her door. Howard sighed and nodded as the girl cried silently.

* * *

The day had gone on, with Vince in his inflated ego taking over the band. Howard beside himself, fighting the entity that threatened to take control of him over playing instruments, and Salem, visiting Naboo for some good advice.

"Naboo, what should I do?" She asked, sitting on the couch across from him. Naboo shook his head with amusement.

"You want to forgive him." Naboo said as serious as he could.

"Are you high?" She asked, a curious look on her face. Naboo nodded and exhaled some smoke.

"But you know what I say is true." He countered her. She hung her head and nodded.

"Then go be there for him and Howard at their concert tonight." Naboo said with a smile. The girl amused him to no ends. She smiled at him and nodded.

"Thanks Naboo, you always know what to say to get my head in order." She thanked him, leaving through the beaded curtains.

Right after Salem had exited the small booth, Howard walked in, needing something to get rid of the entity threatening to take him over.

Salem waited outside for Howard, already dressed in neon green skin tight jumper with a halter like top half. A sheer green skirt hung from her hips down to the tops of her thighs. Knee high, silver, chrome, high healed boots adorned her feet with thin, clear plastic for the heals, matching her cropped jacket. Various brightly colored pieces of jewelry could be seen in her ears, on her neck and around her wrists.

Howard exited the booth, with Salem in tow as they rushed to the show.

* * *

Salem walked through the backstage doors with Howard. He took off to the dressing room to quickly prepare himself while she walked around looking for Vince. Salem heard the familiar voices of the girls from the zoo and a thud. She quickly sprinted towards the sound.

Her heart thumped in her ears as she drew out both the knifes she had concealed in her jacket and held one at each of the girls throats.

"He may be an ass, but NO ONE touches my Vince." Salem said in a deadly and dark tone of voice, making both the girls back up, and the brunette drop her weapon, just as Howard entered the hall with a cloud of smoke around him. Vince stood in awe for a moment as the band set up for the show. Salem stood in the shadows of the side stage watching them.

"Salem." He called, she turned her head towards the man. A strange feeling starting to bubble up inside of her.

"Yes?" She answered curtly. Vince approached her and threw his arms around the girls smaller frame, setting his head on top of hers.

"I'm sorry... I was an idiot." He said. Salem wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back, looking up at him and smiled. Vince felt his heart fluttering as they released one another, and he took the stage.

Salem watched the show, enjoying the performance her friends were giving. That's when she heard the sound of a hoover from somewhere behind the stage. She turned her head and watched as the cleaning device began moving towards the back stage. She ran back and grabbed the handle.

She tried to keep it pulled back, away from her friend as the hose attachment went for Howards bum. She pulled hard, fighting the possessed device until it jerked forward.

Howard hit Vince, pushing him off stage, as he pulled out his trumpet and began playing a jazz solo. Salem watched with wide eyes as Howards clothes ripped on there own and flew back off of him. She blushed at the sight and giggled pulling out phone and taking a snap shot from the side stage. That's when the blonde girl hit him over the head with a key-tar.

* * *

The next day, apologies were exchanged between all the friends, as Salem helped bandage up the mens heads.

"Well, this will be an interesting story to tell some day." Salem said giggling at the horrified looks on the mens faces.


	8. Chapter 8: Hitcher

**Chapter Eight:**

 **Hitcher**

Salem was tending to the brown bears enclosure when Howard came along with a guitar in his hands. She had finished cleaning the cage and feeding the bear, as she locked the enclosure up and started on her way to the next animal when Howard started introducing his new fusion of music.

Staying silent Salem listened to the jazz, funk mix with a small smile on her face. Vince walked up beside her with a grimace on his face.

"Not this again." He muttered.

"I don't know, it's jazz... with a funk beat..." Salem said, tapping her foot to the music.

"Yea, It's jazz and funk, it's junk!" Vince said with a smile on his face. Salem giggled at the joke.

"I love all music, Vince. Each expresses a different kind of emotion and point of view." She said, her eyes turning to the bear. She noticed that it didn't seem to like the music at all. Panic filled her as she went to stop Howard, but it was too late. The bear had started reaching through the cage bars.

* * *

Salem sat between the two men as Howard drove the transport vehicle. The trio sat bored for a while, the men arguing over the music, Howard preferring the slap bass tape he had brought. Vince rolled his eyes as Howard tried to explain the music to him. The bear became upset and Vince quickly changed the music. Salem danced along with 'Cars' by Gary Numan. The music stopped as the men began arguing about travel sweets. She let out a sigh, as Vince pointed out a short cut to the animal prison on the map and told Howard where to turn.

Six hours later they were still no closer to their destination. Salem gave a sigh as the men argued over the short cut and how it was a raspberry shoe lace candy. The argument went on and on, until Howard stopped the car and Vince got out. She was torn on what to do and jumped out of the car to join Vince. Howard giving her an odd look.

"He can't survive on his own, Howard. I'll keep him safe, here's my cell phone, I have a GPS in my bag that is linked to my phone. If we need help I'll call and send you coordinates." She said, giving the device to him. Howard looked at the phone with interest before shoving it in his pocket.

"At least she's thorough." He thought, switching gears in the car to drive off. Vince stared at the girl before him confused. She turned to him and smiled.

"Well, now what?" She asked. Vince shrugged and began walking, Salem in tow.

* * *

The night air was cool, as the chill began to settle into Salems bones. She pulled her work jacket closer to her body. Vince noticed, and shrugged off his coat, placing it over her shoulders. Salem looked up at him, feeling the extra warmth.

"You look chilled." He said, trying to play it cool around the girl.

"Well, yes, but what about you? You'll freeze." She said, starting to shrug off the extra layer. Vince put a hand on her shoulder and smiled.

"I'm fine." He said. She gazed at him with her almond shaped eyes and his heart started fluttering again. Salem breathed in to calm her nerves. The smell of Vinces cologne wafted into her nose, taking her to cloud nine, only to crash back to reality when they started their journey to who knows where.

"Ok, just let me know if you get cold." She managed to choke out. Vince smiled and nodded to her.

The duo continued to walk, running into a deer like man, who was one of Vinces old friends, who gave him a horn to blow should the duo find themselves in danger. They walked on down the trail through the wooded area. Salem sighed and looked around at the surrounding plant life.

"You don't seem scared of this place. Care to elaborate?" He asked, knowing most of it already. Salem smiled while looking around some more.

"I was raised in the wilderness for most of my life, by animals mostly." She said. Vince just smiled.

"Me too." He said. She looked over to him and smiled. The duo continued walking, sharing stories from their childhoods, growing up with the animals.

"So, who's this Fae woman you keep bringing up?" Vince asked. Salem smiled and stared off for a moment.

"I guess, you could call her my mother. She was a strange woman, very in tune with nature. She came and went with the wind it seemed like, but I was fine with the animals she left me with." Salem said in a dreamy voice, her eyes turned to Vince with a smile.

"She sounds like an odd woman." Vince stated. Salem giggled at the statement and nodded.

"She was quite a character, that's for sure." She said hugging his jacket closer to her form.

The duo looked ahead, spotting a green man with an engorged thumb and a white ring around his left eye, standing in front of hem holding a box covered in white rings similar to the one around his eye an equally as white streak running down his face. They stopped, staring at the strange man in wonder. Vince put his arm around her protectively, walking up to the man.

"Can we help you?" Vince asked, his grip tightening around the girl. The man said nothing and sat his box down. He opened the box and disappeared. Salem and Vince looked around them in slight panic. Vince wrapped both arms around her as the green man appeared behind them and pushed them into the box.

* * *

Howard was driving along a marked path on the map, telling himself he wasn't going to stop when a green man appeared on the side of the road. He went against his better judgment and turned around picking up the strange man.

Howard tried to be polite and start a conversation, until the man began rambling about coming from a long line of hitchers, and finding a hornet shaman who stung his thumb. Howard was on edge from the mans tale as the man commanded for him to stop.

"Please, don't kill me." Howard pleaded thinking the man was going to slice him up into bits. The man laughed and excused himself. Getting out of the car and into the bushes to relieve himself. Howard tried not to watch as the man began hovering from the pressure his body was releasing.

Howard drove off, staring at the box the man had left in the car. He stopped and grabbed the box, walking a few feet off the road and throwing it onto a rock, he turned to leave. He turned back around, curious as to what the box held. He shrugged and walked towards the box, opened it and leaned over the edge, slipping in.

* * *

Naboo had convinced Fossil to go after them, after reading his tea leaves and discovering the trio was in danger. They sped on the motorcycle through the forest.

"Where to Naboo?" Fossil shouted over the wind. Naboo looked down at his cup of tea.

"Left at the light." He said as they sped up.

* * *

Salem and Vince landed with a thud in the dark space. Vince felt the girl landing on top of him, his arms still secured around her as she gripped the shirt on his chest. Feeling around, the pair slowly released each other. Vince entwined his fingers with hers. Salem blushed brightly, thankful for the darkness. Feeling the heat, she shrugged off his coat and gave it back to him.

"Thank you, Vince. I'm feeling a bit warm now though." She said, staying still as Vince put his coat back on and reconnected their hands. The pair stared off into the darkness, when another 'thud' noise reached their ears. A small light of a fire, illuminated the small space around the trio.

The green man appeared in a flash of light as he began to introduce the animal offenders, and describing how the trio was going to die.

"Any last requests?" The hitcher asked. Vince had none, gripping Salems hand a bit tighter and pulling her behind him. Howard took in a deep breath.

"I was hoping to go out to the tune of some slap bass." He said.

"Well what do you think this is for? I'm the slap bass king!" The hitcher said, a bass guitar appearing in his hands. The hitcher began to play and the roar of the bear could be heard ringing throughout the space. The bear appeared and tackled the Hitcher.

"He's melted." She heard one of the men say, only to look over and see the Hitcher in just his underwear. Salem smacked her face with her free hand as the Hitcher took off running.

* * *

The trio sat in the car, Vince driving and Howard sitting there nervously.

"Are you sure you can drive?" Howard asked.

"Of course, it's easy." Vince replied turning the wheel.

"You don't have to keep turning the wheel like that, the road is straight." Howard said.


	9. Chapter 9: Call of the Yeti

**Chapter Nine:**

 **Call of the Yeti**

Salem sat in her room above Naboos' shop, packing some of her clothes for the camping trip Howard had planned. A knock came from her door.

"Come in." She called, placing some of the last minute items in the suitcase. She looked up to see Howard standing in the doorway in nothing but his bathing suit portion of his utility suit, stifling a laugh at the ridiculous sight.

"Are you about ready?" He asked, sounding slightly annoyed. She nodded her head and zipped up her suit case.

"Yes, all ready to go." She said smiling at the man. He blushed, just realizing what he was wearing and exited the room. She giggled and walked out. She walked by Naboo, who was shirtless, trying to pick out a turban. She mentally questioned herself as to why she moved into this place.

"It's the cheapest rent you could find..." She reminded herself, stopping as she walked by Bollo trying to help Vince pack his clothes. She let her eyes roam over Vince, heart fluttering at just the sight of him.

"...And there's that..." Her mind told her. Shaking out of her stupor she approached the familiar and Vince, setting her luggage down.

"Need any help?" She offered, smiling at the duo. They nodded as Bollo began to push down the clothes. When they were down she quickly pushed the top cases top down and sat on it, leaving Vince to lock it. The trio jumped behind the bed as the suitcase rattled, finally settling down.

* * *

They arrived at the cabin Howard had rented out, Naboo and Bollo quickly ditching the trio in order to go and get supplies. Salem sat bored over Howards lecture, having already known the basics that he was trying to teach.

She glanced over at Vince who was scribbling 'Please kill me" on his note pad. Salem suppressed her laughter and quietly tore a page from her notebook, making it appear as if she were listening to Howard, she began to write a note.

"Hey, Is it me or is this a bit boring?" She wrote. Folding the paper up while Howard had his back turned to the chalk board. She slipped her hand under the table and put the note on Vinces lap, brushing her hand on his thigh as she pulled it back.

Vince feeling the touch looked over to Salem, and saw as her eyes went down to his lap. He looked down and grabbed the note, waiting for Howard to turn his back again. He opened the note and read it, a smile on his face as he began writing on the note.

"You bet your sweet ass it is." He wrote back. He let his hand slip under the table, placing the note on her lap and giving her thigh a playful squeeze making her blush. She quickly recovered and pulled up the note. She smiled.

"When did you start looking at my ass?" She wrote trying not to laugh. Looking at Howard as he explained the life cycle of a frog. He turned to the board and she slid her hand under the table, tapping her free hand twice. Vince looked over and discreetly took the note.

Salem watched through the corner of her eye as Vince began to blush. A smirk crept onto her face in victory. Vince smiled about to answer her when the door burst open, revealing a mountain man. Salem jumped backwards from the shock, ending up on Vinces lap.

One of his hands holding onto her thighs and the other around her back. Noticing the position the pair quickly dropped the pose and backed themselves against the far wall. The man and Howard began talking, until the man noticed Vince and Salem.

"Oh, and who are these fair and lovely creatures?" He said, finding some form of gentleman within himself and mistaking Vince for a woman. Salem would have found this funny if the man hadn't turned his attention to her.

She could feel him undressing her with his eyes, before the men got onto the topic of scars and Vince flashed the one on his hip from a straightening iron. The man licked his fingers and rubbed his nipples, Salem cringed inwardly. Howard caught his attention once again and the man and Howard excused themselves to go sit on the porch, shutting the door behind them.

"Well, I'm officially freaked out." Salem said, going towards her suit case to get her night clothes. Vince walked over to his mirror and plugged in his various hair devices. He watched her move around through the mirror as she dug through her case, finding her sleeping tank top. It was white, and splashed with every neon color imaginable. Next was her bright electric blue shorts and a pair of bright pink, green, purple and blue striped knee high, fuzzy socks.

He watched as she left the room to go change her clothes. He began straightening his hair, keeping his eye on the door she had entered. Shortly emerging from the room, dressed for bed and her hair down. She placed her clothes back into the case, and got out a white, fluffy knee length robe with the pattern of brightly colored skulls on it. Vince smiled and turned around to look at the girl.

Salem turned and smiled at him, tying the robe around her waist. He motioned his head for her to come closer, her following his directions.

"Here, let me do your hair." He said, pushing her gently into a chair and getting out his supplies. He ran the straightener through her hair, adding various waxes, conditioners and serums to it. Salem smiled at the attention he was paying to her. Vince shook his head at the girls hair, unable to make it look any better than it already was.

"Is something wrong Vince?" She asked. Vince shook his head and chuckled.

"No. I just can't make your hair look any better than it already is." He said, still dumbfounded at the situation. Salem smiled in return.

Howard walked back in through the door, saying something about going on a walk, to try and take pictures of the wildlife in the surrounding area, before leaving the pair alone.

It wasn't very long before the mountain man walked into the cabin, his eyes fixed on Vince and Salem. Vince pushed Salem behind him as the man advanced upon them. Salem clung to the back of his shirt as the man got in Vinces face, rambling on about trying to make it with them both.

Vince glanced over and grabbed the straightening iron and clamped it over the intruders nose. The smell of burning flesh entered Salems nose, making her a bit queasy. Naboo entered at that moment and the man ran away.

"Where's Howard?" He asked, eyes filled with panic.

"He went on a walk about the woods or something." Vince said, turning and checking on Salem. Salem gave him a shaky smile, and released her grip on his shirt. Vince helped her into a seat as Naboo went on about Yeti mating and how dangerous it was for Howard to be out during this time.

The friends decided to go find Howard, all of them jumping into the car. Vince sat in the drivers seat, arguing with Naboo and Bollo over not knowing how to drive. Salem sighed, and was about to offer assistance when a ninja delivering one of Vinces magazines showed up.

* * *

The ninja drove at top speed to get the group as close as he could, then leaving with the speed every ninja possessed. The group began calling for their friend.

The group entered a clearing, where they found Howard, dressed in a white flowing garment, his hair down and shockingly longer with a crown of wild flowers sitting across his brow. Salem face palmed at the sight while the others stared on in shock.

Soon Howard started preaching about the wonders of nature, and being one with it. Naboo warned Vince to stay punk, stating that his mind was like a fortress. Salem shook her head as she watched the other men be brainwashed by the yeti females.

"Look into our eyes, you can see the future. Look into our eyes, we can see your soul." The men sang. Salem face palmed herself again, watching them dance around like lunatics.

"There has to be a way to snap them out of this." She thought, trying to recall what she had read on yeti induced trances. That's when a gunshot went off, and the men came back to their senses.

"RUN!" The mountain man yelled. They all ran as the yeti queen appeared behind them, chasing them all the way back to the cabin. They slammed the door shut and hid in the wall, making their heads appear to be mounted to it. The queen looked around, searching for any movement. She turned to leave when Bollo sneezed.

They all screamed as Salem slid out and under the Yeti queen just as she was standing over Vinces suitcase.

"Clothing avalanche!" She yelled and released the snaps holding the suitcase closed. The clothes flew out with such force that it sent the Queen flying through the air and back into the depths of the forest. They all packed their belongings back up, loaded the car and quickly started the journey back home.


	10. Chapter 10: The Priest and The Beast

**Chapter Ten:**

 **The Priest and the Beast**

Salem had been up for four days, trying to help Howard find a new sound between the many odd jobs she worked. She felt her eyes getting heavy, and blacked out before smacking her head onto the key board in front of her. The sound resonated through her head phones, but didn't seem to wake the sleeping girl.

Vince walked in, dressed in a mirror ball suit, and looked at the scene. Howard looked exhausted, and showed Vince the odd sounding chord he had found. Vince tried to make it work, but there was no use in it.

Salems limp body slowly started to slide off of the key board. Vince and Howard sprang up, Howard catching the key board from going backwards, and Vince catching the sleeping girl. He noticed the dark bags under her eyes and shook his head.

"She's been up with me for days between work." Howard said shaking his head upon seeing her face.

"Why didn't you make her leave then?" Vince asked.

"I tried, she's stubborn and said she wanted to help out and refused to leave that spot." Howard said, glancing over at the bench surrounded by various instruments Salem could play. Vince shook his head and began carrying her to her room. Upon entering the hall, Naboo stopped them. He asked about the rent and how they were suppose to pay him.

Vince put Salem to bed, shutting her door, before turning to Naboo. He tried to explain the gig idea and how if he helped them, he would get his rent. Naboo sighed and led them to his collection of music, and began telling the story of the 'Bongo Brothers' Spider and Rudi.

* * *

Salem slept soundly, dreaming of being stuck in the desert.

She walked across the sand, searching for something she couldn't remember, having faith that she would know it when she found it. The wind blew gently around her, kicking up small clouds of sand around her ankles.

Looking down, she noticed she was dressed in a sky blue, fringe dress from the 30's. Her hair was down with a headband keeping all but her fringe pulled back, only 2 small studs in each ear, and wearing knee high white go go boots. Giving a sigh, she continued walking amongst the sand and rock formations.

A sound caught her attention, it was odd to say the least, and followed it in its direction. She came upon a large rock formation that looked like and arch way and went through it. She looked around the small area, seeing a tree with glass bottles of all size and shapes hanging from it.

The wind blew again, causing the bottles to whistle and clink. The sound was oddly calming. She sat on a near by rock and closed her eyes, listening to the symphony taking place around her.

"This is nice." She thought, and began humming a tune with the bottles.

* * *

Vince and Howard returned with sad faces, and no money to pay Naboo their part of the rent. Naboo saw them come in and flop down on the couch, not pushing them on the subject.

Salem opened her glazed over eyes, and looked at the time. She stretched.

"Better get ready." She said to herself, standing and grabbing the silver body suit she had. She stretched the material over herself and began painting her exposed skin with silver body paint, finishing the look by spraying her hair with silver hair paint. Sighing with satisfaction, she examined herself in the mirror. The suit was a bit tight for her liking, but grabbed the silver toga that completed the look and wrapped it around her, then walked out of her room.

"Where are you going dressed like that?" Vince asked her. She smiled a tired smile at him.

"Street performing. I got stopped by a performer earlier this week who needed to take today off. She paid me 80 Euros to cover for her, even said I could keep half of what I earned." She said, turning towards the door.

* * *

Salem took the other half of the money to the street performer and headed home that evening. She smiled as she approached the small store, opening the door and headed up the stairs. She washed off the make up and changed into an lavender, sequined trumpet dress and reapplied her make up.

She pulled her the sides of her hair back with a clip, then slipped on matching high healed shoes. Slipping on some matching silk, elbow length gloves, she left her room, once again to go work. The sky was nearly black as she began her decent on the stairs.

"Salem, don't work yourself too hard. It's not good for your health." Naboo said. Salem smiled and nodded, continuing on her way out the door.

"I wonder if those two idiots even know she's been paying their rent for them, on top of her own? Maybe I should lower the amount, for her sake." Naboo contemplated.


	11. Chapter 11: Nanageddon

**Chapter Eleven:**

 **Nanageddon**

Salem walked into the shop and up the stairs, setting down in the chair in the common space, she slowly began to drift off to sleep. Howard walked in, noticing the sleeping girl, he grabbed a soft blanket and draped it over her with a smile. He sat on the couch quietly reading.

Vince came up the stares, dressed in a goth style. Howard held a finger to his lips, then pointed at the sleeping girl. Vince followed his directions and saw Salem curled up in a chair, sleeping away and smiled.

"Howard, I was at the goth club and I ran into two goth girls." Vince started.

"Goth girls?" Howard questioned. Vince nodded.

"Yea, I invited them over later tonight. I figured, two of us, two of them." Vince said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Well, Vince -" Howard started.

"It's not Vince anymore. It's Obsidian." Vince interrupted.

"Obsidian?" Howard questioned.

" Yes. It's my goth name. Obsidian Blackbird McNight." Vince said motioning with his hands. Howard shook his head. Salem moved in her sleep, slamming her face down on her palm, and continued snoozing away. Howard chuckled at the girl and turned back to Vince.

"I don't think this is such a good idea." Howard said. He glanced back at the sleeping girl. Howard had admitted to himself after punching Giddion and ruining any chance he had with her, that Salem was important to him. He was still unsure of how he felt, but he hoped to explore them at some point.

Vince shook his head and stared at the man.

"They're coming tonight, goth out, get dark, and do something with your hair." Vince said.

"I am a dark person." Howard said.

"Oh yea?" Vince egged him on.

"Yea." Howard began arguing.

"You're not dark." Vince said.

"I am too, I'm the darkest person I know." Howard countered, as the pair batted back and forth. Naboo walked into the scene, noticing Salem asleep in the chair and shook his head. The men sat down on the couch still in their debate, when they finally noticed Naboo standing there.

"How about you stop worrying about girls and worry more about paying your part of the rent?" Naboo said, the men looked at him with guilt written on their faces. Naboo shook his head and motioned to the girl.

"You see this girl, sleeping in the chair?" Naboo asked. The men nodded.

"She's been paying your part of the rent, working day and night as well as working for me when she can't find anything." Naboo said. The mens faces dropped more.

"Why would she do that?" Howard asked, curious of her intentions.

"She asked me not to say anything, but this is ridiculous. She works hard to try and support your dreams of being musicians, or whatever it is you want to be." Naboo scolded them. The men looked over the girls sleeping form, Naboo shaking his head and leaving the room to let the men think.

Vince watched her closely, the bags started to disappear around her eyes slowly from getting the rest she needed desperately. He recalled her staying up to help him with some new fashions, helping Howard with musical contemplation in the early hours of the morning. She was his rock, and he realized that he was taking her for granted.

Howard was examining the girl in front of him. A contemplating look crossed his face. She had been trying to help them, expecting nothing in return, and kept them housed. On occasion she would cook the meals for everyone or bring back leftovers from one of the various restaurants she would work at when they were short on people. A smile crossed both of the mens faces.

"Well, let's go get you ready." Vince said, breaking the trance the men had been in, Howard following behind him.

* * *

Salem blinked her eyes awake, and sat up. She stretched her limbs, thankful for a day without having to work. She looked around and saw Vince walking towards Naboos room. She overheard him asking about some magic spells, and borrowing a book. She shook her head and stood up to go to her room. As she turned into the hall way, she bumped into something hard, warm and soft all at the same time.

"Good afternoon, sleeping beauty." She heard Vinces' voice say, feeling the vibrations from his chest as he laughed at the dazed girl. She took a step back, looked up and smiled at him.

"What are you all dressed up for?" She asked, examining the outfit he had on. Vince smiled.

"We're going goth tonight to get some girls. Care to join us?" He asked. She smiled and nodded.

"Sure, I have just the outfit." She said and continued walking to her room. Vince watched as she shut the door behind her with a content sigh.

* * *

Salem left her room, and walked into the common room. Vince and Howard felt like their jaws were melting off. She had put her hair up in the usual spiked bun style with a black rose clip slipped in next to it.

She wore a sheer, under bust black top with the shoulders left open. The sleeves hung down her arms, in a shroud that ended at her wrists. Black lace, fingerless gloves covered her hands. A black corset with a dark purple skull pattern, covered her bust and mid section and framed her curves in an almost sensual way. Her short, black skirt was lined with silver chains around the hem and waist line, and clung to her at her hips. The skirt flared out to brush around her mid thighs. Fishnet thigh highs adorned her legs leading down to her mid- calf black, high healed boots.

Her accessories were simple as usual, one small black rose earing in each ear on top, and silver skull dangling ones in the bottoms. A silver pentacle hung from a chain around her neck, resting the charm between clavicle bones.

Her make up was done darker, dark purple eye shadow, black liner and mascara rimmed her eyes, making them stand out. Her lips were tinted with a shimmery gloss. The men felt their mouths water as she made her entrance into the room.

"What? Is it too much?" She asked turning herself around checking her outfit. They shook their heads, snapping out of their stupor.

"No, it's-" Howard began.

"Perfect." Vince said, taking in her appearance once more.

"Alright then. Let's get you ready for your company." She said, flashing a smile at them.

* * *

The girls had arrived, as Salem escorted them up the stairs to the common room. The room had been rearranged and designed with candles and a large, white star in the middle of the floor. Salem sat to the right of Vince, as the girls sat across. Howard entered the room upon Vince calling for him.

"Who is this girl?" One of them asked with a snotty attitude. Salem kept her cool as Vince and Howard explained how she was an assistant and fellow witch. Vince, still trying to impress the girls, read from a magic book Howard had retrieved for him. He ended up making flowers appear out of thin air. The girls rolled their eyes, Salem mentally slapped them, but maintained her composure and straight face.

"Oh, this must be the wrong book. Howard, go and get the right one." Vince said smiling to the girls. Howard had tried to argue, but the girls and Vince won. Howard returned with the occult book Naboo had told them never to mess with. Vince smiled and began summoning something.

An old lady appeared, wearing a red cardigan and holding a bag and knitting needles. The girls got up, with disgusted attitudes and left. Salem followed the men as they chased the girls down the stairs. She saw a flash few flashes of light from cameras and walked back inside.

"Where'd the old lady go?" Vince asked.

"Quick, Naboo's coming, act natural." Vince said, the men sat on the couch, while Salem curled up in her the chair. Naboo entered, seeing the trio in their normal spots. Vince listening closely, as Howard talked about his preference of jazz periods.

"What have you done?" Naboo asked, panic clear in his voice. The men confessing to borrowing the occult book and summoning something. Naboo ran to his room and searched for his book of demons, the trio followed him quickly. Naboo flipped through the pages, trying to match the description of the old lady.

"Not this old lady?" He stated more then asked, seeing the trio nodded their heads.

"That's Nanatoo. She's dangerous, see, she's got 5 stars." Naboo said, and turned his back on them. Vince and Howard begged for him to help them. Salem sighed and continued reading on the demon they had summoned, catching the important information about the demon getting the book and raising a nana army that would end the world.

* * *

The trio had quickly changed into old lady clothes and headed to a bingo parlor. Vince and Howard were arguing over the costume choices when an old lady began walking to the line.

"That's her." Vince said. Howard sprung into action, telling her to hand over the book. He took her bag and slung it to Vince.

"Guys... That's not her." Salem tried to tell them, but failed as Howard punch the old woman.

"It's not her, this bag is full of cakes." Vince said, dropping the bag beside the woman. The trio walked into the parlor, the bingo announcer flirting with Vince and Salem as they scanned the area for Nanatoo.

"What color cardigan was she wearing?" Vince asked, keeping his card up to win a pair of boots.

"I don' know." Howard said.

"It was red." Salem said, stamping her card. They scanned the area.

"Got her, watch this." Howard said, creeping his way to the nana and stealing the book back. He had made it to the door when another shaman, Saboo, appeared and tried to take it from him, rambling on about something called 'the crunch'.

Nanatoo turned her attention to the scene in the back of the room and let out a horrid scream. Vince yelled bingo, and went to grab the boots. Nanatoo started knitting a long scarf at inhuman speed. The scarf wrapped itself around Saboo, the trio stood there helpless as Saboo was used as a dart board for her needles.

They sprinted out the door, Nanatoo catching up to them quickly. Salem stepped on the long baggy dress she had put on over her goth clothes. The sound of the material ripping reached her ears, giving her an idea.

She continued to run, stripping off the baggy garment and shredding it into strips, tying the ends together she gathered the make shift rope in her arms. She scanned the street, finding two telephone poles and tied the ends to them, leaping over the trap and sprinting to catch up with the men.

Salem looked back as Nanatoo fell over the rope, but began to pick herself back up. The trio finally reached the shop, and ran up the stairs, finding Naboo still passed out on the couch. The men quickly got him up and gave him the book to find the banishing spell.

Salem stood between Vince and Howard, guarding Naboo as Nanatoo entered the room. Letting out another scream, she began knitting. The men threw their arms around Salem, trying to shield her from the scarf.

The scarf wrapped around their feet and quickly ensnared their bodies, trapping them in a woolen prison. Salem blushed under the scarf, noticing the position they had been trapped in. Her chest was pressed up against Vinces, their faces centimeters apart. She could feel his breath on her lips. His right leg was between hers, causing her skirt to raise up. His hand held her left thigh, while her left hand was wrapped around his waist.

She glanced backwards towards Howard, who had one hand free. His other hand was wrapped around her ribs, his arm under her breasts, pushing them up. His lower regions pressed against her bottom.

Nanatoo took aim with her needle, aiming straight at Salems face. Howard looked over, spotting the goth juice hair spray and grabbed it with his free hand. He sprayed the product at the needle, stopping it inches from her face.

"I found it, Nana Nana, Go away, Come again Another day." Naboo said quickly. Nanatoo screamed and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. The trios heart beats started to slow, and the men finally noticed the compromising position they were in.

"Uh... Naboo?" Howard called out. Naboo walked into Salems room and grabbed her camera, walking back out, he stood before them.

"Say cheese!" Naboo said, snapping few pictures of the trio in the embarrassing position. He took his time returning the camera to her room and walking back.

"Now, how can I help you?" He asked smiling.

"Help us out, please?" Salem asked, batting her eyes at him. Naboo laughed and started pulling on a string. Vince took notice of her face, and the way her body fit with his. Howard looked down at the girl, trying to be a gentleman and not move, feeling more awkward than he normally would.

The scarf began to unravel around their lower halves, freeing their legs. The trio let out a simultaneous sigh, then giggled.

"Well, this was an interesting night off." Salem said smiling up at Vince as the string finally started loosening around their heads.

"Yea." Vince said in a breathy voice.

"Agreed." Howard said, blushing bright red.

* * *

"Look Howard, we made it on the cover of Goth Weekly." Vince said, holding up a magazine. Howard smiled and nodded.

"You think that's good. Look on the cover of Dark Vogue." Howard said, tossing a copy to Vince. He looked at the cover and saw Salem dressed in her goth attire. He stuffed it in his jacket and smiled, looking over to the girl curled up in the chair sleeping soundly once again.


	12. Chapter 12: Fountain of Youth

**Chapter Twelve**

 **Fountain of Youth**

Salem sat, sketching out Howards face as he looked in the mirror, rambling on about having crows feet, and needing a face lift.

"It's an option." Vince said, standing next to him. Salem rolled her eyes and continued sketching. Bollo entered the room and stood in the door way.

"What's his problem?" The gorilla asked.

"He's having an aging crisis." Salem said. Vince walked over to the chatting pair, and began to ask Bollo his secrets. The topic of Naboo looking like a 12 year old popped up.

"What's his secret?" Vince asked. Salem put the sketch away, having completed it.

"He has different secret." Bollo said.

"Oh yea. What's that?" Vince asked.

"He has access to fountain of youth." Bollo stated. This sparked the mens interest. Bollo began exiting the room as they contemplated their next move.

* * *

The men started searching through Naboos' room for any clues that could lead them to the Fountain of youth.

"Guys, I don't think you should be doing this." She said, trying to pick up the mess they were making.

"I think I found something." Vince said excitedly. Howard rushed towards him, Salem following behind. Vince opened the box.

"Look there's a map." Vince said, Howard grabbed the map out of the box.

"This is more my style." Howard said. Vince gave a disgusted look.

"Your style? What about me?" Vince complained. Salem stood next to Vince as Howard handed him an amulet.

"Here, you like accessories." Howard said, and began reading the map while Vince played with the charm. He pressed a button and disappeared.

"H-Howard?" She tried to get his attention, but failed. Vince reappeared and grabbed their arms.

"Hey, check this out." He said, pressing the button again and transporting them back and forth between Naboos' room and the desert of nightmares.

"Oh, let's go then." Howard said with a shrug, holding up the map. Vince applied sun block to his skin, offering some to Salem. She applied the skin protectant as they walked.

A few hour hours later, the trio found their previous foot prints.

"Great! We're going in circles." Howard shouted, throwing his arms up in the air. Vince taking the opportunity to take a shot at Howards legs. Salem smiled at the pair, when she noticed a small, blue dwarf man, dressed in a black robe, approach them.

"What are you doing here?" asked the dwarf.

"We're here to find the fountain of youth." Howard said.

"All of the others who have searched have died... because I killed them." the dwarf replied with a dramatic pause. The men began to laugh at the small, blue man. Salem looked around, spotting multiple blue people dressed in black robes surrounding them.

"Now, you will be buried up to your necks and left out in the desert sun, until your heads catch fire..." The dwarf trailed off, noticing the pendant around Vinces' neck.

"You're the chosen one!" he said, kneeling down before Vince. The other people following his example.

* * *

Vince lounged on the many cushions in a tent, servants surrounding him waving fans to keep him cool. The dwarf ignoring his personal space, and caressing Vinces' leg.

"What are you doing? I need a little space, please. I'm feeling a bit clostro." Vince said. The servants backed off.

"Bring in the slaves." The dwarf ordered. Howard was drug in, wearing nothing but shorts made of a strange beige, fur like material. Vince held back his laughter.

The blue servants, drug Salem in next. She was wearing an ankle length skirt with a slit up to her hips on each side. It was made of the same material as Howards shorts, and was held by a rope like belt around her hips.

Her stomach was exposed, her top was made of the same strange fur, and wrapped around her chest, showing a lot more cleavage than she was use to. Chains were wrapped around her throat as she was pulled next to Howard. Vince examined the girl as the other servants left.

"We need to escape. They're all mad!" Salem said, trying in vain to remove the chains along her neck.

"She's right Vince, you're not really the chosen one. We need to get out of here." Howard said.

"See that's where you're wrong. I've always had a feeling I was the chosen one..." Vince started rambling. Salem rolled her eyes at his inflated ego as he lounged back. He grabbed the ends of their chains, pulling Salem closer to him than Howard, causing her to fall beside him on the cushions.

"Vince, stop playing around! We could be killed if we don't hurry." She said, finding a feather and picking at the lock on her neck.

"Nonsense. I'm the chosen one." Vince said, letting his ego inflate more.

The calls of an approaching sand storm rang out through the small camp, interrupting Vinces power induced trance. The blue people all taking shelter as it came towards them. The dwarf man entered the tent, eying the Salem as well as Vince. He began speaking of a man who controlled the sand storms, and how it was the chosen ones first test.

Vince walked out alone to face the creature of the sand. He struck up a conversation with the man made of sand paper, figuring out that the man was not capable of love in any form. Vince gave him some gloves, the man put them on and began feeling his body, among doing other things. He thanked Vince, and gave him a horn to blow in case he was ever in danger.

* * *

That night, Salem stood next to Howard, hidden in the shadows of the rocks. The other villagers had come to sing of their love of Vince and shower him with gifts of all kinds. A woman walked up to Howard, complimenting him on his legs, and other things. Salem ignored her, finding a sharp rock and trying to pick at the lock some more.

A sudden tug on her chain, made her drop the rock. The blue servant tugged harder on the chain, pulling the girl towards them. They handed her a tray of fruits and pushed her to Vinces' side. Kneeling next to her friend she began to feed him, eying the guards around them, all carrying some form of weapon should she disobey.

Vince smiled in a power drunk and hazy state of mind. Salem mentally gagged, but at the same time enjoyed feeding the man the sweet and delicious treats.

"Wow... I'm one sick f***." She thought to herself. She smiled, deciding to indulge herself a bit. She fed the man gently, her fingers moving sensually over his lips with every bite he took. Vince let his eyes roll back with the small amount of pleasure he felt from the simple touch of her fingers.

The tray was emptied, the party had ceased as Vince lay on his cushioned bed, sleeping soundly while Salem sat outside picking at the lock once more.

"Stubborn thing..." She muttered under her breath, watching as Howard snuck into the tent and stole the amulet.

"Have you gone mad?" Salem asked, following him.

"No, I'm the chosen one. Not Vince." Howard said, looking desperate for her to understand. She followed him to a shaded and hidden place in the rocks where the woman from earlier waited.

"Do you have the amulet?" She asked.

"Yes, it's right here." He replied smiling.

"Give it to me." She said, holding her hand out. Howard handed the charm over to the woman and Salem watched as she turned into the Hitcher. Salem backed away, Howard started to say something, but was silenced with one punch to his head.

"Mmm, you're a fine one." Hitcher said, letting his eyes roam all over her body.

"I think you'll come with me." He finished, grabbing her chain quickly and giving it a good tug.

Howard watched as Salem tried to fight back, being drug away further and further by the green man before he finally blacked out.

* * *

When Howard awoke, he was buried up to his neck with sand. Looking at his surroundings, he noticed Vinces' head next to his.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"I lost the amulet. Someone snuck into my tent last night and took it." Vince said, looking around.

"Where's Salem?" Vince asked, not seeing her anywhere. Howard didn't have the heart to tell him that she was taken, and was thankfully interrupted as the blue dwarf described their punishment.

* * *

Naboo had noticed the amulet and map missing, as well as his room being trashed. Bollo had told him of the earlier conversation with Vince and it didn't take him long to start the carpet and take off flying to the strange planet.

* * *

"Again, Howard. Where's Salem." Vince said, glancing at him through the sunglasses a coyote had given him out of sympathy. Howards burnt head suck out of the ground.

"She was taken by a green man shortly after I took the amulet." He said, not wanting to die with any regrets. Vince felt his heart start to race with panic. His mind running through every possible scenario imaginable as to what could be happening to her.

* * *

Salem sat in the shade of a tree, Hitcher had stopped to relieve himself in the near by bushes, leaving his assistant to hold her chain.

"Just wait 'til I get in that fountain o' youth, love. You'll be beggin' for me." Hitcher said, zipping up his pants and coming back into view. Salem cringed at the mans assumption of her.

"Luck, don't fail me now... Please." She thought, hoping things worked out like they normally do in tight situations.

* * *

Naboo and Bollo landed in front of Vince and Howard. Naboo scolding them like children, then leaving them to start the carpet. Bollo dug them out, giving Howard a hard time while doing so.

"Where's the amulet?" Naboo asked.

"It was taken." Vince replied, looking over at Howard.

"We have to get it back, if the fountain gets used by the wrong people, who knows what could happen." Naboo said, glancing around, he scratched the back of his head.

"Where's Salem? I thought for sure she would be with you two." Naboo asked. Vince hung his head and elbowed Howard.

"She was taken by a green man, who had tricked me into giving him the amulet after stealing it from Vince." Howard admitted, hanging his head as well. Naboo sighed and brought out his traveling crystal ball from his robes. Looking deep into the depths of the ball, he saw Hitcher dragging Salem along by a chain, near the fountain of youth.

"We're in luck. He's taking her to the fountain with him." Naboo said, placing the ball back in his robes.

* * *

Hitcher heard footsteps coming from behind them and turned, jerking Salems' chain in the process. He peered around, spotting the three men and gorilla gaining ground on him. Salems' eyes lit up at the sight of her friends and started struggling once more.

"You're not getting away that easily, love." Hitcher said, tugging the struggling girl along as he summoned the evil tree to stop the group.

The group got cornered by the tree. It approached slowly at first, then raised one of its giant limbs.

"You're going to die." It said. Vince thought quickly and blew the horn the sandpaper man had given him. In a flash, the man had come to their aid. The tree trying to reason with him, but failed. Handing his gloves to Vince, he sanded the tree down into a table.

"I'll come back and varnish you later." He said. He took back the gloves and with a short good bye was off.

* * *

Hitcher had jumped into the shower part of the fountains scene. Salem looked away and around for something she could use to escape. Spotting a rock the size of her fist she bent down and grabbed it. She slowly crept up on the assistant holding her chain, hearing Hitcher rambling on about feeling like a teenager again.

She raised the rock and hit the assistant in the back of the head, knocking him out cold. She quickly gathered up the chain in her arms and looped it around her shoulder. She turned to leave, but spotted movement in the surrounding trees.

Naboo saw the girl and held a finger to his lips. She nodded and stood still.

"We have to stop him." Naboo said.

"But how? There's no way." Salem said.

"There is one way." Naboo said, grabbing the handle on the toilet and flushing it. The flush caused the water temperature to sky rocket and melt Hitcher down into a puddle of green ooze.

"Salem." Vince and Howard called. She turned to face them with a smile. Before being trapped in a hug by Howard.

"I'm so sorry." He said before releasing her.

"I know Howard." She replied smiling. She turned to Vince, who grabbed her up and spun her around, holding her tightly to him. He buried his face in her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of roses and lavender. Gaining his composure quickly, he sat her down on her feet and held her at arms length.

"I'm sorry too, I acted like a total w***." He said, looking her straight in the eyes. She smiled up at him, making his heart race once again.

"It's alright, Vince. We all know how easy it is to inflate your ego." She teased. Vince smiled at her and let go.

"Here Salem." Naboo said, holding up a key. She smiled and took the key quickly and unlocked the chains, leaving them on the forest floor.

* * *

They rode on the carpet through the air, and through space.

"It's too bad we didn't get to use the fountain." Vince said.

"What do you think this is?" Howard said, holding up a flask, filled with water from the fountain. The men began to drink.

"You're not suppose to drink it you idiots!" Naboo said, looking back at them.

* * *

Bollo was cooking on the stove when Naboo came in asking about the food fill with an aging serum, carefully measured to restore Vince and Howards' age. Salem sat holding the men turned infants close to her.

"I think one of them just had a little accident..." Naboo said, looking over at the babies laying on the girl. Salem just smiled and sighed, looking down at the infants.

"What am I going to do with you two." She said.


	13. Chapter 13: The Legend of Old Gregg

**Chapter Thirteen**

 **The Legend of Old Gregg**

Salem ran inside the shop, ducking behind the couch that Naboo and Bollo were sitting on. Naboo looked over his shoulder at the girls strange behavior. Vince and Howard followed her in shortly after.

"How did it go?" Naboo asked.

"Best, gig, ever." Vince said, sounding very optimistic. Salem crawled out from behind the couch and into her room, quickly packing a small bag of clothes and things she would need.

"Yea, Vince was pulling shapes left and right. Salem putting us in the best lights possible." Howard said. At that moment, a brick flew through the window with one of the fliers for their bands concert taped to it.

"What the hell was that?" Naboo asked.

"Well, there may have been a few people who didn't quite understand what we were going for." Howard said, Vince nodding in agreement.

"It looks more like 500." Bollo said, peeking out the window.

"So, see you in a few days." Vince said, running to pack his things. The sounds of a riot were becoming louder as Salem came out of her room with a weeks worth of clothing and supplies.

"Better make it a week." Naboo yelled at the retreating men.

* * *

The car ride was a bit boring. The men argued back and forth over being 'white', causing Salem to roll her eyes at the jokes.

"If you ask me, you're both as white as a ghost." She interjected. They glanced back at her.

"What are you going on about? You're practically mayonnaise." Vince shot.

"At least I have a flavor." She shot back. Vince smiled at the witty girls come back and turned back around, while Howard let a smile creep across his face.

* * *

The trio arrived at a local fishermans pub. The music stopped playing the moment they walked in, making an awkward silence cover the area. The bar keep placed a coin in a box, turning the crank making the music and merriment return to the pub.

Salem looked around as the men went to order a drink, and maybe some food. Spotting an older man, she cautiously approached him.

"Excuse me, sir." She said, catching the mans attention immediately. He roamed his eyes over her quickly.

"Aye, lass. How may I help ye?" He said smiling. She smiled back. The man gestured for her to sit down and she complied.

"I was wandering if there was any kind of lore around these parts. I'm traveling with some companions of mine, who have a knack for getting into trouble." She said politely.

The man nodded and took a drink of what appeared to be meal worms. Salem inwardly cringed, but kept a straight and smiling face, trying to charm the older man into revealing the information she wanted.

"Aye, lass. There be several legends from around these parts, but the most dangerous of them, is Ol' Gregg." He said, taking another swig of his drink.

"Would you care to fill me in?" She asked sweetly. The man eyed her once more before nodding.

"Aye." He replied, spinning the tale of the half man, half fish, maybe a 70/30 mixed creature, that only came out during a full moon in black lake. He told her of the rumors about the legend, as well as some stories he had heard. Salem listened with interest.

"Thank you, sir. Here, buy another drink on me." She said, placing some money on the table and leaving.

Salem scanned the pub for her friends, finding them sitting at a table talking to another sailor.

"... Black lake. The wind in your hair, you and your lady friend can have yourselves a good time." She caught the end of the mans description of the lake.

"Gentlemen" She greeted, walking up to her friends and taking a seat between them. The men smiled in greeting at her.

"How do you like fishing, Salem?" Howard asked. Salem internally groaned.

"I don't mind fishing, but I was just told by a nice older fisherman that-" She started.

"Great, let's go then." Howard said, he and Vince standing and leaving. She sighed and followed the pair out the door.

* * *

The trio sat in the boat with their lines cast over the side. Salem sat between the two men. Listening as Howard talked about not catching a fish for the first 3 months when he had first started. Vince was catching them left and right, Howard growing frustrated.

"You know what the problem is Howard?" Vince asked.

"No, what?" Howard replied.

"You're too white. The fish, they know you're white, that's why they won't bite." Vince said, poking fun at Howard. Salem rolled her eyes, knowing where this was going.

The men started arguing, ending the fight with Howard throwing a blow up dingy at Vince. Vince began to blow it up. Salem took pity on him.

"Here, I'll help you." She said, taking the raft from him and inhaling deeply. She blew for 40 minutes on one breath.

"Wow..." was all the men could muster out of their mouths.

"Isn't there a foot pump or anything?" Vince asked.

"Oh, yea. Here." Howard said, handing the pump to Vince.

* * *

Salem chose to stay with Howard, knowing Vince would make it back safely by leaving when he did.

"So, Salem. Do you like fishing?" He asked. She smiled and nodded.

"Yes, though I'm not use to these poles." She said, staring at the strange tool she held before her.

"Oh?" He asked.

"Yea, I was raised by animals. I'm use to catching them with my hands, or using a sharp stick to impale them." She said with a wide smile. Howard paled at the mental image of her, impaling a fish with a stick. A nervous laugh left his throat. She smiled at him.

"This is a nice trip, Howard. It's calming, in a strange sort of way." She said, staring out upon the lake. Howard took this moment to take a mental photograph of her silhouette in the moonlight and the reflections off the water. His thoughts were interrupted when a thick fog suddenly appeared, with a tug on his line.

Salem got behind him and started helping him pull in what they thought would be a fish. A strange, scaly green man appeared in the boat. He had bright red lips, and seaweed for hair. He wore a white jacket and a pink tulle mini skirt.

"What are you doing on my lake?" He asked. Howard pushed Salem back further behind him.

"Just enjoying the night." Howard said. Howard tried to be brave as the strange man began questioning them on their life styles. Something about going to a club where they relieved themselves on other people and how he was going to hurt them, but liked them.

"He's Old Gregg." Salem said into Howards ear. That's when the man stood up.

I'm Old Gregg!" He screamed lifting the pink skirt and flashing the pair, with a blinding light they passed out.

* * *

Vince walked into the pub, carrying the fish that had thrown themselves at him. They listened to his tale.

"It was dark, the moon was full. I was out fishing on black lake..." Vince started, when the pub went silent.

"You should never go out on black lake during a full moon." One of the fishermen said, beginning the tale of Old Gregg. Vinces' face took on a look of shock and worry. Excusing himself, he went to the telephone and called Naboo.

He talked quietly to Naboo about how the trip was going. Naboo kept asking if something was wrong, or what Vince needed. Just as Naboo was about to hang up, Vince confessed to Howard and Salem being in trouble with the fish man.

"Alright, stay where you are, and We'll be there in about half an hour." Naboo said.

"Alright, thanks Naboo, you're a diamond." Vince answered hanging up the phone.

* * *

Salem and Howard awoke in a cave, tied up.

"Who are you?" Howard asked.

"I'm Old Gregg." Old Gregg answered.

"What do you want?" Howard asked. The answer coming back inaudibly.

"Where are we?" Howard asked. Old Gregg appeared from behind a rock.

"Greggs' place." He said. The pair stood up as Old Gregg began bouncing around the cave.

"You want some Baileys?" He offered to Howard, Salem continued to look for an escape route. Old Gregg began questioning Howard on love and how he felt about him.

"Do you think you could ever love me?" Old Gregg asked. Howard cringed with disgust, and began calling him desperate and pathetic. Old Gregg shrugged, pointing to an old boyfriend of his, mounted on the wall like a prized fish. Howard quickly back tracked on his comments, apologizing.

"Who's your lady friend?" Old Gregg asked.

"She's just an old friend from a while back." Howard said, noticing Old Gregg eying her with contempt.

"You think she's prettier than I am?" Old Gregg asked, Howard knew he had to be smart about this and shook his head.

"No." He replied, causing Old Gregg to smile.

* * *

Naboo had finally reached Vince, arriving in a submarine to go in search of the missing pair.

"Can you cut the smoking back, I can hardly breath in here." Vince complained. Naboo didn't pay attention.

"How are we even going to find them?" Vince asked.

"Captain Bollo's in charge of radar, what's it say Bollo?" Naboo asked. Bollo grunted as Vince walked over to the ape.

"It's not even on radar, he's playing pac man." Vince said.

"Oh, let me see it. Go left!" Naboo said walking over to his familiar, getting distracted by the game.

"Go for the cherries! The cherries!" Vince said, getting distracted as well.

* * *

Salem sat by a rock, peering out at the watery tunnel she had found. She looked behind her, seeing Old Gregg and Howard in a romantic candle lit dinner for two setting. She suppressed her laughter, turning her attention to the tunnel. She stood up and crept into the water as close to the passage as she could.

She took a deep breath an dove downward, swimming along the underground pathway. It took about ten minutes to swim through it and to the surface of the lake. Salem smiled, taking a breath and swimming back through it, a plan for escape forming in her head.

Salem surfaced in the cave and crept back over to the rock. She listened to the conversation the odd pair were having about the funk and marriage. Howard was desperate to get out of the cave, and reluctantly agreed to marry the fish man. Salem held back a laugh at how easily he was tricked and slowly crept over to Howards side of the table, hiding herself under the cloth as Old Gregg slipped a ring on Howards finger.

"Old Gregg's gonna pick me out a wedding dress!" The fish man exclaim happily, and ran off.

"Howard." Salem said, popping her head out from under the table.

"Salem, where have you been and why are you all wet?" He asked.

"I found a way out, but you'll need to find something to make an air pocket out of." She said, standing up. She eyed the plastic table cover and smiled. Working quickly she found the ropes that had restrained them both earlier and made a parachute like contraption.

"You are handy, aren't you?" Howard said in admiration, about to step into the water. A submarine appeared from the tunnel, the hatch opening to reveal Vince, Naboo and Bollo coming to their rescue.

The duo was happy to see them, Howard quickly grabbed the funk and ran into the submarine. Vince watched as Salem climbed in. Her clothes were soaked, and clung to her body tightly, her skin was going pale and clammy from the cool air of the cave.

"Why are you all wet?" Vince asked.

"You came here... Just as I had found a way to escape." She said lowly for only him to here, taking a dramatic pause to mess with the man she had found herself becoming attracted to.

She smiled as Vinces' face turned red at the statement. Vince wrapped her in a towel they had aboard the ship and sat her down.

* * *

Salem ran the multi-colored lights, as the trio of men and gorilla played some funky music, all wearing some form of red. She danced to the music, like the crowd below her. She stopped, noticing the crowd of women, nearly throwing themselves at Vince. She found some of the women below quite beautiful, and looked over in the reflective surface of one of the mirror balls.

Examining herself closely, the insecurities of being a woman set in. She found herself cute, but no where near the blonde bombshells below her. She gave a sigh.

"I love him, so, I guess, I am ready to love him from a distance, as long as it makes him happy." She thought to herself smiling down at Vince as he looked up and gave her a wink. She smiled and winked back, a tinge of pink on her cheeks.


	14. Chapter 14: The Nightmare of Milky Joe

**Chapter Fourteen:**

 **The Nightmare of Milky Joe**

Salem sat on a chair, flipping through the pages of a fashion magazine, when Howard and Vince walked into the room. She looked over to their smiling faces.

"You two seem happy." She stated, smiling over at them.

"We're going to the states, to be on tv." Howard said. Salems' face dropped at the news, but smiled sadly at them.

"Yea, and after that, we will never return to this place again." Vince added. Salem stood, her heart sinking into her stomach.

"Well, I wish you both the best of luck." She said sadly, and walked into her room, shutting the door quietly, before huge crashing noises could be heard through her door.

Naboo and Bollo walked out of the hallway, looking at the smiling men.

"What's her problem?" Naboo asked, gesturing his head towards Salems room. A loud crash was heard, followed by silence and the muttering of curses.

"No idea. We just told her we were going to the states." Vince said, looking over at the girls door. Naboo threw his head back with a sigh, running his hand over his face.

"You shouldn't just spring things like that on her. She's been a bit unstable as of late." Naboo said exhausted, and sat down on the couch.

"Well we planned for her to go too." Howard said.

"Did you tell her that?" Bollo said, taking a seat next to Naboo.

"Shit." The men said hanging their heads.

* * *

The men gave Salem some space, before playing paper rock scissors, to see who would disturb the girl.

I won, you go." Howard said, nudging Vince towards the door. Vince hesitated to knock, looking back at Howard. Howard gestured for him to go ahead. Vince felt his knuckles rap on the door, turning to look at his friend, he noticed Howard had disappeared.

"Come in." Salems' voice rang, coming out muffled from the door. Vince stepped into the girls room, finding her sitting on her bed, looking through a photo album.

"What's that?" He asked, taking a seat next to her. She smiled sadly, and moved the album between them.

"It's pictures of all our adventures." She said, pointing out every situation the trio had found themselves in, as well as a few candid ones of their tight group.

"...I'm gonna miss you..." She said, looking up from the album and at Vince.

"See that's what I came in here for. I... I mean we wanted you to come with us, you know... to the states." Vince said, stuttering uncharacteristically. Salems face lit up in a brilliant smile.

"Really? You... you mean, you guys wanted to take me with you?" She asked. Vince nodded. The girl lept up and wrapped her arms around his neck, knocking him over and onto the floor, her hovering above him.

"This is so great! It'll be amazing!... Oh no, what do I wear. Shit, I have to pack!" She squealed, jumping off of the blushing man and running about her room looking through her possessions. Vince sat up and smiled at the sight.

"Well, I best be packing too." He said, standing up and reaching the door.

"Yea... Hey Vince?" She called to him. He turned to see one of her most dazzling smiles.

"Thanks." She said, turning back to her closet and began digging.

A while later, the trio started saying their good byes to Naboo and Bollo, before leaving to board the ship.

* * *

The men sat on the beach of an uninhabited island, arguing over Vince cutting the captains hair.

"Well, you shouldn't have done it while he was sleeping." Howard scolded.

"I cut your hair when your sleeping." Vince said.

"You do not, my hair doesn't grow very fast." Howard rebuked.

"What? You think your hair stays that length naturally?" Vince argued. Howard remained silent.

"I do my best work when your asleep, I go in there, lean you up against the pillows and go to town on you." Vince said in all innocence.

"You're a sick man, that's what you are." Howard batted.

"And what about Salems' hair, hmm? Do you go in and 'go to town' on her as well?" Howard asked, trying to ruffle Vince.

"No. Her hairs beautiful as it is. I can't find anything to do to it without ruining it." He said looking down.

"Speaking of, where is she?" Vince said, looking around, Howard copying him.

A wave crashed onto the beach, depositing a very wet red head onto it. Salem coughed, and sputtered, water splashed out of her mouth and onto the soft sand below her.

"Salem!" The duo shouted, running over to her. They knelt next to her, Howard rubbing and patting her back, while Vince gathered up her hair which had fallen out from the waves of water. Howard looked over and found their bags washed up on the beach. He ran to get them before the waves washed them back out to sea.

Vince pulled Salem up, helping her walk over to the clearing they had been in. She leaned against him, still dizzy from the expulsion of water from her lungs. Her breathing was heavy and her body was shaking as Vince sat her down on the sand, leaning her gently against a rock.

"Th-thanks, guys." She said, smiling shakily. The men nodded and sat down.

* * *

Several days had gone by for the trio. Howard had started writing about the days on various little notes, Vince working on his hair, while Salem explored the tiny island. There was no life, and the plants were hardly edible. Hunger was starting to set in, making Howard become delusional.

"You should offer yourself up to me." Howard ranted.

"Are you coming on to me?" Vince asked, backing up slowly.

"I'm a writer, you should offer yourself up to me. It would be the noble thing to do, just to insure that one of us lives on." Howard said, stalking closer to Vince.

"Are you sure you're not coming on to me?" Vince said, backing up into a tree. A man made entirely of food appeared out of no where.

"Hey, that guy's made of food, let's eat him instead." Vince tried to direct Howards attention away from him. The food man ran away jumping into the sea.

Salem emerged from the trees, appearing next to Vince.

"There's no one here but us now. Offer yourselves up to me." Howard began creeping closer.

"Why don't you offer yourself up to me? I'd be like eating bones. Why don't I go on and write something?" Vince tried to argue.

"Because you can't spell." Howard said.

"Think about it Vince, Salem and I could breed and populate this island..." Howard began rambling. Salem felt awkward at the very forward statement, looking back she saw coconuts on the tree, she backed up to it and began to climb. Vince had finally hit the tree with his back. Salem waited for Howard to get within range, aiming a coconut at his head she threw it. Howard dropped to the ground.

"Look, Howard. Coconuts." Vince said shaking the tree, causing Salem to fall. Luckily Vince saw her, and reached his arms out, catching her.

* * *

 _A/N: If you haven't seen this episode, this is where the hallucinations begin ..._

* * *

The trio sat in a circle, eating the sweet fruits.

"These taste like chocolates. The outsides not so much." Vince said. Salem shook her head, but didn't say anything. Howard began writing about time. She ignored the men as they began arguing and left them alone, opting to take a walk along the beach. The water was cool on her feet, as she took in the scenery surrounding her. The wide open sea, the bright blue sky, the beige color of the sand. The trees even seemed brighter and greener than any she had ever seen, it was like she was seeing the world in technicolor for the first time.

The sound of shouting wafted across the breeze and into her ears, making her turn around and head back towards the duo. She noticed there was a line drawn in the sand, each man on their own side.

"... All the trees are on my side." Vince yelled.

"I'm re drawing the line." Howard said, noticing Vince was right. Salem let out a sigh.

"Whose side are you on?" They both asked, looking at the girl.

"I'm Switzerland!" She yelled, throwing her hands up in the air and sitting on the line. Vince staring at her confused, while Howard allowed himself to chuckle under his breath.

* * *

Salem had gone to both sides of the island, gathering supplies to keep them all alive. She fashioned herself a pair of shorts and a halter top out of some of the large leaves and small vines around the island. She made a small hut from bamboo closer to the beachy area, but still in the middle of Vince and Howard. She dug herself a fire pit, and had already gathered some drying and dead brush to keep it going.

After completing her mental check list, she stepped outside the small back entrance. She looked around, Vince had made his hut look nice, with flowers and various other plant life. Howards looked more primitive, with what looked like washed up metal and stone with some petrified wood elements.

Howard sat outside his hut, talking to a coconut on a stick, dressed in a striped garment. A face crudely drawn on the coconut. Salem shook her head.

"This can't end well..." She thought looking up. She walked along the line, which now had a fence being constructed by Vince, and greeted the lonely looking man and coconut.

"Hello Howard." She said sweetly.

"Ah, Salem. Come over and sit for a while would you?" Howard offered. She smiled and sat down on the ground.

"Salem, I want you to meet Milky Joe. He's another intellectual, we were just discussing the jazz movements of the 30s, any input on that?" Howard asked.

"I've already told you, Howard, that I love all forms of music. I can't rightfully favor one over the other." She said smiling. Her love of music causing a twinkle in her eyes. Vince walked out and around his house, watering various plants.

Salem stood up, excusing herself from the man and coconut, and walked over to the fence.

"Hello, Vince." She said smiling at him, he turned, returning the smile.

"Hello, Salem." He replied. His ears caught the sound of Howard talking, and looked around her.

"Who are you talking to?" Vince asked him. Salem knew this would break out into another argument, waving good bye she walked back into her hut, and began constructing a barrette out of bamboo and flowers that could be interchangeable.

* * *

Soft whispers could be heard a few yards away from her hut, as she opened the door and stepped out. Listening in, she overheard them talking about a new coconut girl named Ruby. Salem rolled her eyes and walked up to the pair.

"Hey guys, what seems to be the matter?" She asked. Howard rolled his eyes taking his leave while Vince smiled at her.

"Come in, I want you to meet someone." Vince said, leading her to the doorway of his hut.

"Salem, this is Ruby." He introduced. Salem smiled and waved at the coconut girl.

"Ruby, this is Salem." He finished the introduction.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ruby. I'm sorry for the interruption, I'll leave you two be." She said, turning to leave, Vince showing her out.

* * *

Salem watched from a window as Vince walked along with two coconut girls. She slammed her palm onto her face, running down to her chin. She watched as the two men conversed over trying to get Howard and the new girl, Precious, together. She sighed, watching them go on.

Salem soon became bored and went to talk to Milky Joe.

"I don't see this ending well at all." She confessed to the coconut man, who remained still.

"I know, I shouldn't think that way... but you haven't been around them as long as I have, no offense." She said.

"Jealous? No, never jealous. Envious, maybe, but nothing that I can't live with peacefully." She said.

"Make him jealous? Please, I'm almost certain that I have been friend zoned." She replied.

"You really think so Milky?" She asked the coconut man.

"You're too kind, sir." She replied to the silent man.

"...Now you're assuming a bit much of me." She said, looking slightly annoyed.

"Don't worry, I forgive you." She said flashing a smile at Milky.

Salem watched as Howard and Precious began going on dates, and as Vince and Ruby seemed to be exploring more intimate things with one another, as well as several other girl coconut people.

* * *

A light knock came at the door of Salems' hut. She got up from her cot and walked to the door, cracking it slightly.

"Salem, hey. You know, there's a party going on down at the beach, I... that is, Ruby and I would love it if you could come." Vince said. He had started to feel guilty for dating Ruby lately and it was cracking his normal fascade.

"Sure Vince. I'll come right now." She said, flashing him a bright smile that made his heart race once more.

"I'll be there in a bit, I've just got to go get Howard." Vince said. Salem nodded and made her way to the party. She stood in a corner, examining all the coconut people, not knowing what to do.

Vince appeared, giving a kiss to Ruby, making her heart sink just a bit more, as he walked about the gathering. She watched as he made flirty comments to some of the other lady coconuts, and shook her head.

"Great... I'm envious of coconuts now... what next? His microphone?" She thought, pinching the bridge of her nose. Not seeing Howard around, she began to worry. Seeing as Vince began to totally ignore her, she left towards Howards' hut.

She knocked on the door. Howard answered it, one of his eyes were black.

"What happened there?" She asked. Howard looked down and she automatically knew what had happened. She pushed her way inside, and past Howard.

"You bitch! You think you can just beat up on my Howard like that? I don't think so sister." Salem said, getting in the coconut womans face.

"Oh really? Come at me then!" She yelled, the coconut woman began to move, attacking Salem. Precious scratched as Salems' face, leaving a gash across her cheek. Howard saw that and had had enough. He grabbed Precious off of Salem and threw her to the ground. When Precious stopped moving, and coconut milk started draining from her head, Howard knew he had gone too far.

"Are you alright?" He asked, kneeling down to Salems' side. She nodded and leaned into his chest.

"Yes, Howard. I think so." She said, catching her breath. Howard held her close, taking in her scent despite himself.

"Roses and lavender." He thought to himself. He pulled back slightly, staring into her cosmic eyes. He felt his face getting closer to hers, breaths mingling together in a strange symphony. He placed his lips lightly upon hers before both pulled back.

"That was... like..." She started.

"... Kissing my... Grandmother..." Howard finished the statement. Salem blanched then smiled up at him. Both stood up, having settled the question of their relationship. Howard looked over at the body of Precious, panic settling into his heart.

"You need to get out of here. I'll come and get Vince soon." Howard said, escorting Salem out the door. She nodded and went to walk on the beach in the direction she had gone off too.

She looked around and found some sand and mud, placing it around the scratch on her face to make it look as if she had fallen. She made her way back to the party, seeing Vince flirt with some more women and kissing on Ruby.

"Hey, you, where have you been?" He asked. Salem rolled her eyes.

"I went on a walk, seeing as how you were ignoring me." She replied, taking a drink from the small table and sipping it.

"I'm sorry alright. Ruby's a bit kinky though, and she likes to have other women too." Vince explained, looking her straight in the eye. He noticed the gash and immediately started to panic on the inside.

"What happened there?" He asked, pointing to the gash.

"I tripped and fell on a small rock on the way back. I was going to go clean it off when I went back home." She said, looking away from him. He stepped closer to her.

"You're a horrible liar." He whispered in her ear. She shivered at the close proximity of his face.

"You'll get the truth soon enough." She whispered back, making him shiver this time. She backed away from him, and walked over to Milky Joe.

"Yea, I tripped and cut it on a rock. Would you mind coming and helping me bandage it?" She asked the man, escorting him to her hut.

Howard walked up to Vince, insisting that he come with him for a moment. Vince followed Howard to his hut, and walked through the door.

"What happened?" Vince asked.

"Salem came over and confronted her about my black eye. Precious attacked her viciously. When I came out of the stupor it put me in, I pulled Precious off of Salem. She must have fallen over when I told Salem to leave" Howard said. Vince, now knowing the truth, knew why Salem had refused to tell the truth.

"Well, it doesn't matter now. We've got to get rid of the body." Vince said. The duo picked the coconut corpse up and walked along the shadows, burying it deep under the ground.

* * *

Vince pulled up in a car made of twigs and honked. Howard came out of his hut. Vince smiled and waved. Howard got in the car as they walked to Salems' hut.

"So, you and Salem eh?" Vince tried to tease, hiding the jealousy that was starting to form.

"If you must know... no. We discovered that we share a sibling like bond." Howard said, looking out the window. Vince inwardly cheered, pulling up to the hut. Salem was sitting outside, relaxing in the breeze.

"Hey, Salem!" Vince yelled. She looked back at the pair and smiled. She walked up to the car and got in. The sirens sounded off behind them. Vince drove as fast as he could only to end up crashing into a tree.

* * *

The trio sat in a court room. The accusations of murdering Precious being thrown at them. Howard thought he had and ace in the hole, but Milky Joe turned on him, throwing even more accusations at him, Vince and her. They were found guilty.

Their heads sat on pegs as a coconut person version of Hitcher called the people to pay him 1 Euro to throw a ball at them. Their heads fell as the trio screamed.

* * *

 _End Hallucinations_

* * *

Cold water splashed against their fevered skin.

"What was that for?" Vnce asked. A sailor stood above the trio with a bucket in his hands.

"It looked like you were having a coco nightmare. You've been eating rancid coconuts, makes you go coco- loco. The boats here to take you back." He said, motioning a small circle next to his head with his finger, then leading them to the boat.

* * *

The trio entered Naboos' shop and trudged up the stairs with the little bit of luggage they had. Salem went into her room to set things down first, before flopping into her comfy chair.

"I thought you guys were going to be gone for good?" Naboo asked.

"We're not." The two men said in unison. The tv went to a random show, Bob Fossil hosting it and making very awkward shapes.

"... You love him, I love him and my wife loves him, a little too much if you know what I mean. It's Milky Joe and the coconuts!" Fossil announced on the tv. The trio screamed in horror, Salem diving behind the couch in fear.


	15. Chapter 15: Eels

**Chapter Fifteen:**

 **Eels**

Salem sat behind the counter of Nabootique, polishing mystical stones and waiting for a customer. She looked up from her work to see Vince reading a magazine. She smiled sadly to herself and continued cleaning the shop.

Howard walked into the shop, carrying a bucket and some soap.

"Where have you been?" Vince asked.

"I've been cleaning off the filth on the blinds." Howard replied sounding annoyed.

"What filth?" Vince asked.

"The graffiti that has been getting left there every night for the past week." Salem said, walking around the counter.

"It always says something about Howard licking balls for spare change or something to that affect." She explained, taking the cleaning supplies from Howard and putting them away.

Naboo walked in with Bollo, immediately starting to give Howard a hard time about advertising his business someplace else. Salem held back her laughter from the battle of wits that was taking place, and paid attention as Naboo put them in charge of the shop while he and Bollo went on a holiday.

* * *

The trio waved good bye to Naboo and Bollo as the many Shamen took off. Retreating back inside, Salem began to work on keeping the store presentable. She listened as Vince and Howard argued over sales.

"...Salem and I been tagging celebrities, like birds..." Vince babbled on about his invention made for telling people where their favorite celebrities were. Howard arguing back with him over his elbow patches.

"You know, I can out sell the both of you, and make Naboo money." She said, already feeling the challenge between the two coming on.

"Oh yea? And how's that?" They asked. Salem smiled and held a finger over her lips winking.

"That's a secret only I know. You'll just have to watch and learn. So, is it a bet?" She said.

"5 Euros each from the losers." Howard said.

"You're on." Vince replied, the trio shaking hands.

* * *

It was near closing time as two incredibly long lines led into Nabootique. One line for celebrities for Vince, and the other line for various little charms from Salem. Vince watched as the men and women flocked to Salems' register.

She leaned over the counter, her breasts, framed by a red halter top, placed just on top of the glass, as she explained a certain charm to a drooling young gentleman. Tight, dark wash, tattered jeans adorned her legs and hugged her at her hips, tucked into black, mid calf healed boots. A silver studded belt help keeping the pants in place. Vince took notice of her matching accessories.

The top earrings were a double cherry design stud, the bottoms were of the same charm, but dangled. Her necklace was a silver chain with the same charm hanging just above her cleavage, and a black beaded bracelet held the same charm as the rest of her jewels. She had made sure her make up brought out all her features, lips painted red, eyes lined perfectly, making them seem bigger.

She glanced over at Vince and smiled and he felt the breath taken out of him. She finished with another customer as Howard began shooing everyone away for closing time, not having made anything, but a phone number for a bigger woman.

"How much did you make?" Vince asked.

"Nothing, and you?" Howard said

"I made 3,000 Euros." Vince said, Salem laughed, holding up and even bigger roll of money.

"That's chump change. I made at least 7,000 Euros in just this past hour." She said smirking. The mens jaws dropped as she collected the rest of her winnings and made her way up the stairs to get ready for the night, leaving them in a stupor.

* * *

Vince had gone out for a bit, as Howard began cleaning up the shop. Salem walked down, having changed her shoes for black flats, and the red top for a simple lavender one. An elbow length cropped coat over her shoulders. She smiled and began helping him.

The door flew open as a dark figure made its way into the shop. Salem turned to greet it while Howard tried to run it off. Howard turned around as the figure came into the light. Salem shrank back, seeing the green skinned Hitcher.

Hitcher rambled on about eels, and wanting to bum Howard, before pissing on Howards face and turning his attention to Salem.

"Well, you're a fine one aren't you? Let's have a look." Hitcher said, grabbing Salems' arm and dragging her around the counter. He spun her around, examining her figure.

"Yes, a fine one indeed. If I wasn't a gentleman, I'd have you over the counter, under the tables, on the floors and all the walls over and over again." He said. Salem blushed, and freed herself gently.

"Why haven't you had a go at her?" Hitcher asked, turning his attention back to Howard. Howard shook his head.

"She's more like a sister-" He tried to explain.

"Sister! I'd be going incestuous for her!" Hitcher said, letting one of his hands reach down and rub himself through his pants.

"What business do you have here?" Howard asked, trying to get out of the awkward situation. The Hitcher started his story of being an orphan and being fed eels by a nice lady who use to own the building.

Hitcher broke off the key protector on the piano and began playing the song he use to sing about eels as a kid. The duo watched as a tiny dancer popped out of Hitchers' hat.

"Why don't you dance with her Howard?" Hitcher said. Howard stood there in a trance, Salem waving her hand around his eyes and snapping.

"Now it's just us, love." Hitcher said, approaching the girl and grabbing her, taking her into the middle of the floor and positioning them for a waltz. Hitcher moved with her gracefully across the floor, while the piano magically played a tune.

Howard snapped out of his daze with a scream, causing Hitcher to release his hold on Salem and twirl her towards Howard. Howard pushed her behind him, while the hitcher got close to them, stating how he would protect them for 1,000 Euros.

"Salem, do you still have your money." He asked. The girl shook her head.

"It's not pay day yet, and Naboo has to authorize several things before I'm allowed to take money." She said. Howard went back into a trance, muttering about eels over and over again.

* * *

Vince walked through the door, seeing Howard standing in his trance and Salem trying desperately to get ahold of Naboo. He broke Howard out of his trance.

"Vince, do you still have your money from this evening?" Howard asked.

"No, I spent it all." Vince replied.

"It was 3,000 Euros. What could you have possibly spent it on?" Howard asked in disbelief. Salem looked at the new ring Vince held up.

"We're doomed. We need to leave town." Howard said. Salem ignored the babbling of the pair and tried to call Naboo once more.

"Well, call Naboo... See if he can help." Vince suggested.

"I've tried, there's no answer. And Salem has been trying for hours now." Howard said, motioning to Salem hanging up the phone again, a defeated look on her face.

"Let me try and call." Vince said. Vince picked up the phone and dialed. No answer came. The men started arguing over running away or staying and fighting, while Salem started thinking of other ways to get the money.

"How are we going to get that much money in a matter of hours?" Howard asked. Salem approached the pair, holding a small card in her hands.

"There is one way..." She said, handing the card to Howard.

"No, no, definitely not." Howard replied.

* * *

The trio stood on the dock, in a more shady part of town. Vince went over the plan of a fake mugging once again.

"Get the money up front." He told Howard.

"This better go perfect." He retorted. Salem and Vince hid in the shadows around the corner. They heard the woman approach Howard. The woman began talking dirty to Howard and Salem covered her ears. Vince looked over and tapped her on the shoulder.

"There's no way you haven't heard things like that before." Vince said.

"Well, yes, but it's a bit different when you hear it said to someone who's like family to you." She said with a smile. Vince smiled back as she plugged her ears once more.

"Ok, I've got the money." Howard said, panic evident in his voice. Vince had snuck off to tag one of the more popular celebrities, while Salem had her ears covered still.

* * *

"There, we got the money." Howard said, spreading the money across the counter top. Hitcher walked into the shop.

"Do I need to get my eels out again?" He asked.

"No,no. We've got your 1,000 Euros right here." Howard said nervously. Hitcher gave a creepy smile, and began to eye Salem up and down once again. Vince watched the green mans eyes, and pushed her behind him gently.

"And you? How about another dance?" Hitcher asked her.

"No, thank you." She said, shaking her head. Hitcher flew off the handle at that, going on about killing them all anyway, when the lady from earlier showed up in the doorway with a gun. She fired it at Hitcher, dropping him to the ground and inviting Howard to run away with her. Howard told her he would catch up with her later.

The woman waved good bye and left. Hitcher stood back onto his feet, digging out a flint infused elbow patch that had stopped the bullet from killing him.

"You saved my life." Hitcher said, with gratitude. He told them he would let them all live, and started rambling about how they probably weren't interested in the same things he was.

"Is it really that dark?" Howard asked, making Hitcher turn around.

"Yea, you could hang out with us sometime. We'd make one hell of a team." Vince continued.

"Play that song about eels from earlier." Salem said. Hitcher sat down and began to play, the trio showing up with random instruments. They all began to play a mix of old and new together.

* * *

Vince was grabbing his bag, talking about going to a ski lodge with one of his friends, Naboo and Bollo arriving back shortly before. He wasn't paying attention and grabbed the bag from the bottom, spilling out several cans of spray paint.

"You little shit." Howard said, looking at the paint.

"It's not what you think." Vince tried to explain, but took off running from the enraged man. Salem laughed at the sight as they ran out of the shop.

"Weren't you the one tagging the store front?" Naboo asked her. She nodded still laughing. Naboo gave a chuckle while shaking his head.


	16. Chapter 16:Journey to the Center of Punk

**Chapter Sixteen:**

 **Journey to the Center of Punk**

Salem was helping Howard organize the shop when Vince came down the stairs, dressed as a punk and a man in a hazard suit walked in with a package. Salem gave a sigh as Vince talked about being angry at the world, and taking it out on everything. Howard picking on him for changing styles many times over.

"I don't know Howard, I think it's good for people to change it up a bit. You get to have a better understanding of the human race by reinventing yourself." Salem said. Howard rolled his eyes while Vince smiled and pulled out a dirty safety pin.

"... This thing has so many street diseases on it... bet you would freak out if I just came at you with this." Vince said, jabbing it playfully at Howard. Salem shook her head and smiled, leaning against the counter reading a magazine.

"... I'm going to be lead singer... in like, 5 minutes." She over heard Vince say.

"Three, two, one, and-" She mentally counted down.

"Hey Salem. Would you care to help me out with the lights show?" Vince asked, leaning against the counter across from her.

"Tell him no, tell him no. Just look him in the eyes and-" She mentally told herself, looking up at Vinces' big blue eyes.

"Sure." She answered smiling, losing all of her resolve.

"...Bitch..." She scolded herself.

A group of punk boys walked in, greeting Vince with a head but.

"Guys, this is Salem, she's the best light worker I know." Vince introduced. Salem smiled at the man who had head butted Vince and walked up to him. She slammed her forehead into his, causing the man to fall to the floor for a moment.

"It's nice to meet you." She said, smirking internally. The punks looked her over and nodded, going about the store, some destroying some things, others picking a fight with Howard. Salem let out a breath and looked over at Vince.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" She asked quietly.

"Of course, I'm punk now." He said, slinging an arm over her shoulders. Salem caught site of the vinyl that Howard had spent a fair amount of money on and gasped. The other punk men were throwing it around the store. Vince catching it.

"Bite it!" They chanted.

"Don't you dare, Vince." Salem said. The punks held Howard back, as Vince hesitated but eventually bit into it and dropped it to the floor. Salem shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose.

* * *

Salem ran the lights reluctantly, she had offered to help Howard, but he had told her it was useless for her to try and that it would take a specialist. She sighed, watching as Vince practically seduced the girls in the front. His lips practically kissing the microphone.

"And now... envious of his microphone...What am I doing to myself?" She thought, knowing that the odds of ever having him to herself alone were slim to none.

"Maybe you could share?" Her mind kicked in.

"Hell, F***ing, No. It's all of each other or none of each other. I refuse to have him sharing himself with anyone else, while he has all of me..." She mentally argued.

"Isn't that how it is now?" Her mind countered.

"No... He has a great deal of me, but not it all. He would have to share the same feelings for it to be all..." She thought, leaning her head on the catwalk railing.

She stared down at the stage, noticing Vince backing up. She knew then, that something was wrong. Vince began twitching and singing scat. The punk band went silent. The crowd throwing things at Vince and the band. The other members ran him backstage, with Salem taking off down the stairs, running into Naboo and Bollo.

The Shaman lead them to the preparation room backstage, where the punks were threatening Vince, and began threatening him and Salem.

"What are you gonna do about it?" One of them said.

"Nothing, but have you met my friend Bollo?" Naboo said snapping. Bollo charged in screaming, then pulling out his inhaler to stop his asthma.

"Quick Bollo, Grab him!" Naboo exclaimed. Bollo grabbed Vince and the group ran back to the shop as quickly as possible. Bollo placed Vince on the counter. Salem took off her coat and folded it up, placing it under his head.

"He's speaking Scat." Howard said, listening to Naboo, who was explaining everything that had just transpired. Howard began speaking it back to Vince. Salem looked down at Vince worriedly, stroking his hair away from his face.

"He said, he swallowed the missing piece of my record." Howard said.

"He's allergic to jazz. He'll die if the Virus isn't destroyed." Naboo said.

"How do would we do that?" Howard asked.

"Well, first you would have to be shrunk down to a molecular level, in a submarine, then have to be injected into the bloodstream. It would take someone who knows Vince inside and out, as well as an encyclopedic knowledge of jazz." Naboo said.

"I can't do it." Howard said.

"Then I'll do it." Salem said.

"Are you crazy? It's suicide." Howard said. The record specialist, Mr. Coldcreek, sat in his portable rocker.

"Let's do it." He said.

"Salem, it's too dangerous! You could be killed." Howard said, trying to reason with the woman.

"Then so be it, Howard. If there's even a chance for him to live, whether it be the end of me or not, then I'll do everything I can do to give him that chance." She said. Naboo handed her a scuba suit.

"Why would she do such a thing?" Howard sighed and walked over to Naboo, taking a scuba suit as well.

"The answers easy Howard. She's in love with him." Naboo said.

* * *

Mr. Coldcreek sat in his rocker, Howard sat at the controls and Salem sat near the back of the submarine, her head hanging low. Naboo hit the buttons and shrunk them.

"Head towards the brain." He said.

"Talk a bit softer." Howard said.

"Oh, right. Sorry. Head for the brain. That's where the Virus will be going." Naboo whispered, injecting the odd trio into Vinces arm. Salem looked out the window at Vinces blood cells, while Howard searched for the virus. They were stopped by a group of white cells. The men in front of her talked, while she readied her gear, making a few last minute adjustments.

Howard and Salem left the submarine, swimming towards the wall of white cells. Salem listened as Howard tried to reason with the cells.

"Please let us through, as Howard said, Vince will die if we don't stop the virus." She begged, while Howard told Mr. Coldcreek to let them back in. The submarine shot backwards.

"Salem, is that you?" One of the cells spoke.

"Yes, it's me. We're trying to help." She said.

"Well, why didn't you say so. You're always welcome here." It said. The other cells began questioning who Howard was.

"I'm Howard moon. Vinces' best friend." He said. Salem sighed at the small argument going on between the cells and Howard.

"Alright, let's take them to the brain." Another cell spoke.

* * *

"This is as far as we can go, but it's the optic nerve. It'll take you straight to the brain." On of the cells spoke, before they all swam away. The duo entered the nerve and began walking. Removing their masks, they entered what looked like an lobby.

"Hello, I'm Howard Moon and I need to see the brain." Howard said. The secretary looked up at him.

"Do you have an appointment?" She asked.

"No, but it's imperative that-" Howard began.

"I'm sorry, but I can get you one in January." She said. Salem sighed, having had enough nonsense for one day and walked past her desk.

"Security... Security to the brain please." The secretary called over the phone. Salem kicked down the door, Howard in tow and approached the brain cell.

Howard took over, trying to reason with the brain cell while she kept watch over the door. The brain cell making things a bit more difficult.

"Listen closely. I'm only going to say this once. There's a virus coming here to kill you, and when it does, all that is Vince, will be no more." Howard said. The cell sat down, shock and panic taking it over.

The secretary came over the phone, Howard telling her two minutes, knowing it was the jazz virus. Salem pushed the cell into a closet, Howard finding a hat like the cells head, sat in the middle of the room in the chair.

The virus burst into the room, ranting about how he was going to take over. Howard turned in the chair, trying to be smooth about shooting the virus, only to discover that he had the wrong container. Salem smacked her forehead with her palm. The virus noticed the girl, eying her up and down.

"Well now, what have we here?" He said, licking his lips. Howard and Salem shared a look and ran throughout the lobby and into the optic nerve, the virus chasing after them. Luckily for them, the submarine was waiting for them. Howard and Salem led the virus into the submarine locking it in the bottom section.

Salem climbed the ladder, grabbing the gun and ignoring Mr. Coldcreek and throwing it down to Howard.

* * *

"Where are they? They only have 10 seconds before they get big again." Naboo said, checking the many machines and Vince.

"Here they are. In the tear duct. We can get them out but we need to make Vince cry." Naboo said.

"Vince, Jagger has a bald spot." Bollo tried. Vince started to sniffle. Bollo tried again, and Vince started to tear up.

"Vince, Salem is going to die." Naboo said on a hunch, Vince began to scream and cry. Naboo took the syringe and sucked out the tear with the micro-submarine.

"... I feel weird." Vince said, blinking his eyes, rolling his head to the side just in time to see the submarine return to its original size.

The small group of people made an exit, along with the virus that was seen after the submarine disappeared.

"Howard what have you done?" Naboo said. Howard tried to explain how they were related, with the virus confessing to it all being a lie. The punks pushed through the door, all coming after Vince. Salem placed herself in front of him, while the virus wrapped them in his tentacles one by one, killing them all. Vince grabbed his safety pin and ripped it off his jacket.

"Howard, here, stab him with this." Vince said, throwing the pin to Howard. Howard missed it, the pin being caught by the blind elder instead. Howard took the pin and stabbed the virus. The virus stumbled back.

"That really hurt me." He said, continuing to stumble before dropping dead in the doorway. Salem let out a sigh of relief, turning to see a pale Vince.

"You idiot..." She said. A sad, but relieved smile crossed her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed. He returned the gesture and smiled into her hair.

"... don't ever scare me like that again." She said with a sniffle. She released her hold on him and backed away, heading up the stairs.

"What's her problem?" Vince asked. The other men ignored his question, figuring it was better for him to come to realize it on his own.


	17. Chapter 17: The Power of the Crimp

**Chapter Seventeen:**

 **The Power of the Crimp**

Salem swept the floor of Nabootique, while Howard tended to some of the inventory. Vince walked in, it seemed like a dark cloud was hanging over his head.

"Vince, What's the matter?" She asked.

"What's your excuse this time, Vince?" Howard said, listing all the excuses Vince had come up with for being late for work. Salem shot him a dirty look.

"I had some things to do, alright?" Vince said. Salem put the broom away, and knelt beside him, worry written all over her face.

"What's going on?" She asked. Vince looked over at her, doing his best to smile at her.

"Like what?" Howard asked, finally catching the mood.

"I went to the doctor today, and I got some bad news." Vince said. Howard walked up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Salem grasped his hand in hers, giving a squeeze for reassurance.

"Oh god. Vince what is it? It's us all the way." Howard said, Salem nodding in agreement.

"Someone's copying me." Vince said. Howard threw water in his face while Salem looked at him confused.

"That's it? I thought something was seriously wrong with you." Howard said, starting an argument. Salem sighed and stood up.

"Well, THIS is going to be a long week." She thought, going back to her normal duties. Listening as Vince showed Howard the pictures of someone named 'Lance Doir', and about Vince getting a copyright on his face.

"Vince, it'll be ok. You can just find a new style." Salem tried to comfort.

"Why should I have to change, I've been rockin' this style since birth. Check out my scan." Vince said, holding up a picture of him in his mother, dressed in '80's glam rock fashion.

"Well, I would take it in a different sense then you are. If someone were copying me, I'd be flattered." She said.

"Yea, well they probably wouldn't be trying to steal your life to get ahead either." Vince argued.

"You have a point." She said shrugging.

"Will this make you happy Vince?" Howard said, opening a closet door, revealing Gary Numan.

"Hey Vince." Gary said.

"Hey Gary." Vince replied. Howard shut the door seeing the depressed face Vince still had and went for plan B. Salem watched as Howard gave him a tribal hat, with various lengths and colors of feathers. She looked out the window and saw the copy cat, Howard and Vince spotted him at the same time. Howard pushed Vince and Salem up the stairs to keep Vince calm and contained.

"Vince?" She said, making the man turn and face her. She smiled up at him.

"For what it may be worth, I don't believe that anyone could replace you in my eyes." She said, a small blush crept onto her cheeks. Vince smiled down at her wrapping her in his arms.

"It means more than you know Salem." He said, kissing the top of her head, making her face match the color of her hair. They heard the impostor leave the shop and walked back down the stairs.

"What was all that about?" Vince asked, starting a fight that was quickly resolved. Howard began singing about how what was inside counted more. Vince stood there creeped out, he glanced over at Salem. She was beautiful, inside and out. She was awe inspiring, and simple in a complex way. She was a walking contradiction in a sense, and he knew he was falling for her and hard.

"Say something to her you idiot." His brain tried to reason.

"What could I say that she hasn't heard already?" He argued with himself. Howard finishing the song at that moment. The men began talking about the song and trying their best when Lance showed up again.

"So, Howard, have you thought about my offer?" He asked.

"Yes, and I'm afraid I have to turn it down." Howard said, trying to get the impostor to leave.

"Well, that's fine, I found someone else anyway." Lance said, gesturing to the doorway. Salem held in her laughter at the sight of the impostors.

"I couldn't find anyone that looked like her..." Lance said, eying Salem. Vince shielded her from his view.

"And you never will." He said, starting another argument between the pairs of men. She sighed and leaned on Vinces' back, taking in the sweet and spicy smell of his cologne and hair products. The men finished arguing, bringing her out of her cloud.

Vince had gone to the Velvet Onion to straighten things out with Fossil, leaving Salem and Howard to tend to the shop.

"Why don't you just tell him, Salem?" Howard asked her out of nowhere. She kept cleaning the glass on the display cases.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Howard." She said, moving to the next case.

"I think you do know. Now spill it. Why won't you just tell him how you feel?" Howard asked again. She sighed, looking up at the man.

"Because..." She said, not wanting to swallow her pride.

"Because why?" Howard pushed her.

"Because I'm scared to Howard! I'm scared of giving him my all and not receiving the same back from him, IF he even feels the same way. I'm miserably happy to love him from a distance, as long as he stays who he is and keeps that sunshiney personality about him." She confessed to him. Howard nodded his head in understanding, having known the freedom Vince had with himself and women.

"I understand that, Salem. I really do, but if you don't tell him, there's no room for him to prove he can change with love." He told her. She smiled up at him with a small tear in her eye.

"You're right. I'll try and tell him soon then... Now, can we change the subject?" She asked, hiding her blush with her hair.

* * *

Vince sat in Fossils' office, getting to the bottom as to why they were no longer the main act. Fossil couldn't promise anything bigger than one of the support act slot. Vince was discouraged and left the office.

* * *

Vince walked through the door, spotting Salem on the floor cleaning the displays, her face as red as her hair. The embarrassed look on her face was adorable, and desirable all in one. She looked his way and smiled up at him. Her eyes looked red and puffy, causing him to be concerned.

"Is everything alright?" Vince asked, she nodded and sniffled a little bit.

"Yea, we were talking about something personal, and I got a little emotional is all." She said, standing up. Vince walked closer to her, their cheeks brushed as his lips moved to her ear.

"You can tell me anything, you know that, right?" He asked, whispering in her ear and wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer in an embrace.

"I know Vince. It's something that scares me to death." She confessed. He pulled back to look into her eyes.

"What is it, Salem?" He asked, searching her cosmic orbs for any hints.

"Vince, I... I've wanted to tell you that-" She started, but was interrupted by the door coming open.

"...Fuck...My... Luck..." She thought, releasing Vinces' shirt, not realizing she was clutching onto it.

* * *

Vince and Howard were practicing their act, before the impostors walked through the door, despite the sign saying it was closed.

"The sign says we're closed, now leave." Howard said.

"We hope you're supporting us." Lance said.

"It won't be for long." Vince replied.

"I hope you're not planning on pulling this nonsense at the club tonight." Lance shot back, eying their costumes.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Howard asked.

"Haven't you heard? No one cares about the future, it's all about the retro, the past." Lance lied. Salem walked down the stairs and into the room, wearing light, tattered flare jeans, a white and shimmering tank top, matching light denim crop jacket with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of white, shimmering flats. Her hair put up in the normal style, with her cherry charms for accessories and make up done lightly.

"Hey, sweets, why don't you ditch these losers and come hang with us for a while? What do you say?" Lance asked, approaching her and leaning against the wall.

"I'm afraid, I'll have to pass." She said, grabbing her cherry blossom bag and shrugging it on to her shoulder.

"Aw, why not? We could make all you're dreams come true." He said, trying to be smooth.

"I told you, I'm not interested. Now, excuse me. I have to be somewhere." She said, pushing past him and stopping at Vince and Howard. She dug into her bag, pulling out two slips of paper.

"Here, It's alright if you don't come, but if you think you might be interested it starts at 8. These will get you to where I'll be." She said, handing a slip each to the men. She pulled her bag back and took off, out of the door.

"You figure it out." Lance said, walking out of the store with his companion.

"Retro-lution?" Howard asked, looking at the pass Salem had given him.

"It's a retro club, just about a block or so away from The Velvet Onion." Vince said, also looking at his pass.

"The one with all the bright colors and different music playing every night?" Howard asked. Vince nodded.

"It's hard to get in there with any kind of music. The crowd controls who stays and who goes, but one thing doesn't add up." Vince said, staring hard at the pass.

"Oh? And what's that?" Howard asked, looking over at Vince. Vince looked over at him.

"How did Salem get back stage passes for the show?" Vince asked. Both men looked at the door where the girl had made her exit.

"Anyway, if retro is in at The Velvet Onion, then what are we going to do about our gig?" Vince asked, getting back on subject.

"Well, try on a few outfits, see what we can come up with." Howard said, trying to help Vince get out of his funk. Vince tried on several outfits.

"...Bollypop." Vince said, showing Howard another fashion. Howard shook his head.

"I don't know what to do then." Vince said.

"Maybe I should take the lead this time." Howard said.

"What?" Vince asked.

"Retro is from the past. And I'm from the past. If retro is in, then maybe we should..." Howard began, Vince started to tune him out, but was still willing to go with his plan.

* * *

Vince and Howard were on the stage, Vince banging on a drum and Howard playing an early version of a guitar. They finished their song, before things were thrown at them, and booed off the stage.

They began walking out, glancing at the stage as Lance and his companion had stolen their previous idea. Shaking their heads, they quickly changed, and walked out of the club.

"You know, It's only half past 7. We're in the neighborhood. Why don't we pop over and see what Salem's up to?" Howard said, looking for the always changing club. There was a line leading down the street and around the corner.

"At least we have passes." Vince said. The men pulled out their passes and walked up to the front of the line, hearing a few complaints. The bouncer at the door looked them over as they flashed their passes.

"Come with me." He said. He lead them inside and around to another security staff member, who then led them to back stage, knocking on one of the dressing room doors.

"Come in." A familiar voice called from the other side. The door opened and the staff member entered the room.

"Do you know these two?" He asked. Salem looked around him at her friends and smiled.

"Yes, I gave them passes after all." She said sweetly. The man nodded and let them into the room, shutting the door behind him.

"I'm so glad you were able to make it." She said smiling, walking up to them and hugging them tightly. The men smiled at her excitement.

"3 minutes Ms. Sterling." A voice came from the other side of the door.

"Be right there." She called, grabbing the mens hands.

"Keep your passes on you, and follow me." She said, leading them to the side of the stage. The crowd was roaring with excitement, as the announcer came on.

"And now, you all love her, you all need her and let's face it, there's a line outside STILL growing just to try and get a glimpse of her. She's the retro-lution leader, the one the only Salem Sterling!" The announcer said over the microphone. Salem smiled and released their hands, taking off onto the stage.

They watched as she waved to the wild crowd, the whole building chanting her name. She grabbed a guitar and stool and placed them to the side of her.

"Hello!" She said into the mic, giving a small wave and bright smile. The crowd went nuts. She turned to the band and gave a smile and a nod.

"1,2,1,2,3,4!" The drummer counted.

"Can't stay at home, can't stay in school, old folks say 'you poor little fool. Down the street I'm the girl next door. I am the fox you've been waiting for..." Salem began singing and and pulling shapes to 'Cherry bomb' by the Runaways.

Vince and Howard stood there in shock, jaws dropping open.

"Did you-" Howard started to ask.

"Had no idea..." Vince said, staring in aw as she shook and danced around the stage.

"Thank you! We're going to be taking you back through various genres of music tonight, so just stick around, and enjoy the show!" She said, giving a wink to the crowd, making some of them wolf whistle at her.

"We're taking it down a bit for a moment." She said, grabbing her guitar and sitting on the stool. She strummed a few chords before the rest of the band joined in with her.

"I remember, that I'd hear the clock tick and think of you. Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new..." She began singing. Howard and Vince looked out at the swaying crowd, all singing along with her. The song ended and she smiled, before an off sounding noise came across the speakers.

"Brass monkey, that funky monkey..." The male band members began singing the opening to 'Brass Monkey' by The Beastie Boys. Salem laughed.

"That's not on the list you guys!" She said into the mic. The crowd laughed and cheered as they kept playing the song. Salem sighed and grabbed the mic. Throwing her jacket to the side, she grabbed the guitarists' ball cap and put it on backwards, squatting down on the stage she began rapping, holding her hand out to the crowd.

Howard and Vince felt their jaws hit the floor at the sight. They had never known Salem could sing, or rap, or dance, or anything they were witnessing right now. They smiled and continued to watch the show.

The band had played multiple eras and genres of music. The crowd becoming more wild with every song. Salem smiled at them, ending another song.

"It makes me sad to say this, but it's time for the last song of the night. You've been a great crowd." She said, pulling up her guitar and stool again. She sat the mic in its stand and adjusted it.

"Now, I have been in a bit of an emotional roller coaster these past few days, and while making the set list for tonight, this song really seemed to reach out and talk some sense to me. I hope you enjoy it, Landslide by Fleetwood Mac." She said, introducing the song. The lights went low and a spot light was shone on her figure.

"I took my love, then I took it down. I climbed a mountain then I turned around..." She began to sing. Vince swayed with the music, while Howard listened to it, finding her meaning in the song.

"...And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills, 'til the landslide brought me down. Oh mirror in the sky, what is love?" She kept singing.

Howards jaw fell open finding her meanings.

"... Can I handle the seasons of my life? Well, I've been afraid of changing, Cause I built my life around you. But time gets bolder and even children get older, I'm getting older too." She sang, a sad smile came across her face, letting her heart pour into the song.

Howard looked out into the crowd, finding smiles and tears among their faces. He turned his attention over to Vince, who stared at her in wonder. Howard nudged him with his elbow.

"How are you liking the song Vince?" He asked. Vince nodded his head, feeling moved by the womans voice ringing through the speakers. He felt his heart beat wildly, the lyrics reaching his ears and deep into his heart.

"She's spell binding..." Vince said, not taking his eyes off of her. Howard nodded in agreement as the song ended. The security teams went to work, keeping people off of the stage as she made her exit. The men smiled at her as she walked up to them.

"You were amazing!" Howard said, surrounding her in a hug. She smiled and laughed.

"Thank you." She said, Howard releasing his hold on her. She motioned for them to follow her, going back to the dressing room to gather her things.

"Wasn't she amazing Vince?" Howard asked, trying to get his friend to speak.

"You were spell binding, Salem." Vince said, shaking his head and smiling. She smiled back at him.

"Thank you, Vince." She said as she gathered up the last bit of her things.

* * *

Vince walked through the doors of Nabootique, dressed in a business suit. His hair under a dirty blonde wig. Salem and Howard looked over to him from the counter.

"Yes, can I help you?" Howard asked.

"Howard, it's me, Vince." He said with a sigh. Howard fell backwards onto the floor. Salems jaw dropped and her eyes began to flutter shut. Howard stood up and caught his breath. They looked over to the woman. Her eyes had shut and her body was going limp. Howard caught her before her legs could give out.

"Come on, it's not that big of a deal." Vince said. Howard grabbed a stack of papers and began fanning the girls face.

"What brought all this on then? You don't even look like yourself." Howard said, seeing the girl start to stir.

"It's over! Last night proved it. They're always a step ahead of us." Vince said. Salem began to come around, hearing Vince talk about getting another job and being able to get Howard one as well.

"There has to be something we can do that will blow them away?" Howard said. Vince began throwing ideas at Howard. Salem stood up while they began Crimping.

"That's it! We can Crimp! I've got an idea." Vince said, throwing the suitcase that was in his hand to the side.

* * *

Salem followed the group of men and gorilla into The Velvet Onion. The friends saw the impostors Crimping on the stage. Salem clenched her fists together.

"When I get my hands on them..." She said, walking between Howard and Vince.

"Easy girl, we'll get them." Vince said, Howard holding her back from the railing. Vince and Howard began calling them out on stealing their style, and the argument escalated from there with the result turning into a Crimping war.

She watched with Naboo and Bollo from the side stage as round after round of the Crimping went by.

"There's no way we can keep up, we're finished." Vince said.

"There is one way..." Naboo said, trailing off.

"No, it's too dangerous. There's no way we can pull off the group Crimp." Howard said.

"I think we can pull it off. Five minds all in sync with one another." Naboo said taking a glance at the group.

"It's worth a shot. What have we got to lose?" Salem said.

The spot light came onto the group. They lined up, Bollo, Vince, Salem, Howard and Naboo.

"Crimpity, Crimpity..." They all started. Moving in sync and to the unheard beat, all words timed perfectly without practice.

"... Crimpity, Crimpity Fuck you." They ended, turning to the impostors and flipping them off.

The crowd cheered and booed the losers off the stage.

"We did it." Vince said happily. Salem watched the men all celebrate, happy to have been part of saving their dream.

* * *

Vince held up the latest copy of Cheekbones magazine. The cover showing a picture of himself, Howard and Salem.

"It looks like we're back." He said with a smile.


	18. Chapter 18: TheStrangeTaleoftheCrackFox

_A/N: ... Just to be clear, for some unknown reason... this episode freaks me the **** out... majorly... Enjoy ^^_

* * *

 **Chapter Eighteen:**

 **The Strange Tale of the Crack Fox**

Salem stood next to a bunch of boxes taking inventory, when Vince walked through the door, late for work as usual. Howard began scolding him for his laziness, putting him on trash duty.

"What did you just do with that garbage?" Howard asked.

"I threw it out the back." Vince said.

"You can't just throw it out the back, You're suppose to go put it in the bin..." Howard began, speaking in the technical terms and procedures for waste management.

"And how do you know all this?" Vince asked.

"I was a bin man at one point." Howard said. Vince chuckled and stood from his seat.

"What's so funny?" Howard asked.

"This is great. It's going on Myspace." Vince said.

"You're not going anywhere, you're going to get the trash from the back and put it all into the bin." Howard said, grabbing his briefcase.

"And where are you going?" Vince asked. Salem came out from the back, watching the scene before her.

"Jazzersise." Howard said. She smiled, and looked over to Vince as Howard left the shop.

"I'll help you, Vince. I'm done with my part anyways." She said, walking to Vinces side.

"Thank you, but you really don't have too." He said. She smiled up at him.

"It's fine. I'd love to help." She said, melting his heart.

He opened the door, the pair looking up at the mounds of garbage bags that had piled up. They sighed and began digging the bags out, Vince pausing when he found an entrance of some kind. He motioned for her to follow him, and stepped into the cave like structure. Salem clung onto his hand, not liking the place at all.

"Vince, I've got a bad, bad feeling about this." She whispered. Vince shrugged it off and kept going, her behind him.

"Hey there!" A high pitched voice said. They looked over to see a dirty looking fox, with needles for fingers. Her grip tightened on his hand. The creature began to talk with Vince, glancing at Salem every few minutes. Vince tried to get them out of there, but kept getting distracted. The fox started telling his tale to Vince, with the help of some home drawn animations running through a projector.

"Can I come in your house?" The fox asked. Salem cringed, not liking the idea at all.

"No. Now I'll see you around." Vince said, trying to back up and shield the trembling girl at the same time. The fox then started begging for Vince to kill it, and got Vinces sympathy.

* * *

The fox sat on the counter top, looking around the dwelling.

"Vince, I've got a bad feeling about this. Plus the needles on his fingers freak me out." She said, shaking still from the feelings wracking her body.

"It's alright, love. I'll get him some tea and he'll be gone." Vince said, holding the girl close to him. She stayed close to him, helping him in the kitchen. The fox had wanted in the potions cabinet, Vince had told him no but flashed the key at him.

Vince turned to the other counter where Salem stood watching the tea pot with the oven off. He wrapped an arm around her. The fox had said something in a deep and dark voice. The pair turned to see what he had said, only for the fox to hop up, and blow a kind of knock out gas out of his rear. Their world went black and they fell to the floor.

* * *

Naboo and Bollo walked into the shop, a terrible smell burring their noses.

"Vince." Naboo called. Vince began to stir and stood up from the floor. He looked down, noticing the girl stirring, he helped her to her feet. Naboo rushed into the kitchen.

"What happened?" He asked, looking through the cabinets as Vince explained about the fox.

"He cleaned us out. The Shaman juice is missing as well. This is serious. Who through the garbage out the back?" Naboo asked. Salem, still a bit dazed, looked up at Vince.

"Howard did it." He said. Salem shook her head.

"Vince, tell the truth!" She scolded him.

"And where is Howard?" Naboo asked, at that moment Howard walked through the door, returning from his jazzersise.

"Howard, what have you done?" Naboo began scolding him. Salem watched as Naboo turned his back on him, while Vince got a multi-colored cape. Howard begged Vince to tell the truth, while he twirled in the new piece of clothing.

"Vince, seriously? You're lying to keep a cape?" Salem scolded, feeling empathetic for Howard as he was pushed out the door by Bollo.

"Go ready the Carpet." Naboo said to Bollo, who took off in a rush. Salem stared at the door, while Vince was given a promotion. Naboo and Bollo left to see the Shaman Council.

* * *

Vince held a party that night at the shop. Salem stood in the corner, her arms crossed over her mid section. She eyed the party goers around her, making sure they didn't steal anything or destroy any valuables. She walked up to Vince, who was talking to another girl.

"Sorry to interrupt, but, Vince, can I have a word with you for a moment?" She asked. He looked down at her.

"Can't it wait? I'm trying to put my moves on this girl." He said. Salem felt her heart start to break, feeling tears try to escape her eyes. Time paused before she could reply.

"Vince, Vince." Naboos voice came out of the other girls mouth. Vince turned back to her confused.

"Vince it's me, Naboo. I'm using this girl as a medium to talk to you." He said. Vince was skeptical.

"If you're really Naboo, tell me something only we would know." He said.

"I caught you licking a picture of Terry -" Naboo started before Vince told him to be quiet.

"We don't have much time. You need to find the Shaman juice before the fox can use it and destroy the world. You're our only hope Vince." Naboo said.

Time unfroze, and Salem looked away from him.

"I'm leaving to find Howard and set things right. Come join me when you've gotten you priorities straightened out." She said, throwing on her black cardigan.

"Salem, love. Don't be like that. Come on, enjoy yourself." Vince begged, watching her walk out the door. His heart felt heavy at the sight of her walking down the street through the windows of the shop.

"So anyways, how about we go out sometime?" Vince said, putting his most charming smile across his face. The girl shot him down, finding out about his freaky experience with licking the magazine.

Vince shut the party down, and began forming a plan to save Naboo and Bollo. He sat down and began to draw, ending up with a plan pony, and decided to go find Howard.

* * *

"Howard." Salem called, going down the street, seeing a garbage truck and many workers. Howard looked up from emptying one of the bins.

"Salem, what are you doing here? And this early in the morning no less." Howard said as the girl ran up to him. He noticed the tears in her eyes and held her tightly.

"He's a jerk, and an idiot... He's blind to what's around him and he's self absorbed..." The girl ranted on in his arms. Howard sighed.

"But yet, you still love him." Howard said. The girl nodded and sniffled. He stroked her hair as she began to calm down.

"Come with me. I'm sure my friends would understand the situation." Howard said, leading Salem to one of the disposal trucks.

* * *

Vince walked down the street, looking for any sign of Howard or Salem.

"Excuse me, do you have any change?" A homeless man asked.

"No, I don't have any change." He said.

"Not even a little bit?" The homeless man pleaded.

"No. I don't even have pockets." Vince said showing the man his suit.

"The only way I can give you anything is if you take plastic." Vince said.

"That I do." The homeless man said, holding out a transaction machine. Vince filled out the information, taking the receipt from the man.

"Have you, by chance, seen a man with bushy hair, looks like a jazz freak anywhere around? Goes by Howard." Vince asked.

"No." He replied. Vince listed all the other features of Howard, receiving the same response from the homeless man.

"... Beady tiny shrimp like eyes?" Vince asked.

"Yea, ol' shrimp eyes. He's just around the corner." The homeless man said.

"Yes. What about a red headed girl?" He asked hoping to find them both.

"Beautiful creature with big jugs?" The homeless man asked.

"Yea..." Vince said, not liking the description of Salem.

"Yea, she's with ol' shrimp eyes, had tears running down her face. Poor thing looked heart broken..." He said. Vince nodded and ran towards the pair, digging threw the trash cans and depositing the bags in the truck.

"Howard? Salem?" Vince said, walking up to the pair.

"What do you want?" Howard asked.

"I need your help." Vince said pleadingly. He looked over at Salems' tear stained face as she looked back at him. Howard began talking about his friends taking him back in with open arms as a bin man, and how Vince had thrown him aside for a stupid cape.

"...I'm sorry alright? To both of you." Vince said.

"It's going to take more than that this time, Vince. I'm going to need a gesture." Howard said. Vince made a face and moved his hands.

"Stop that. I mean it, Vince." Howard said shaking his head.

"Alright. Watch this." Vince said, yelling over to the homeless man and giving him the cape. Salem watched as the man took the cape with a great amount of gratitude. She smiled, still angry with him, but the gesture proving he could change if he wanted to.

"I'll pay you back for this." the homeless man swore.

"...Don't get your hopes up..." Her mind argued. She sighed.

"Alright, I'll help you, but you turn on me for a hat next week and I'm done. You need to make it up to Salem at some point too." Howard said, glancing at the red head standing a yard away from them.

The light from the truck made a halo around her entire body. Her skin illuminated by it, giving her the look of an angel. Vince stopped, stunned by the sight of the woman in front of him. She turned and smiled to them. Vince felt his knees go weak, and his body start to move on its own. He felt himself move over to her and wrap her in his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm an idiot for not seeing it sooner..." He said. She chuckled nervously.

"What are you talking about?" She asked. Vince moved one of his hands to her cheek, stroking the skin with his thumb.

"You're beautiful, Salem... And I think -" Vince started to say, the horn of the truck ruining the moment. They all sighed, and went back to the shop.

Going back through the trash pile made Salem tremble. Not finding any sign of the fox, Vince pulled out the plan pony.

"Where is he plan pony?" Vince asked.

"Look beneath you." The picture replied.

Howard held the flashlight as Vince opened a man hole, leading down into the sewer. The trio made there way down, walking along the concrete paths made for management.

"It stinks down here." Vince complained.

"You get use to it, Vince." Howard said, going on to explain how he had worked in sanitation before being a bin man. The trio looked around and soon came upon a small gathering of animals, the fox leading them, waiting for the light of the full moon to activate the potion. As soon as it activated, the fox stuck one of his needled fingers into the juice and began making the garbage bags float around the room.

Vince pushed Salem back, sensing her slight fear of the creature, and stepped into the light. He tried to be assertive, but the fox had different ideas. The homeless man, ran into the scene, confronting the fox.

With the fox distracted, Vince walked over and grabbed the Shaman Juice. He made it back to Howard and Salem before the fox had noticed.

"Give me back my Shaman Juice!" The fox screeched. The trio began to run. Vince grabbed Salems' hand to make sure she didn't get lost, as they ran through the tunnel and out onto the street. A garbage truck backed up to the end of the tunnel as the trio lept out, causing the fox to smash into the back of it and be killed by the crusher.

"We have to get this to Naboo!" Howard said.

* * *

Naboo was knelt down, his head in the guillotine, waiting to be put to death. The council all stood around him, when a white car appeared into view.

"We have the Shaman Juice." Vince said. The council cheered and released Naboo and Bollo, while Tony complained about how he had prepped his mind for that day.

* * *

The apologies were all exchanged, and everyone went back to their daily routines. Vince sat in a chair, watching as Salem restocked some of the shelves, over the top of his magazine. As he watched her, he started to notice little things about her. He noticed how she danced while humming a tune while she restocked, how her nose twitched when she dusted something. He found her sneezing adorable.

"What's the matter with me?" He thought, sighing and trying to go back to reading the magazine in his hand. He found himself unable to concentrate on the articles, and his eyes moving to watch the red head.

Howard noticed Vince staring at something and followed his line of sight. He allowed himself to chuckle and shook his head.

"Let's just see how this plays out." He thought, going back to taking inventory.


	19. Chapter 19: Party

**Chapter Nineteen:**

 **Party**

"Happy Birthday, Howard!" Salem chirped, walking down the stairs with her hands behind her back.

"Thank you, Salem. What have you got there?" Howard asked, trying to look behind her back.

"Oh, nothing." She said, holding out a wrapped gift for him. He took the present from her and opened it.

"...Just a Norah Jones Vinyl..." She said smiling.

"Thank you, that's very thoughtful of you." Howard said, opening his arms. Salem walked into him, embracing him. She released him, smiling and going around the shop to start her day.

Vince walked in, while Howard sat behind the counter, playing his new Jazz/Pop album.

"Happy birthday Howard." Vince said, holding up some new fashion tops and hanging them up.

"Thanks, Vince. What did you get me?" Howard said, looking to see if he had hidden a present in the rack of clothes.

"It's on its way." Vince said. Howard rolled his eyes.

"Sure it is." He said. Vince smiled.

"It really is, Howard." Vince defended.

"Hey, why don't we have a party in the flat after the shop closes to celebrate your birthday?" Vince said, looking for an excuse to throw a party.

"No, Vince, I don't like parties." Howard said.

"Why is that?" Salem asked, sweeping her way into the room with a broom. Howard began to explain how Vince had told all the kids there would be a bouncy castle when they were younger.

"That was ages ago and no one was going to come." Vince said. Salem sighed.

"So, How's it feel to be 40?" Vince asked.

"I'm not 40." Howard said.

"50?" Vince asked.

"How old do you think I am?" Howard asked offended.

"Come on, How old are you really?" Vince asked.

"I'm 32." Howard answered, Vince chuckled.

"Yes, I'm 10 years older than you." Howard said. Salem giggled at them in the background.

"What's so funny?" Howard asked.

"I guess I've got the baby charm then." She said, smiling a dazzling smile.

"Well how old are you?" Vince asked, his nerves going haywire. They had never discussed age before and he was praying that she was of age or close to it.

"Haven't you heard the expression 'Never ask a lady about her age'?" She asked. Vince dropped his head, while Howard giggled, already knowing the answer to the question.

"But, I guess if you must know, I'm only 20." Salem finally said with a giggle. Vince let out an inaudible sigh of relief.

"So, how about that party Howard?" Vince asked.

"No, I planned on a quiet night in, listening to jazz with Mr. Coldcreek." Howard said. A brightly dressed girl walked into the store and started looking at the jazz records.

"Oh, Hello. I noticed you were looking at the jazz albums..." Howard started. Salem smiled, and began cleaning the rest of the store.

"Hey, Salem?" Vince said. She turned around to look at him.

"Yes, Vince?" She asked, cleaning supplies in hand, and walking over to the back corner of the shop.

"Well, If Howard allows a party, would you mind... um... " He trailed off. He had never had this much trouble with women before the girl looking up at him.

"If I would what?" She said, her heart fluttering.

"... If you would wear matching outfits and make an appearance with me? As friends, that is." He said after having a mental panic.

"Coward! You should have just asked her to go with you!" He scolded himself. Her face fell slightly, but she smiled.

"Of course, Vince. What are friends for?" She said, turning and going back to her duties. Vince had seen her face, knowing something was wrong with her. He turned to see the brightly dressed girl, ending her conversation about having a party. He made his way to the pair smiling.

Howard strutted off, going up the stairs to talk with Naboo about having a party.

"Hey, thanks. He would have never wanted a party if it weren't for you." Vince said, handing the girl the bribe money.

"No problem. See you there." She said, walking out of the shop. Salem felt a tear fall out of her eye, and quickly finished her job for the day.

* * *

Salem had finished and was placing the supplies back in the closet when she saw Vince walk back in with the matching outfits. They had long flowing, cream colored sleeves with some strange print on them. The bust area was a deep green with the same creamy material flowing down from an empire waist.

She inspected the outfits further as Vince held them up. Black stretchy leggings, shiny, cream colored platform boots, white head bands and feathered, grey capes. She shook her head at the look.

"You want me, to wear that?" She asked, Vince nodded excitedly. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Alright, for you, I'll wear it." She said, taking the outfit in her arms and heading up the stairs to get ready for the party. Vince felt like his heart was going to burst at the same time he felt his pants become a tighter.

"Shit, I'll have to take care of that before she sees it." He thought rushing to his room, taking care to keep his lower region out of view.

* * *

Salem was dressed, with her make up done, and the accessories Vince had given her in place. Her hair was left down, with the head band going around her head like a ringlet. She exited her room, and walked over to Vinces', knocking on the door.

"Come in." He said. She opened the door and walked in, closing it behind her. She looked around to see a type of lounge chair, decked out with feathers and other decorations, matching their outfits.

"Vince?" She asked, looking around the room for him.

"I'm back here. Give me a minute." He said from behind a changing screen. She took a seat near the vanity, looking in the mirror, and making sure she looked perfect.

Vince came out, dressed and ready, looking in the girls direction and smiling. She stood from the chair and smiled.

"You look amazing. Let's have a look." Vince said, taking her hand and twirling her around. She smiled.

"Now you." She said, standing on her toes and twirling him in a circle. The man smiled down at her, hands still connected.

"Salem." He said, looking straight into her eyes.

"Yes, Vince?" She asked, searching his face.

"Before we make our entrance, I just wanted to tell you that I-" Vince started, being interrupted by a knock on the door. He sighed, and let go of Salems' hand. He cracked open the door to see Howard standing there.

"Hey, why aren't you at the party?" Howard said, starting a conversation about being fashionably late for parties, leading to Vince trying to talk him out of making a speech about safety. Salem sighed, waiting for Vince to return. She looked in the mirrors again.

"I'm at least cute... Right?" She thought, examining her face and body. She couldn't find anything really wrong with her. She sighed again, depression settling into her mind, even if it were just a little bit.

"We have to hurry, Howard's killing the mood." Vince said, grabbing her hand and helping her onto the decorated lounge, leaning back himself. Some men lifted them up.

"Vince, I'm not so sure about this." Salem said, struggling to stay seated.

"You''ll be fine, here, lean on me." Vince said, pulling her back to lean against his side. She blushed and looked up at him.

"Better?" He asked with a smile. A light pink dusting his cheeks for a moment. She nodded.

"Now, just put on a show." He said.

The doors were thrown open, two show girls dressed in white and gold threw up gold confetti. A fog machine had been running making the room fogged as the men carried them through the doorway. Vince greeted everyone with a smile, while Salem smiled and shrunk back from the angry looks on some of the crowds faces.

Vince hopped off the lounge, helping her off as well. He took the mic from Howard and made a small announcement, causing the crowd to liven up. Vince smiled and began talking to Howard.

"Thanks for upstaging me, you even got Salem in on it too." Howard commented.

"Yea, sorry about that, but I had to make an entrance to make them all feel like they had my attention." Vince explained.

"You don't look like you're enjoying yourself Howard." Vince said.

"Oh, you noticed that, did you/" Howard replied, starting a small pep talk from Vince. Salem stood off in a corner, receiving nasty looks from some of the party goers.

"Look, if it isn't the flavor of the hour." One of the girls said, eying Salem with distaste.

"Excuse me? I'm just one of his friends." Salem defended.

"Hm. Suits you to be just friends." The girl said with a smirk.

"And, just what is that suppose to mean?" Salem asked.

"It means, dear, that Vince would never like a fat ass like you in his most desperate moments." Another girl said, standing next to the other girl. Salem took in their stick thin figures.

"I see. Thank you for enlightening me, ladies." Salem said, leaving the girls to themselves. She left the party, choosing to climb the stairs onto the roof. She sat down and pulled her knees to her chest.

"I told you this would happen... It always ends up this way... You fall in love, give them everything to make them happy and get let down..." Her mind told her.

"I can't help how I feel about him... I'm not even worried about being his and him being mine... I just hope he can be happy..." She thought, wiping a tear from her eyes.

"Then, why are we sitting here crying?" Her mind spoke again.

"Because, I think those girls are right... How could anyone like a girl like me?" She thought.

"Now, don't start this again. You're cute at the least." Her mind piped in. Salem sighed and stared out at the stars. Howard escaped the party, coming up to the roof and sitting down next to her.

"The stars are lovely tonight." He started, trying to make conversation. She smiled sadly, leaning her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"What's the matter, love?" He asked. She remained quiet for a while, enjoying the starry night.

"I'm starting to think I'm not good enough for him, Howard." She said. Howard scoffed at the confession.

"Now, why would you think that?" He asked. She sat up straight.

"Some of the other girls pointed out that I'm no where near his type of girl. He's always going for thinner, model type women, and I'm... I'm..." She stopped, feeling another tear escaping her eye.

"You're beautiful, Salem." Howard said with a smile. She looked up.

"...No, they are beautiful. Vince is beautiful. I'm just... here." She said, looking back up at the stars.

"Salem, to be frank, Vince is an idiot not to see you in a serious sense." Howard said, trying to boost her self esteem. Salem smiled and looked over at him.

"You really think so?" She asked. Howard wiped the tear that had escaped her eye and smiled.

"I know so." He said. She smiled back and they continued to watch the sky. Vince soon came up the stairs and through the roof access.

"What are you doing up here?" He asked.

"I got embarrassed." Howard said.

"I don't want to talk about it." Salem answered, looking away from him. Vince sensed her mood and let it go for now. He sat next to Howard.

"What are you doing up here? I thought you enjoyed parties?" Howard asked.

"Yea, well, I'm escaping the high shaman, Dennis. His wife caught me in the closet and now he's after me with his sword." Vince said. Salem chuckled sadly.

"I didn't do anything with her. She just grabbed me and pulled me in." Vince said, seeing the look on Howards face. The men talked, while Salem sulked, catching small bits of the conversation. She heard Howard confess to never being kissed before, and Vince giving him hell for it. The Shaman appeared through the access, seeing Vince and threatening to kill him.

"I'm not interested in your wife, I swear!" Vince said.

"Oh yea? I have trouble believing that!" Dennis yelled, holding up his sword.

"It's true, I'm in love with someone else!" Vince said.

"Who?" He asked.

"I'm... I'm in love with... Howard!" He exclaimed, panic throwing his mind in loops. Salem blanked at the news.

"Well, that explains a lot... but not really..." She thought.

"Prove it." Dennis said. Vince grabbed Howard and kissed him.

"Well, I'm going... to go rethink somethings in my life." Dennis said awkwardly.

"Thanks, you really saved me back there." Vince said. Howards face lit up. Salem face palmed, more confused then ever, as Howard began ranting on about being gay and him being in love with Vince the entire time. Howard stood up, jumping around.

"Howard! Be careful, You're going to fall off the roof!" Salem and Vince tried to warn him, grabbing onto him as he fell backwards, dragging them with him. They fell softly onto a bouncy castle, bouncing up and down on it.

"Hello?" The jazz girl from earlier came into view.

"You came back." Howard said.

"Yea." She said smiling. Howard began hitting on her, and invited her into to castle. Vince was thrown into a whiplash from Howards words.

"But you just said you were in love with me..." Vince began ranting, with Howard explaining himself, settling the argument quickly. Howard took the girls hand and began bouncing. Salem was about to get out, having had enough for one day, when she felt a tug on her hand. She turned and saw Vinces hand holding hers.

"Come on, it'll be fun." Vince said, smiling at her. She shook her head, and stood back up.

"I must be out of my mind." She thought, bouncing with the group, more people joining as the night went on.

* * *

The crowd had left, leaving Vince, Howard the jazz girl and Salem in the bouncy castle alone.

"Well, I should be going." The jazz girl said, sitting up and sliding out.

"Wait up, I'll show you out." Howard said. Salem laughed at the mans attempt to be smooth, then bounced once more before laying down and looking up at the sky.

Vince followed her action, taking the spot next to her. There was a comfortable silence between them, each deep in thought.

"Tell her now, it's the perfect time!" His mind shouted at him. He looked over at Salem, examining her face closely. There was a content look on her face, he looked even closer, noticing the trails along her cheeks made from tears.

"What were you crying about earlier, Salem?" He asked. She turned her head to face him and smiled.

"You're going to think it's stupid." She said, a light pink tint crossed her cheeks.

"No I won't." He replied with a giggle.

"Yes, you will." She argued.

"I promise, I won't." He said in a serious tone. Salem looked at him confused, having never heard Vince be that serious before.

"You promise?" She asked, rolling to her side to face him. Vince mirrored her action, nodding.

"Yes, now what was up?" He asked. She sighed, and looked away from him.

"Some girls at the party said some nasty things to me." She said, keeping it general.

"Really now? And what could they have said to upset you that badly?" Vince said both angered and curious.

"They said I was a fat ass and that it suited me to just be friends with..." She trailed off, not sure how to express her feelings for him.

"Just be friends with who?" Vince asked. She looked at him, her eyes starting to get red.

"With you, Vince. They called me the flavor of the hour, like I was just a passing fling at first..." She confessed. Vince smiled.

"And why would that bother you?" He asked, watching as her cheeks grew pink.

"Because, Vince... I... You have a certain life style for going from woman to woman, and you're known for flirting with anything on two legs, and... and..." Salem stopped mid sentence, getting lost in Vinces' intense blue eyes and bright smile. He propped his head up on his hand.

"And what, Salem?" He asked with a teasing tone lacing his voice.

"And... Oh, I don't know!" She groaned out, rolling her head into the soft floor of the castle. Vince held back his laughter at the girls behavior.

"Salem, do you know why I go from girl to girl?" He asked.

"To play the field?" She guessed, peeking one eye out to look at him. He shook his head with his smile stretching even wider.

"No, I do it to find my equal in this life. I want someone who's fun, with a love of bright colors, soft fabrics and dancing. The problem I'm having now, is I found her, and can't seem to get her attention at all." Vince confessed. Salem picked her head up.

"You? Not able to catch a girls attention? Please, that's impossible! You have hundreds of girls lining up just to be near you! I find it hard to believe that this one girl hasn't noticed you." She said, looking over to him. He looked into her eyes for a moment, before she looked away.

"...I know I have..." She said, her face turning as red as her hair. Vince smiled and felt his heart start to speed up. Salem sat up on her knees, looking at the far wall of the castle. Vince moved and sat on his knees. He inched closer to her, until his knees touched hers.

"Salem?" He said, turning his head to try and make eye contact with her. She focused in on the wall, prepping herself for rejection.

"Salem, look at me." Vince said, cupping her cheek with his hand and turning her head to face him. Her eyes were starting to puff up and turn red, her breathing was ragged, and her body was stiff. Vince smiled and placed his hand back on his lap.

"Salem, I've been trying to tell you this for weeks. It seems that... what I mean is..." Vince stuttered, tripping over his words. She looked up at him with big eyes.

"Yes, Vince?" She asked in a breathy tone. Vince let out a breath and smiled.

"Salem, I-" He started, interrupted by Howard slamming open the back door, smiling.

"Vince, Salem! You'll never believe what... just... am I interrupting something?" Howard asked, looking at the pair, confusion written on his face. Salem kept her eyes trained on Vince, as he got up and went to talk to Howard.

Salem let her head fall down to her lap, hearing the murmurs from the two men. She waited for a while, then heard the door shut. She looked up and saw Vince walking quickly over to her. She stood up and jumped out of the castle.

"Vince, what's the matter?" She asked. Vince said nothing and kept his pace.

"Fuck it all." He said in a hushed tone, more to himself than anyone else. He got within arms reach of Salem and grabbed her shoulders. She looked up at him, as he jerked her body closer to his and planted his lips onto hers.

She felt her body go stiff for a brief second, before she started kissing him back. Her eyes closed, and her hands found refuge on his chest. His arm slid down her shoulders and wrapped around her waist, while the other moved up and found its place on the side of her neck.

Salem feel hear her heart beating against her rib cage, feeling Vinces' heart doing the same under her fingers. Vince pulled back slowly, breathing hard. Salem opened her eyes, breathing hard as well. Their breaths mixed in an intoxicating dance on each others lips.

"Salem, I love you." Vince said, looking straight into her eyes. She smiled up at him.

"I love you too, Vince." She said softly. Vince smiled and cupped her face with both of his hands, leaning his forehead against hers. She blushed brightly and smiled at him. Her sparkling eyes matching his. He leaned closer, placing his lips on hers more gently this time.

Their lips moved in sync, as Salem wrapped her arms around his neck. His tongue tapped her lips lightly, asking to be let in. She opened her mouth on instinct, allowing him the entrance he had been craving for months. She moaned lightly as his tongue explored her mouth, and tapped at her own.

His hands traveled down her body to the back of her thighs, lifting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. She squeaked at the contact, as he walked them over to the castle and sat them down. His arms moved to around her waist, holding her tightly. They pulled away from each other, out of breath and smiling, holding each other close.

"Salem, be my girlfriend." Vince said once he had caught his breath.

"Vince, I... I can't..." She said, looking up at him.

"Why not?" He asked, trying not to panic.

"Because if I did, I'd get hurt. I need someone to give me all of them... I guess what I'm trying to say is... I can't share you, Vince." She said, trying to explain. Vince smiled and shook his head.

"Salem. You're the only one I've had my eye on. The other girls weren't anything compared to you... So what do you say? Be my girlfriend." Vince said. Salem looked up at him, trying to find any sign of lies.

"No other women?" She asked, finding no trace of deception.

"None. I'd give up my whole closet just for you." He said, leaning his head on hers, keeping their eyes locked. She smiled and nodded.

"Alright." She whispered.

"Alright?" Vince asked excitedly.

"Yea." She said smiling. Vince picked her up with one arm around her back and the other under her legs and stood. He bounced around the castle in happiness. Salem clung to his neck out of happiness and fear of falling.

The couple stopped bouncing and jumped out of the castle. Vince grabbed her hand, and opened the back door, helping her inside ahead of him. They walked up the stairs. Naboo, Bollo and Howard all watched them with knowing smiles on their faces. Vince walked Salem to her door, squeezing her hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked teasingly, a smile planted firmly on his face. Salem smiled and nodded.

"Don't you always, Mr. Noir?" She replied, making his smile turn even bigger. He leaned in, kissing her lips lightly.

"Good night, Vince." She said after pulling away. She opened her door and started to enter it.

"Good night, Salem." Vince said smiling as she shut the door. Vince walked into the common room, being greeted by the stares of his friends and their smiling faces.

"What?" He asked. The two men and gorilla looked at each other then back at Vince.

"It's about time." They all said in unison.


	20. Chapter 20: Bonus Chapter!

_A/N: I wrote a lemon version of this... If anyone over 18 is interested I'll be glad to send it too you._

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty:**

 **Bonus Chapter!**

A few months later...

Salem worked the lights from the catwalk above the stage, watching Vince and Howard perform. She smiled as they finished another song and Vince looked up, winking at her.

She smiled and blew a kiss to him before switching the lights for the next song.

* * *

The show was over and the trio had just walked through the doors of Nabootique.

"Well, I'm exhausted. I'm going to retire for the night. Good night you two." Howard said, heading off into his room, hearing the good nights from his friends. The couple sat down in the common room. Salem snuggling into Vinces' side as they watched the t.v. A commercial coming on with bright colors and showcases coming on.

"You know, I just had a brilliant idea." Vince said. She looked up at him.

"Oh? And what would that be?" She asked.

"An Electro Circus! I could introduce a variety of acts, and you could run the equipment! We could travel around the world, showcasing some of the newest trending acts in the world! We could make a fortune! And you would be right by my side, the whole time..." Vince said, excitement making his blue eyes twinkle. Salem smiled up at him, kissing his cheek.

"If you really want to try it, I'll help in any way I can." She agreed. Vince smiled brightly down at her.

"I can always count on you, can't I?" he asked.

"Always, Vince." She answered with an even brighter smile. He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers.

"That's one of the reasons I love you." He said, breaking the kiss. Salem blushed, but smiled.

"...You're so beautiful. How'd I get so lucky to find you?" Vince muttered softly. She felt her heart flutter at his words.

"Well, you and Howard do have some of the best luck I've ever seen." She said teasingly. Vince thought his cheeks would burst from smiling so widely. He leaned his head against hers, both chuckling softly.

"I guess you're right." Vince said, leaning in and kissing her. Her response was immediate, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close, while his wrapped around her waist. He had never felt as treasured by someone until he had been in her arms as a lover.

His tongue tapped at her lips, trying to deepen the kiss. She held her lips closed to tease him. He let his arms fall down lower, giving her bottom a squeeze. She gasped and he took his chance, letting his tongue feel around her mouth.

A low moan reached his ears, making his pants feel tighter in response. She played with the ends of his hair, while their tongues danced. His grip on her backside became firmer, and more desperate.

"Salem, If we don't stop now... I don't think I'll be able to at all..." Vince panted, breaking the kiss. She looked up at him, her cheeks red, lips swollen, soft and inviting. She was out of breath, but still clung to him.

"Then don't." She said softly. Vince felt his member spring to life at those two words. He pulled her legs around his waist and stood, lifting her with him. Their lips crashed together in a heated frenzy, as he walked into her room.

* * *

Vince moved beside her, pulling her head onto his shoulder, his arm around her securely, their naked bodies sharing heat.

"That was amazing, love." She said smiling up at him. Vince smiled down at her before leaning in and capturing her lips one more time.

"You're amazing..." He said, breaking apart from her. They stayed in the quiet of the room, letting sleep take them over.

* * *

Vince and Salem started to explore the new talents around the city, trying to find showcases for the Electro Circus idea.

"Ooo, Sammy the crab." Vince pointed out. Salem smiled, remembering some of the acts she had seen on the Internet starring the crab.

"He's good. You think we could get him to join in?" She asked. Vince smiled at her.

"Just leave it to me." He said, doing what he does best.


	21. Chapter 21: The Chokes

**Chapter Twenty-One:**

 **The Chokes**

A few weeks later...

"Salem, I just got off the phone with one of the bands. There front man just died and we need to figure out what's going to happen. Want to tag along and bounce around some ideas?" Vince asked with a smile on his face.

Salem looked up at him, bags had formed under her eyes from staying up all night being sick.

"I don't think that's wise, love." She said standing up. Her head spinning, she quickly braced herself against one of the displays of the shop. Vince rushed over to her, placing his hand on her back and rubbing it soothingly.

"You look pale. Maybe you should go see a doctor?" He said, taking her hand and helping her to a chair. She sighed, looking into his eyes and nodded.

"I made an appointment for later this morning, I can't be feeling down when there's so much to do." She said, feeling guilty.

"Your health's more important than a small bump in the plans. Do you want me to take you?" Vince asked.

"No, dear. I'll manage to get there and back. You go on and figure out what the band wants to do." She said with a weak smile. Vince looked skeptically at her.

"Are you sure? I mean, the shows not that important... we can always-" He stopped when she held up her hand.

"I'll be alright, love. You go on. I'm sure I'll be feeling better after seeing the doctor." She said smiling, kissing his hand. Vince nodded and walked out of the door.

* * *

Vince had photo shopped his head over the front mans' to see how it would look to the group of pipe legged musicians.

"Well, you've got the look Vince, but your legs look like you play fut ball." One of them said.

"Well, yea." Vince said smiling. The band all commenting on his muscular legs, and how they had a specific look.

"Tell you what... If you can fit into these by tonight, you're in." One said, gesturing to a pair of small, pipe legged pants.

"Alright. See you tonight." Vince said, taking the pants and leaving the group.

* * *

Salem sat on one of the exam tables, a patch on her arm from having blood taken for testing. She drummed her fingers nervously, waiting for the results.

"Ms. Sterling?" The nurse called, entering the room. Salem sat at attention. The nurse gave a kind smile at her.

"It isn't serious, is it?" Salem asked, her mind jumping to the worst possible scenario. The nurse giggled at the young womans jitters.

"No, Ms. Sterling, I have good news for you." She said, smiling brightly. Salem looked at her confused.

"Ms. Sterling, you're expecting." She said. Salem smiled weakly, feeling her head spin once more.

"Ms. Sterling? Ms. Sterling!" The nurse called out to her, bracing the young woman with her arm.

"I'm... pregnant..." She said, the nurse smiled and nodded.

"That you are deary, now let's get you set up with a specialist. You'll want to keep the baby as well as yourself in top condition..." The nurse said. Salem smiled and nodded. She had wanted children eventually, and though it came as a surprise, she couldn't have been happier.

"How am I going to break this to Vince?" She thought, following the nurse to set things up.

* * *

Salem walked through the door of Nabootique, a folder sticking out of her bag slightly. She saw Howard lounging in a chair behind the counter, watching a documentary.

"Hey, Salem. Feeling any better? What did the doctors say?" Howard asked, turning away from the small t.v. Salem smiled and put her hand over her lower stomach. Howard watched the small gesture and smiled.

"Really?" Howard asked. She nodded and smiled brightly, before holding a finger up to her lips.

"I haven't had a chance to tell him yet." She said in a hushed tone. The pair jumped at the sound of loud crashing noises. Vince came in, driving a battery powered wheel chair.

"Oh my god, Vince! What happened? Are you alright? What in the-" Salem began flipping out, examining his body for any damages. Vince laughed and grabbed onto her shoulders.

"I'm fine, I'm just trying to wither my legs down a bit to fit into those pipe legs." He said, pointing over to the case holding the very small pants. Salem let out a sigh of relief, then giggled.

"You're fine the way you are, Vince." She said, placing a kiss on his cheek. Vince smiled.

"I know, but I really want to make it in this band." He said, taking her hand in his.

"You're not going to fit into those pants, and using a wheel chair will not wither them down by tonight." Howard stated.

"It's already working, I've gone down 2 sizes already." Vince defended. Salem rolled her eyes with a smile.

"What ever makes you happy, love." She said. Vince smiled, eying the pants. Howard began trying to tell him the same, only for the two to start an argument. Salem tried to tune them out, rubbing her temples. She caught something about an actor named Jurgon Haabenmaaster, and Sammy the crab, Vinces' phone ringing. She then heard something about there being a small open slot and Howard begging to perform. The argument continued until they finally dropped the subject.

"So, how are you feeling?" Vince asked, turning to face her.

"I'm feeling fine..." She said.

"How did the visit go? What did they say?" He asked. Salem took a deep breath.

"The visit was fine, they took some blood for tests, and... well..." She began to trail off. Vince opened his mouth to say something when Bollo came down the stairs.

"Vince, I just got off Internet. I found way to shrink your legs before tonight." He said. Vince smiled.

"We'll talk a bit later. Let's go then." He said, maneuvering the chair to follow the gorilla, Salem in tow.

* * *

Vince lay on a table, strapped down, while Bollo explained how it worked. She eyed the contraptions skeptically.

"You're sure this is safe, Bollo?" She asked. The gorilla shrugged, causing the red head to become even more nervous.

* * *

Bob Fossil walked through the doors of Nabootique.

"Well, Howard moon as I live and stink." He said, spotting Howard behind the counter.

"Fossil." Howard greeted. Salem walked into the room, head set, radios and clipboard in a bag, ready to go for the show, while Fossil harassed Howard. Vince rolled into the room, conversing with Howard and Fossil about the nights plans. Salem felt a wave of dizziness sweep over her, setting her stuff down on the counter she hurried out of the room and to the nearest restroom.

"What's her problem?" Fossil asked.

"Just ignore her, she just caught a little stomach bug. She'll be fine." Vince said, shrugging it off, as Fossil continued to discuss the poster placement and other various topics before checking the time.

"Vince, We need to get down there!" Fossil exclaimed. Salem walked out at that moment and grabbed her things.

"There's no need to rush, I can just walk down there." Vince replied.

"It's a 15 minute walk, you can't walk if you want to fit into those pants! Here, jump on my back and ride me!" Fossil said. Salem held her hand over her mouth, holding in her laughter.

"Will you be alright, Salem?" Vince asked.

"Yes, dear. I'll be fine." She said, nodding. Vince hopped on Fossils' back and they rushed out the door.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Howard asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She smiled up and nodded.

"Yea, Naboo and Bollo are going to give me a ride." She replied.

"Salem, let's get going... We have to prep for the show." Naboo called for her.

"Speaking of... I'm sorry Howard, but I need to go." She said, a sympathetic look on her face. Howard just nodded and shooed her out the door.

* * *

"OK people! The seats are packed, and our first act is ready! Send out Vince." Salem spoke into the head set sending out the message to every transmitter.

She turned the spotlight on, training it on Vince as he welcomed the audience, and introduced the first act. She flipped a switch, lighting up the entire stage.

"Alright, Naboo and Bollo are on next, 5 minute warning now." She said into the mic.

* * *

Vince had gone to check on the band and Sammy the crab. While Fossil led Jurgon Haabenmaaster to Sammy and the bands dressing room.

"Hey, he's looking a little down, throw a rock in his tank will ya?" Vince asked.

"Yea, sure." One of the members said. Two of the members decided it wasn't enough and started pouring their drinks into the tank.

* * *

Vince stood back on the stage, introducing Naboo the Enigma and his beautiful assistant, Bollo.

Salem focused some extra lights on the stage, while Bollo danced. She giggled, until the radio beeped her in.

"What's going on?" She said seriously.

"There's been an accident, Sammys' flipped shit and has killed the next act." One of the security officers said.

"Is he a threat?" She asked.

"Yes and no. He's calming down and detained in a bucket." The voice said.

"Alright, keep him in that bucket until he cools off, have someone find Vince and ask if he knows anyone to fill the slot, and make sure he doesn't try and put me on." She said over the transmitters.

"On it." The voice said, clicking off.

* * *

"Vince! Sammy has flipped shit!" Fossil said.

"Well, put on the next act." Vince replied.

"We would, but they're dead! Sammy killed them. Do you know anyone who can fill the slot?" Fossil said, panic in his voice.

"I might know someone..." He answered.

* * *

" And the last sword, Bollo." Naboo said. Bollo handed him the sword and Naboo shoved it through the box containing a girl. There was a muffled scream.

"Bollo, did you make sure to grab the magic swords?" Naboo asked.

"Start pulling the curtain!" Salem ordered over the transmitters.

"Uh, what magic swords?" Bollo asked. The curtains closed right at that moment.

Salem flicked off the lights, shining a spotlight on Vince as he made his entrance.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Howard Moon." He said, going off to the side, leaving the spotlight on a frozen Howard.

"Should we hook him?" Another voice came over the transmitter.

"Not yet, give him a moment." Salem said, and at that moment, Howard began acting.

The audience applauded Howards skills, some standing. She watched Howard take his bow, and shut off the light.

"Get Fossil to the Stage to introduce the last act." Salem ordered.

* * *

Howard knocked on Vinces' door.

"Come in." Vince called out. Howard walked in to see Bollo helping Vince into the tight pants. Howard looked at them confused for a moment.

"Hey, Bollo's just helping me get into these pipe legs." Vince said. Howard shook out of his stupor.

"Yea, I just figured I'd come and say goodbye. Jurgon saw my performance and has offered me a job." He said. Vince nodded and winked.

"Don't worry about it, after this, I won't be back either. The band will be going on tour, and Salems' going to manage the stage for us." Vince said getting the pants up.

"Ok, well then... good bye, Vince." Howard said, walking out of the room. Another knock resonated from the door.

"Who is it?" Vince asked.

"Vince, it's me." He heard Salems' voice from the other side.

"Come in." He replied. The door opened quickly, her figure emerging from the hall. She shut the door and turned to him.

"Vince, I know you're busy getting ready, but..." She started. Vince stared straight at her.

"What is it, love?" He asked, getting the pants over his hips.

"Vince, I've got something, important to tell you." She said, looking away from him. Vince panted while Bollo tried to button the clothing.

"Come on, then. You know you can tell me anything." Vince said, stopping for a moment to catch his breath.

"I'm... Vince, I'm pregnant." She said, looking up at his face. Vince went pale, his eyes rolling back into his head. He caught himself on the edge of the table, inhaling sharply.

"Vince?" She asked, moving closer. His eyes came back into focus, looking over at her.

"Well, say something, anything..." She said, feeling her nerves start to fray. Vince looked down at the floor.

"No... There's no way... We're still so young..." Vince said, starting to ramble. Salem backed away from him with fresh tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm keeping it, Vince." She said, a tear escaping her eye. Vince looked up at her face, feeling his heart break at the sight of her tears and knowing he was the cause of them. She turned and opened the door.

"Salem! Salem, love! I didn't-" He started, interrupted by slamming the door.

"-mean it like that..." He finished.

"You in deep shit, my friend." Bollo said, going back to working on getting the pants buttoned, Vince sucking it in and panting while Bollo pulled the material close, buttoning, and zipping it up.

"It's on." Bollo said, looking up.

"Uh, oh." He muttered.

* * *

Salem ran up to the catwalk, heartbroken and defeated, and turned the spotlight on Fossil as he introduced the band. She readied the lights, as the curtains opened. She gasped, seeing Vinces' top half inflated dramatically from fitting into the pants. She watched in shock as he struggled to keep his balance, eventually falling over on the stage.

* * *

Salem sat behind one of the displays at Nabootique. She had been sulking for days. There were deep bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, due to nausea and depression.

"Salem, you need to get out for a bit." Naboo said, looking over her pathetic form. She looked up at him, a weak smile crossed her face.

"You look terrible..." Naboo said, making the smile on her face disappear. She placed her head on the display.

"I know, Naboo, but I can't sleep at night, I'm constantly hungry, but turn around and get sick every time I eat..." She trailed off.

"...Then there's the crying in agony..." Naboo said. She looked away from him. The bell above the door rang causing the pair to look up.

"Howard?" Salem asked.

"Yes. I realized I had everything I needed right here." Howard said, walking in and setting down his bags.

* * *

A few days later...

Howard sat behind the counter talking with Naboo and Bollo. The chiming at the door drew their attention. Vince walked into the shop.

"Vince? What are you doing here? I thought you were going on tour." Howard said. Vince sighed and walked up to the counter.

"I was, but they replaced me. What about you? I thought you went off to be and actor." Vince said.

"I realized that I had everything I needed right here, and that I didn't need all the fame, and money." Howard said, Vince ignoring the majority of his babbling.

"Where's Salem?" Vince asked, looking around the shop for the red head.

"She's off getting a check up." Naboo said, looking at the door as it chimed once again. Vince turned, seeing Salem walk through the door. He noticed she had bags under her eyes, showing her fatigue. She looked up at the group around the counter.

"Vince? What are you doing here?" She asked, her body going rigid. Vince walked up slowly to her.

"The band didn't work out. They replaced me... but, I couldn't do it... without you." He said, looking down into her green cosmic eyes.

"But, I thought you didn't want to be held back? You said yourself that we -" She started, stopping when Vince wrapped his arms around her.

"Yes, we are young, but I wouldn't change anything." He said, kissing the top of her head. She smiled and returned his embrace.

"So, what are we going to name it?" He asked, pulling back and standing by her side, hands entwined. She looked up at the ceiling, deep in thought.

"I haven't really thought about it... but we have time to come up with some...thing..." She said, trailing off when she felt something on her finger. She held up her hand, seeing a silver ring, with two, entwining hearts with small diamonds embedded in them on her left ring finger. She looked up at Vince, confusion written all over her face.

"Vince?" She said.

"It's a promise, that one day, we might... you know..." Vince said, feeling slightly embarrassed. She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek.

"It's a promise." She said, a bright smile on her face.


End file.
